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Yeah, it can be a trip for fresher girls because they grew up in a very patriarchal male gaze society and never developed any of the internal defenses and now all of a sudden those standards APPLY TO YOU and they have a lot of it internalized. And they miss out on some of the sisterhood parts that help, just cause they're so new to womanhood. What is considered femininity is also low key racist, ask any black woman about just how white looking "femme" is - misogynoir is a while thing for a reason. The feminine ideal is very fake and was made up in a board room anyway, to me one of the best descriptions of feminity was in Manhunt and it was like "gentleness, violence, self-flagellation" and I vibed with it so hard. I mean, there's more to it and it's more positive but I did vibe with that description.
It's a relatively common trans experience that prior to cracking a given person goes hard on presenting as their AGAB. Not everyone was a super femme boy or super masc girl or whatever and then transitioned to no one's surprise, plenty did their utmost to present as how they were told to.
I'm still learning to talk about this properly beyond a vague gesture towards phrenology, so I really appreciate you bringing this up. As great as trans mega is, it still commonly centers white perspectives and it would be great to see that improve in the future.
Edit: GOOD POST is what I'm saying
So is fatphobia which goes back to white European colonialism.