WE BEAT THE NEWS MEGA
As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
Show
struggle session talk
Sorry for lashing out at everyone, yesterday.
Sometimes it just feels like I am only viewed as this like...charity case that has to be guided or condescended to and everything I say is wrong.
I was still kind of sensitive about the whole thing from a few days ago, so when I was trying to have a genuine conversation with Ash, but Smiley just comes along with what felt to me a very pithy and hostile and unproductive comment just targeting me and basically (in my eyes) calling me a transphobe it really hurt my feelings.
I'm grateful one of the mods eventually did remove the comment, but at the time it just felt like anything I said was under such intense scrutiny, but anything anyone said to me was fair game.
Like I would be chastised for calling someone delusion (which I shouldn't have done), but people had free reign to call me or liken me to fascists or phrenologists and transphobes.
Which to me is really hurtful.
And seeing all the upbears those comments get just kind of makes or made me feel like I was just surrounded by people who hate me, when this server should feel welcoming.
The anonymous nature of those upbears just kind of increasing my paranoia and making me lash out at everyone.
The only person I knew I was upset with (and who seemed to hate me) was Smiley so I made a post saying she should block me because I didn't want her interacting with me.
The way I did this wasn't very calm or mature, even when I tried to be more level-headed about it after my first comment was removed.
It probably could have/should have been a DM.
I kind of wish it had been because I really did not appreciate her claiming I purposefully misgendered her because I have a habit of using singular they.
She knew I was already sensitive about her previous comments that, in my mind, called me a transphobe. So her making such an accusation felt very purposeful and like she was further trying to upset me, and worse, manipulative like she was trying to get everyone to hate me.
That could or could not be the case, but that's how it felt to me at the time, for what it's worth I am sorry if it genuinely upset you that I used they.
I'm not really trying to dig up the drama, I just want to explain my side of things.
I didn't talk much during the struggle session, but I want you to know that I don't view you that way. Yes, I do feel sad reading these comments, but it's because I'm also hurting from them at the same time.
Thank you for sharing your side. I'm glad you decided to stay and I hope you're in a better place soon.
your hurting from the comments? I dunno if I fully understand.
I think she meant that she’s hurting for you, like sympathetically?
I don't have the right words to explain myself (and quite frankly I don't fully understand why myself either) but I feel like I understand a portion of why she would be feeling that way because I'm also affected being pre-HRT by even the small fraction of what she actually shared, even though our situations obviously are different.
That makes sense
Just want to say that I’m glad you’re here
The struggle sessions don’t define you or anyone else and overall I like you being here.