No, no, girl. Your first comment was right. It is something to be prideful about, but it's just so hard sometimes. I don't believe I was born wrong. If I was meant to be a neurotypical cis woman, I would have been. But sometimes the weight of it all just feels too much to bear and I can't help but wish. Wish for a different world that would accept me or for a different me for the world to accept. To be a cis lesbian girl who had a high school experience full of awkward teenage romance feels like a fantasy compared to the upbringing I had instead. But if I didn't have it? I wouldn't have been the same person. I don't think I would be able to even recognize myself if I bumped into that alternate reality self

It's a heavy, heavy burden for me to bear. I have the strength to do it, but why must I even struggle in the first place? And I get jealous of those who didn't have to suffer as I did just to have some WLW romance