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I feel down about my hands sometimes too. The other day some AI gender matching site came up and while I wasn't brave enough to try my face, they did one for hands. I was resigned to accept a bad result for that but then it came up female with a 99% confidence rate and I was just sorta shocked because I kept telling myself how ick they were. Not that the AI is like something that should be taken seriously or worse as gospel but the point is dysphoria is a little demon that whispers lies and make us doubt ourselves and I wish it was easier to see that while we're feeling it
I'm glad you're happy with your hands!
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Yeah it really is hard to tell how I really look, both because I’m so used to focusing on the things I don’t like and because when I like how I look I start doubting myself and wondering if I’m just seeing things
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It's a struggle for sure. Sucks because not only are there all the usual hurdles related to transitioning but the all-encompassing patriarchal shit raining down at all times that cis women have a entire lifetime to learn how to overcome yet trans women/transfemmes need to fight these two massive battles at once. It can be truly overwhelming