I've honestly never presented femme. The closest to femme was My Little Pony t-shirts in my "brony" phase. I've always had this incredible sense of fear and shame when I had an exposure to femme/women's clothing. As I go through my (honestly pretty repressed) memories to think about it, I remember once that was clothes shopping as a kid with my mom and I picked out a shirt that I really liked, and felt so ashamed. I also remember talking about getting a sapphire ring, and I was told that boys didn't wear that type of jewelry. (Very right-wing, evangelical family). Thinking about this complex is part of how I reached the conclusion that I'm probably not cis. The only thing close to femme I have are these pretty androgynous deep v-neck sweaters that my sister picked out for the family for Christmas photos one year. I really like wearing them, but it's way too hot right now. Everything else I have is a collared shirt, and most of them don't even fit because I've been accumulating weight continuously over the past few years due to stress/stress eating/drinking.

Right now, I don't know how femme I want to look like (or really how femme/female my gender is, TBD). Honestly, I kinda like the idea of ultra-formal, like ruffled cuffs and collars and a cravat. I just googled it to make sure I was thinking of the right thing, and I really wish there was an open version (or alternate front-end) of Pinterest, because I think it has a strong recommendation algorithm but I hate the ads and the tracking, and I want to start putting together imageboards for potentially looks.

Recently, I have enjoyed growing out my hair, although it currently sits as a pomp. I hate it when it sits flat and wet, but I like it when it dries and poofs/curls out. I think I need to start blow-drying it and applying hairspray every day (often I don't get ready for work early enough and I'm then in a rush).