Actual conversation between me and my parents
Me: I'm nonbinary
Them: So you're gay?
Me: Sort of, but that's not what this is about
Dad: Wait, so are you getting the transgenders?
Me: No, this isn't that either, I'm just nonbinary
Mom: So, are you still marrying [your partner]?
Me: No, mama, but we weren't gonna get married anyway
Dad: Okay, so what does this nonbinary mean?
Mom: You're not gonna get surgery are you?
Me: Okay, look, you know the old Almond Joy commercial? Sometimes you feel like a nut? Sometimes you don't?
I don't, I do not feel like a nut, I am not any kind of nut
Dad: You said you weren't gonna get surgery
Me:
Sorry but if that was the real conversation seems like they were trying really hard to understand and you were trying really hard to confuse them.
i'd try to explain agender first and then be like "there's a smooth gradient between all three things, like colors turning from whatever to whatever else. it's an oversimplification but boomers are simple folk.
or like, ask them what gender some asexually reproducing animal is.
Gonna be honest, even after chilling with yall for like 2 years I still don't fully understand how it works.
What I do find funny is giving gender to things that don't have it- Why are there man and woman cars in the Cars universe?
To help inspire the people that draw dragons and cars fucking.
How are the cishets supposed to know which car to jack off to if they're not gendered? Checkmate, liberals.
If gender is a social construct, then something that interacts socially will be pressured into having a gender?
At least for me, I’m aware that a guy is expected to behave in a number of ways that are deemed “masculine” and I’ve never fit into those characterizations. Only after spending some time on my own for awhile did I realize that a lot of my previous behavior was only the case because I thought it was how I should behave as someone with a dick, not how I wanted to behave. If you think about it, it’s kinda silly to categorize a human as only belonging to two different groups. Intersex people exist too!
But I’m still struggling with what other things could explain that (be it a naturally low sex drive or asexually)
Brains are so weird
I’m aware that a guy is expected to behave in a number of ways that are deemed “masculine” and I’ve never fit into those characterizations
isn't this just buying into gender roles as opposed to rejecting them? I'm a guy who also doesn't fit into all of the 'masculine' stuff, but I think that's pretty normal. where people go wrong is in trying to force themselves into those strict roles. I dunno, I just act like myself and I'm not particularly concerned with whether people think that's masculine or not, and I've never thought that makes me less of a man.
I've never thought that makes me less of a man
Some may argue that.... Maybe it does? And maybe that's fine?
I'm kinda like you where I'm not really concerned with it though. It could be that I'm somewhere between "masculine" and "agender", but where does that intersect with the definition of "nonbinary"?
Ma, remember when you got hired by IBM back in the 70s to punch 0s and 1s into paper cards and got paid a livable wage to buy us a house? Imagine all that, but you also punch 2s on the paper card every now and then.
I do my best to quickly differentiate sex from gender as a biology versus largely social definition and try to mention the examples of a 'third gender' across many cultures before they can reach for a shotgun and Bible.
- Show
transcription
the catholic old white guy asked me to explain lgbtq+ to him and it was honestly kind of funny
"okay! you have 15 seconds to explain non-binary to me if there are only male and female genders"
me: if you lost your genitals would you still feel like a man?
"no"
would you feel like a woman?
"no?"
so you wouldn't feel mail or female
"yeah what's your point?"
So, you wouldn't fit into the gender binary of male or female? :)
him: [reaction gif]
I want to be seen for who I am. Words like man and woman, and the expectations that come with them, do nothing but get in the way of that.
"it means a person who doesnt associate with a specific binary gender aka man/woman. its kinda like a third gender." if they can't understand that it's probably not worth the time because clearly they are fucking stupid.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
