the feds already got him on tax evasion shit and were in the process of extraditing him. like literally what reason would they have to pull on epstien on him, especially in a foreign prison? seems more likely that he was trying to martyrize himself instead of spending what probably would have been the rest of his life in federal prison
he literally killed himself out of commitment to the bit
i mean whomst among us wouldn't try to make themselves look like more of a badass by saying "uhh actually i didn't off myself, it was the feds"
He killed himself as the ultimate shitpost but pretending he got Epsteined is funnier.
US prisons are a crime against humanity, not surprised someone would want to off themselves rather than go to one for the rest of their lives
Apparently he believed in some quantam timeloop suicide nonsense so yeah... He probably tried that.
We're just in the universe he didn't survive, in another timeline as soon as they rushed into his cell he sprang awake and escaped.
He either offed himself or dropped dead. He's 75. It's not that uncommon for a 75 year old to drop dead all of a sudden.
I think most people are joking. Pretty sure he just offed himself.
Just funny that we’ve had two high profile cases of sex pest crazy rich guys dying in jail.
