https://twitter.com/AvishSood/status/1411077521928593410?s=19
Brand Manager
Yet another fake job that pays 10x more than any position that requires actual work.
First you get a job managing social media accounts for a company and then you bullshit your way into better marketing jobs and lie about the details of your degree.
I'm not really joking by much to be honest. There's some elements of understanding marketing, audiences and brands overall but that's fuck easy to pick up by reading the core books everyone recommends and the rest is just layers and layers and layers of bullshit.
Oh I also have a prior background in SEO at least so that's somewhat actually mechanical, analytical and useful. Managing adwords and other marketing products and actually doing it really well with confidence about long-term strategies was a major part of my progression.
I hated it. But am good at it. Ironically the same skills that make you good at marketing (speaking bullshit but doing it persuasively) also make you good at bullshitting enough to progress in the job. Marketing yourself is the same as marketing a product.... Now excuse me while I throw up for writing that last sentence.
This is genuinely helpful, thanks for the detailed reply! Any recs for where I should start first? I was thinking of taking a google analytics class or something.
As good a place as any. You can also genuinely learn a lot by getting into the blackhat online communities, figuring out what the major seo personalities are, and learning from the major companies in the field. My background in SEO was entirely self-employed freelance work through self learning online until I got into a gaming company as a community manager. I was earning fairly well just by being successful on freelance sites, although I was working unheathily massive amounts of time at all hours of the day at a moment's notice in order to get the work before others. Then I got to do it for a gaming company for less money in a shit location. Yay.
It's a Hustle position, so the guy at the top is making 10x more than any position that requires work and everyone below him in the triangle-shaped management hierarchy makes peanuts and mostly just flail about desperately trying to be the guy on the ladder above them.
The King of the Hill episode "Bill of Sales" really nails it.
"A safe spot for people to meet up for a first date"
Isn't most coffee shops already that?
Repackaging something common with meaningless marketing gloss? Capitalists would never!
how many matches do you guys think i'll get in bumble if i put "clorox brand manager" in there
at some point you run out of new uses for bleach and have to start getting really creative to continue increasing revenue
It cleans your house AND you can drink it to prevent covid. Such functionality
I sincerely hope it's just as soulless and nakedly awful as I'm imagining. Nothing but sponsorship mentions. Two or three different grocery subscription boxes. Four web hosting and site building apps. Two video streaming services. Every episode is almost identical.
I dunno what they advertise on podcasts I've never listened to one, I'm completely going off the stereotype
I dunno what they advertise on podcasts
Just listen to the first ten minutes of every Dollop episode and you'll get the full experience.
Or... don't. They make the same amount of money whether you do or not, because their metric is simply #-of-downloads.
Can't wait to see Clorox and Pinesol tweeting about how dirty surfaces are amogus sus
remember when the steakumm account made a giant thread about epistemology? seriously, burn twitter to the ground
It reminds me from that bit from the Simpsons where educational content was produced by Pepsi lol
An app has invented the concept of...going into public and meeting people
Watching Yellowstone with my partner and I've seen someone get beaten with a branding iron at least twice today, lol.
the real question is, can I hang out there if I'm not meeting a bumble date? because it would rule to sit there and channel the collective anxiety into something creative.
If I wanted to go to a corporately run chain of overpriced coffee shops to channel the anxiety of half-a-dozen awkward 20-somethings on a first date, there are no less than three different Starboxes within a mile of my house.
