For the first time in my life I'm actually comfortable, I know I can pay all my bills on time, I've eliminated most of my debt and if an emergency happens it would suck but I have enough saved it wouldn't crush me. I actually have enough money I can do things to improve my quality of life. I've had times in my life where I was homeless and years where the only food I could really afford was rice and beans. I'm just now realizing the scars they've left on me.
I still check dumpsters for salvageable furniture. I have trouble buying cloths aren't second hand or at least on clearance. I can't spend even $15 to see a movie more then once every two or three months. Even though everything is taken care of financially I can never let my self really relax. My wife who went through similar conditions still uses razor blades that are dull enough they cut her because she can't bring her self to spend $4 on on a new blade.
The scars are real and I doubt they'll go away any time soon. I'm sure some of my comrades here have gone through something similar but people who have never been through that level of poverty just can't seem to understand at all. Not sure why but I felt the need to express these feelings to people who actually can understand
When you're poor you learn how to trade comfort for security, even hurting yourself in exchange for capital. Luxury can feel dangerous, even though it's not really luxury at all; it's just normal living.
Also, you should work on some of those habits, but taking furniture out of the dumpster is objectively correct and you shouldn't feel self conscious about it.
Yeah when my wife or I recognize them in the other we try to help, I buy her razors she gets my cloths ect.
That's both sweet and smart. "I'm doing this for my spouse, so I can make a good choice and also relieve them of the burden of obsessing about their own spending."
Not a bad way to look at it. I consider them scars because even though I'm not going through any of those situations any more they still negatively impact me.
Honestly, I had no idea any of the things you listed were necessarily signs of trauma as a result of poverty and now I feel poor as shit because I’ve done it for a long time lol
I think this idea that getting second hand things is a mark of poverty is a really harmful mentality to have in this day and age. Definitely buy new blades but why not use discarded furniture or thift store clothes? And movie ticket prices are insane, fuck that shit.
I get all of my appliances refurbished which is the best way to do it. The part about discarded furniture is nothing I have is really comfortable and most of it has stains or damage; there was a reason they were thrown out in the first place. I don't feel embarrassed about it but I have the money that if I shop smart I could actually have something I enjoy sitting in. I'll always shop clearance cause that's just smart, but I've gone through winter in a shitty coat for a couple years simply because I couldn't find one used that would fit. I'm not embarrassed to live the way I do but I could live much more comfortably if I could get over the idea that spending money on basic quality of life things wasn't frivolous.
That good old work ethic that makes it hard to take break even when you need to.
Same Same.
But there’s nothing wrong with living that way. It’s the way more people should live actually instead of being such consumerist hogs.
And it’s how you keep your money once you have a little. Rich people are the stingiest people on earth. It’s how they stay rich.
And you never know when you things will change and you will run out of money and become desperately poor again. You don’t want that it sucks. Or at least i know that i don’t.
Being poor again is always on my mind, it's not the overwhelming anxiety it used to be but still present enough that I can't relax. Shopping used and refurbished or at least epic sales is obviously smart but forgoing basic quality of life things just because you've learned to live without them seems detrimental.
I feel this.
Lived off less than $5/day (excluding rent) for 2 years. Any item over $8, especially for non-food items, makes me hesitate some time before purchasing. It took a long time to convince myself that a $50/mo unlimited phone plan was worth it over the $35/mo basic plan.
Idk about scars but seeing my iron willed mom beg our landlord not to throw us out on the streets every few months will forever be seared into my mind.
This is really relatable. I grew up poor, was poor through my 20's and just in the last couple of years, with the help of a wonderful partner, we have managed to become comfortable. Even typing that makes me feel scummy. I'm still one medium disaster away from losing it all though. We had a Covid scare at work, and the porspect of not working for two weeks made me want to jump off a fucking bridge
