First a background of events, but I'm not trying to transcript the discussion, I want to ask more about the aftermath. Read here my long winded self indulgent words
Today I was talking to my mom about the Murican response to covid, specifically omicron (we are south Asian immigrants living in 🍔).
I was talking about how it was utterly egregious how the government completely abdicated responsibility for handling the pandemic beyond just saying "we have a massive stash of vaccines we won't share, come get one."
Personally it makes me really angry at how there is no political will to share vaccine patents (in corporate controlled America), and my mom got mad at me and started spouting various liberal media talking points about how we just need to vote and vote harder to beg for incremental change, and Biden and the Democrats really want to help, they just can't, etc etc. And so I got really frustrated at this point and pointed out all the countries with functioning public health systems that handled the pandemic well, most notably China.
And at that point she lost her composure and started yelling at me about how China is a large and destructive imperialist country that wants to conquer territory and dominate the world, and I also lost my composure at just the sheer cruelty of the western corporate run economies sitting on piles of vaccines, you can believe so much in electoralism but who exactly can I :vote: for to share vaccine formulas and production, and I just got quite emotionally overwhelmed by this.
And my mom started telling me about how I was stupid for caring so much and being so emotionally affected by world problems that I can't change, and how I should disengage from reading and studying world current events because I was too emotionally invested in them.
So, the thing is, I think she might be partially right.
She's (and our family by extension) is a well compensated labor aristocrat and we live moderately comfortable lives in suburban America. And I'm finishing up a college degree that basically says "I deserve to stay in the middle class" that will let me get some pointless and soulcrushing corporate yuppie scum job to pay my bills. If we so choose, we do indeed have the privilege of ignoring the outside world and just hyperfocusing on individual career bullshit and our own family, we can just be "apolitical" and just grind for my own future middle class American life.
I get that my mom's view is very individualist; when can an individual ever "change anything" on political scales? Political power exists within organization only. And it seems like the conditions simply don't exist for me to be able to really change anything outside of helping a few people with the meager and comparatively tiny amount of capital I can accumulate from a life of PMC bullshit labor. I can make a few people's lives a little better, but I can't do anything about the barbaric system that dispossesses people and destroys lives.
I know I'm just a self centered petit bourgeois whiny piece of shit whining despite my life being privileged and comfortable that I'm isolated from the life or death day to day nature of politics beyond sympathy and solidarity. As immigrants to this barbaric country that puts its boot upon the global south, we happen to be near the top of the imperial pyramid and reap all these benefits coming from exploited and destroyed lives below us. I feel like I'm being told to just ignore this reality of what the world is, of our position within the world, privileged and isolated from the struggle. My mom yelled at me for not being able to get out of my mind just the awful nature and reality of where we're standing and whose backs we're standing on.
And from a mental health standpoint, yeah it's pragmatic, if you want to be somewhat happy or be a good family member in this depressing ass world. I don't know, when I think about all this, I just feel so directionless, I don't know what reason I have to just go along with this dumb crap of just grinding and working in some job where I will just be oiling some corporate gears on peddling addictive and exploitative technology to poor people, doing nothing actually meaningful for society besides helping some dumb company produce their branded widgets. I spend all this time studying (and the pursuit of knowledge is interesting) but I will be entering the workforce soon, then why am I doing this, who am I doing it for? Family? It is such a depressing and empty world, the number one and largest success of the western system is to just pacify us and relieve us of our ability to do anything but consume, consume meaningless entertainment, consume misery, consume toothless political show of elections, consume hope for socialist politics but with no meaningful organization or power to accomplish much of anything, living in a deeply reactionary place. I study Marxism because I want to understand how the world and economy really works, and I want justice and common prosperity and development for every human. Apparently that ends up being pathological? We live in a sick society in this western country but our mother country is much worse due to western economic imperialism.
What can I do, what should I care about? Am I supposed to just tune out of the happenings and causes of the world and just focus my life on one or two people I love? But what if they leave me, then I have no meaning here.
I hate nihilism, but I feel like I utterly lack power or agency and electoralism people hang on to because it gives them the illusion of having power and something greater than them but in murica they are being duped into endlessly :vote: for the black hole that is the democratic party.
Help, anyone feel similarly, any reflections, thoughts, responses? Scold me, rip me to shreds if you like for being a whiny fuck, sympathize with me, whatever, I just want to hear other people's thoughts.
I was there about six months ago. I get it. There's so much of morality in how one normally approaches their interface with society. You want to do good, but also this is an insane shithole country, and the treats essentially must stop flowing for people to understand this, and still, they likely won't. I'm someone who is also in a position where I could go get a nice paying job in tech in a few years, but won't because my identity makes it very difficult for me to play the game of sucking up to some corporation.
I think the key thing here is that you're allowed to grieve for the world, but it isn't helpful to feel morally responsible for it by benefit of living in the imperial core. Part of the point of a materialist analysis is to move past arguments rooted in moral semantics and analyze the world as it is: a large system of human beings in various societies and cultures that behave different ways due to material reasons, and not because of some innate quality or the inherent inferiority or superiority of their culture. The most moral thing that any kind of principled communism would ask of you is not that you feel this way or that way, but that you unwaveringly act with a proletarian class consciousness.
That doesn't mean you have to go get a job in a coal mine or being brutalized and oppressed if you can avoid it. That means fighting the fight for the worker no matter what position you end up in. Be principled, but if some dipshit capitalist wants to try and give you power, take it and then use it against them.
Also, supposing you have access to such things, therapy and medication have helped a lot in bringing me back from the nihilistic brink. The tendency to individualize the deep evils of capitalism require a lot of sustained self examination and effort to overcome productively.
I think often of the words of Che Guevara about hating injustice wherever it occurs. Spread awareness. Bully your friends into examining their beliefs. A debate over ideology doesn't win comrades. Showing them the receipts of capitalist exploitation again and again and again, and fighting to make a better world possible wins comrades.
And you're doing it not for yourself or your family or your nation. You do it for the future. We will either achieve communism or the common ruin. Humanity evolved out of the strength of sharing our work and food communally. For the sake of humanity, and the international proletariat, we keep going forwards.
Thank you so much for writing that out. One thing:
I think often of the words of Che Guevara about hating injustice wherever it occurs. Spread awareness. Bully your friends into examining their beliefs. A debate over ideology doesn’t win comrades. Showing them the receipts of capitalist exploitation again and again and again, and fighting to make a better world possible wins comrades.
I do tremble at injustice, sometimes to the point where I am temporality just consumed by indignation at the sheer injustice of imperialist capitalism. My mom said that it's childish or whatever to get mad about this because there's nothing I can do. I'm just kind of stunned at how people can compartmentalize their life like that, it's so hard for me to just somehow ignore that context and awareness; ignorance really is bliss. The injustice makes me sad and angry. It really triggers my empathetic feelings and I'm written of as sick and psychological because I am mentally disturbed by this. Why is it seen as my immaturity for me being angered by this? Are they right? Is it really immature to get angry at these systemic injustices because I don't really have any power to fix it? I suppose it's possible they're right from a pragmatic standpoint but we are empathetic, emotional beings, and my commitment to Marxism is because I want to understand the world.
No, they're not right. They're not really trying to be right. Trying to be right involves being self critical, examining the evidence, evaluating it, and seeking out more. The only approach to philosophy that I've ever seen commit to that principle is dialectical materialism.
Something that exacerbated my own struggle was my relationship with my mom. She thinks much the same way as your own mom. She simply refuses to think about the injustice of the world or her place in it because it's disturbing and unsettling. Eventually I just had to realize that changing an older person's ideology doesn't happen overnight, it's not easy, and it might never happen. To most people, their sanity and sense of place and stability will win out over serious objections. I think it's a pretty natural defense mechanism.
The anger and empathy you experience for others isn't at all childish. There's nothing childish about being able to honestly evaluate the cruelty of imperialism and capitalism in a global and historical context and feel the emotional brunt of it. I brought up the Che quote because I feel like the opposite is true. I ultimately became a communist because of and not in spite of my empathy for people. Because I can't just write off the suffering of others. Because I find the idea of learning about how the world works and choosing to make peace with it an unconscionable decision. I've likened the experience of becoming aware of the global cost of the imperial opulence to seeing Cthulhu. Once you've seen a glimpse of the eldritch horror in all it's glory, you just can't unsee it. Liberalism in many ways is an attempt to deny the emotional self for the sake of what is "rational," i.e. simply accepting the system as it exists.
It's helpful to find people in your life that are willing to support your empathy, even if they aren't committed communists of some kind themselves. There are more people, especially young people, than you might think that are open to dreaming of a better world. I'm very lucky to have several close friends that have all been making the same political journey together, and a wife that understands and supports me working through all kinds of stuff, both personal and this sort of larger grieving for the injustice of the present. It's hard though to accept that your parents have a limited view of the world that their mental well-being requires not changing, especially if you still live with them or spend a lot of time with them. Certainly not an envious position.
Joining an org, even if it's not necessarily an explicitly socialist one can be a good way to meet people and connect with like-minded people.
I know I’m just a self centered petit bourgeois whiny piece of shit whining despite my life being privileged and comfortable that I’m isolated from the life or death day to day nature of politics beyond sympathy and solidarity.
As others have said you're on the right side morally, you are also right that you cannot change these destructive institutions alone but that doesn't mean we are entirely powerless. Look around at all the labor mobilization going on right now, donate to strike funds if you can join a picket line if there are any near you.
And lastly don't feel guilt at the material conditions you were born into, you didn't choose that any more than I chose to be born dirt poor.
Yes, I can understand it as a survival instinct of just drowning out your senses to stay sane and grind, but yeah, it's just running away from reality and picking up some nihilist bullshit
Yeah, I guess I’m just disappointed at how vehemently family members I used to look up to for teaching me to seek out justice and be a good, empathetic person, now turn on me now that I am somewhat well read and informed on large scale systemic injustices and analyses of the roots of injustice, now they scream at me for being too emotional and caring too much about it. It has shown me just how limited the liberal mindset is, how tragically, despite being a family of third world immigrants, my family has completely bought into American exceptionalism and imperialism and western chauvinist propaganda.
It makes me wonder what did they really mean about “caring about injustice”? Did they mean for the sake of aesthetics, performatively recognizing that injustice exists? What they get mad at me for is my understanding (built through study of socialist theory) of the roots of these injustices.
And apparently I care too much, and yes I did start crying in indignation talking about how barbaric it is that companies are, as expected, choosing profits over vaccinating the periphery, and our government actively supports that. They’re mad at me for not believing in electoralism and incremental change. I just asked WHO CAN I FUCKING VOTE FOR TO GET PEOPLE IN OUR MOTHER COUNTRY THE FUCKING VACCINE FORMULAS? They have no answer but getting mad at me for being a “conspiracy theorist” because I point out that our government is run by bourgeois interests. God it’s just disappointing that family members I looked up to, our family my parents generation was dirt poor in a third world Asian country, for their sense of justice turned out to be brainwashed democratic party liberals, and my mom said I was as bad as a Trump supporter (to liberals that is the ultimate trashing of your politics) and my mom thinks I’m brainwashed by Chinese propaganda and victim to MISINFORMATION holy fuck
Lots of people join the fight against injustice but only when the injustice is against themselves. Over time you find out who is principled and who is merely opportunistic.
:meow-hug:
I've had similar feelings that I eventually I gave myself permission to let go of.
Not in the sense of being cynical and thinking that those things weren't a problem but in the sense of acknowledging that those thoughts were hurting me.
If you can find some positive action to dump that energy into, that might help the feelings a bit. Even if its small beans local stuff. Feelings of impotence when viewing daunting tasks can be catastrophic to a person's mental health.
My comfort is planning direct action. I haven't executed anything yet, but that's just for a lack of time and resources, which I'm sure are more plentiful for you. Sure, you can't fix everything yourself, but why not try? If you don't at least think about trying, you end up trapped here in this void where you're waiting for someone else to come save you.
This is very relatable but I don't think I have any like solid answers
I can make a few people’s lives a little better, but I can’t do anything about the barbaric system that dispossesses people and destroys lives.
Helping out a few people is plenty good. You can't change the state of the world alone but no one person can
"Don't worry about things you can't change." Is a common thing I hear from people and it comes from a place of fear of losing the small amount of privilege they have. It's the cry of the broken spirit of those under capitalism. Pity them. Don't become them.
There are things you can do. You can become a class traitor. Join leftist orgs, secretly if you have to, donate to leftist causes. Agitate, unionise, use that small amount of power you have to lift up your comrades. Even if it's just something small. You can help. You matter. Remember that you don't have to do it alone. Join a union.
I don’t have anything to offer right now but want to ping this to return to it soon. You’ve put the heart of the alienated political subject within the imperial core into such a well written post. There’s a lot of validity to what you’re feeling here. I feel it too. I wrestle with this constantly. If there is nothing else except for you are utterly, absolutely correct in your ideological pursuit, maybe that’s a small token. You are right and liberals, chuds, etc, they are categorically wrong. Not only that but they’re also deeply immoral and unethical, yet many comprehensively propagandized, people. Maybe I’ll have more to comment when I can soon, but the justice of at least understanding these ideas itself counts for something whereas the opposite counts for nothing
Looking forward to your response later then :meow-hug: take care until then
Get out there and volunteer. It doesn't matter if your contribution is microscopically small, because no one person is SUPPOSED to do it all on their own.
A good Food not Bombs stint leaves you feeling warm and fuzzy inside.
Agitating and 'waking' the people up is always worth an effort, even the smallest of noises and drops of cold water.
You're not alone, you're not wrong, and you're not being "emotional" about it. I have to remind myself of this often.
I get eyerolls from my family when they get me started on this kind of stuff. It makes me feel like I'm crazy. I avoid talking about anything political these days. In some ways it's more isolating, but at least you avoid the conflict and frustration. After covid, a lot of friends and family really revealed themselves to be pretty self centered. It's hard to see people you thought highly of let you down.
I don't think there's any easy solutions to our struggle. I've kind of gone down a road of isolation and nihilism but of course that hasn't brought me much in the way of happiness. It's a bit cozy in a sense, like being in a warm cottage in the middle of a storm, but like you mentioned, it's a privileged way of living, and that cottage is built on the corpses of the global south.
I wish I could be more positive here, but things are fucking bleak. Yeah there are beacons of hope in East Asia and South America, but then with climate change, and the US gov't looking more likely to kill us all than allow itself to be eclipsed by China... Idk... The only comfort left is that privileged comfort of trying not to care until you are forced to.
Yeah, I guess I'm just disappointed at how vehemently family members I used to look up to for teaching me to seek out justice and be a good, empathetic person, now turn on me now that I am somewhat well read and informed on large scale systemic injustices and analyses of the roots of injustice, now they scream at me for being too emotional and caring too much about it. It has shown me just how limited the liberal mindset is, how tragically, despite being a family of third world immigrants, my family has completely bought into American exceptionalism and imperialism and western chauvinist propaganda.
It makes me wonder what did they really mean about "caring about injustice"? Did they mean for the sake of aesthetics, performatively recognizing that injustice exists? What they get mad at me for is my understanding (built through study of socialist theory) of the roots of these injustices.
And apparently I care too much, and yes I did start crying in indignation talking about how barbaric it is that companies are, as expected, choosing profits over vaccinating the periphery, and our government actively supports that. They're mad at me for not believing in electoralism and incremental change. I just asked WHO CAN I FUCKING VOTE FOR TO GET PEOPLE IN OUR MOTHER COUNTRY THE FUCKING VACCINE FORMULAS? They have no answer but getting mad at me for being a "conspiracy theorist" because I point out that our government is run by bourgeois interests. God it's just disappointing that family members I looked up to for their sense of justice turned out to be brainwashed democratic party liberals, and my mom said I was as bad as a Trump supporter (to liberals that is the ultimate trashing of your politics) and my mom thinks I'm brainwashed by Chinese propaganda and victim to MISINFORMATION holy fuck
I imagine as immigrants whose lives were probably made much better by moving to the US, it is hard for them to condemn the country that in their eyes helped them. There could also be pride / ego in the fact that they accomplished something very difficult. Immigrating to a new country, learning a new language, a new culture, and succeeding, is no small feat. It should be celebrated. I don't know if you' ve considered that perspective but it could help explain their attitude about things.
I've dealt with a lot of the same with my family. They generally agree a change in system would be a good thing, but in typical succdem fashion they champion this by... Supporting run of the mill Libs, sanctions on every country actually trying a change in system, etc. etc.
I think people get set in their ways after a certain age, and that's why revolutions and political / cultural changes are associated with the youth. It's sad to think that they won't come around, but I know they mean the best and at this point I'm fine leaving it at that.
Ah yeah that perspective makes a lot of sense. It is also well demonstrated by something my mom frequently says, that u should not "talk bad things" about corporation because that is ungrateful because they enabled our middle class lives.
As Marxists we know this is obviously some misplaced gratitude and really some hot air false consciousness, but I think it is indicative of the roots of their liberal mindsets; perhaps the struggles and hardships they lived through before immigrating to 🍔 were enough to pacify them into the white liberal PMC framework. Ironically it is me, their child who grew up in relative comfort and was spared from a fraction of their suffering in poverty, that is interested in working class politics. Am I just a hypocrite to be this way? I have been sheltered and protected by my parents luck to get professional tech jobs in 🍔, and despite that I am deeply disturbed by injustice I perceive and identify via the analytical tools of socialist theory.
You are not a hypocrite. Caring about oppression is not just for the most oppressed. None of us fully understand what we're missing out on by living in a society as depraved as this one.
Nor is it imperative that you relinquish any of your personal economic position. If you have a career path, that's something that will give you some power in life, and a little bit is better than none. You don't have power to fix the world, but you can be a part of the solution. That might mean a party, it might mean a union, it might mean a commune, it might mean a conservation group or mutual aid network, it might mean direct action. What it definitely means, at a basic level, is that anywhere that is the domain of sevenvases is a place where ethics are strong and where people are cared about.
I have had a lot of twists and turns in my life thus far, and I make considerably less than the median household income, but I still support multiple people, donate to organizations, and on top of that I am able to store up material wealth towards building alternatives to capitalism. You will have the ability to do all of the above but probably even better than I have.
