Attractiveness really does matter when it comes to getting dates. Lots of dating advice say's "personality is the most important thing" which is true for a relationship but it is vastly easier to get a first date if you're good looking
A good personality can absolutely level someone up "by 4 points" (I hate the 10 point scale shit but w/e).
The issue with it is that you have to have to be extroverted, gregarious, and personable as a baseline, not just a "good and nice person" if you want to redeem those points. Never going to happen for me, and I would guess that 90% of this site is "introvert nerds" who will need to rely on conventional attractiveness for the most part.
It's still important to be "good, caring, and nice" and all that since you'll start losing attractiveness really quick without those things. They may even be a single bonus "point" in there, but social skills are much more powerful.
Maybe I'm just built different, but that's not how it works at all for me. It's not appearance, it's my perception of who they are that determines how attracted I am to someone. Appearance often determines how I perceive someone, especially if I don't know much about them, but in those cases additional information can very quickly change things. And when appearance is enough for my brain to know if I'm interested or not, it's doesn't seem to line up with what is considered traditionally attractive at all.
Like often I can't tell if I'm attracted to someone from just a picture. I have to see a video or see them in person, I need more context. Habits and mannerisms are a huge part of what makes someone immediately attractive to me. And if someone displays certain personality traits I will immediately lose all interest and be unable to think of them as attractive ever again.
I've spoken to many people online and a few in person who have similar experiences, but I don't know how common that is exactly.
Hmmm, idk. As someone who grew up as a “girl,” my appearance was (and still is sometimes!) policed way more by the women in my life than it was by the men (the men also did some policing, just not as much).
i see what you mean, i guess i mostly meant when looking for a relationship women are more accepting of "flaws" and men tend to be more shallow. i understand what you mean about "girls" being mean to each other, i mostly saw that secondhand via my sister and her friends. they did seem to have fights that would rotate through the group.
attractiveness def helps getting the initial date, but personality is what will be the deciding factor of whether you're just a hookup or short fling, or something substantial (for most people).
I've pulled some pretty hot guys who had shit attitudes and personalities and I would never date them long term because we are just not on the same page.
Attractiveness really does matter when it comes to getting dates. Lots of dating advice say's "personality is the most important thing" which is true for a relationship but it is vastly easier to get a first date if you're good looking
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Personality is what makes people attractive.
No it isn't lol
It is to me
A good personality can absolutely level someone up "by 4 points" (I hate the 10 point scale shit but w/e).
The issue with it is that you have to have to be extroverted, gregarious, and personable as a baseline, not just a "good and nice person" if you want to redeem those points. Never going to happen for me, and I would guess that 90% of this site is "introvert nerds" who will need to rely on conventional attractiveness for the most part.
It's still important to be "good, caring, and nice" and all that since you'll start losing attractiveness really quick without those things. They may even be a single bonus "point" in there, but social skills are much more powerful.
Maybe I'm just built different, but that's not how it works at all for me. It's not appearance, it's my perception of who they are that determines how attracted I am to someone. Appearance often determines how I perceive someone, especially if I don't know much about them, but in those cases additional information can very quickly change things. And when appearance is enough for my brain to know if I'm interested or not, it's doesn't seem to line up with what is considered traditionally attractive at all.
Like often I can't tell if I'm attracted to someone from just a picture. I have to see a video or see them in person, I need more context. Habits and mannerisms are a huge part of what makes someone immediately attractive to me. And if someone displays certain personality traits I will immediately lose all interest and be unable to think of them as attractive ever again.
I've spoken to many people online and a few in person who have similar experiences, but I don't know how common that is exactly.
i think overall that women are more accepting of other peoples physical "flaws" than men.
Hmmm, idk. As someone who grew up as a “girl,” my appearance was (and still is sometimes!) policed way more by the women in my life than it was by the men (the men also did some policing, just not as much).
i see what you mean, i guess i mostly meant when looking for a relationship women are more accepting of "flaws" and men tend to be more shallow. i understand what you mean about "girls" being mean to each other, i mostly saw that secondhand via my sister and her friends. they did seem to have fights that would rotate through the group.
There are very few objectively ugly people. Most of attractiveness is hygiene, styling, and personality.
This 100%. A shower and a haircut make a big difference.
attractiveness def helps getting the initial date, but personality is what will be the deciding factor of whether you're just a hookup or short fling, or something substantial (for most people).
I've pulled some pretty hot guys who had shit attitudes and personalities and I would never date them long term because we are just not on the same page.