Hey this is for all you cis folks out there. Shits really bleak right now for trans people, and not just because of this whole reddit crap. Republicans are gearing up to pass some really heinous laws that do things like coercively de-transition trans kids, make being a trans teachers illegal, making it so that you cant legally change government docs documents, the list goes on and on. Things are really really really exhausting, and as much as many of us are big fighters, others of us are barely getting by both materially and emotionally. Like I am pretty materially comfortable and 2 years into my transition and even I am pretty worn out by the world, it is like 1000% worse for baby trans and trans people who aren't as lucky as me.

So I am asking you, if you yourselves have the mental and physical means, stand up for us in any way you can. Even if you cant do anything in the real world, if its just calling out shit and bullying transphobes online, every little bit helps make things easier. We need you comrades.

  • MsUltraViolet [she/her]
    ·
    3 years ago

    The whole reddit situation is reinforcement to me, a pre-hrt trans woman, that I must display extreme femininity - in physique, clothing, style, voice, etc. - at all times, or else I can't really expect people to gender me correctly or view me as a woman.

    I can't tell you how many comments I've seen saying, in reference to that mod "that's a man. Why should I have to refer to them as a woman when they look nothing like one. I'm not pretending they're a woman."

    • SuperNovaCouchGuy [any]
      ·
      3 years ago

      I can’t tell you how many comments I’ve seen saying, in reference to that mod “that’s a man. Why should I have to refer to them as a woman when they look nothing like one. I’m not pretending they’re a woman.”

      It fills me with an indescribable rage when shitlicking brainless fucking rightoid/liberaloid scum act as if the have more than 4 braincells and personally have a holistic understanding about the vast complexities of human gender/sexuality, better than that of modern science, just as an excuse to be a fucking bigoted loser to innocent people, there is really nothing more to it, they don't know shit.

      • MsUltraViolet [she/her]
        ·
        3 years ago

        It just seems a vast majority of cis people, even those that consider themselves open minded or accepting, are only willing to accept or correctly gender trans people if they are indistinguishable from cis people

        • Tapirs10 [undecided,she/her]
          ·
          3 years ago

          if you misgender someone unintentionally then be like "oops sorry I'll do better in the future" and correctly address them next time not double down and get transphobic. Not hard to get

          • GiveMeSickos [they/them]
            ·
            3 years ago

            I tell cis boomers, "You ever forget someone's name? It's awkward. You apologize and move on. You've probably misgendered a cis person before by accident. You apologize and move on. Nice and quick. It doesn't have to be a huge deal."

            • Tapirs10 [undecided,she/her]
              ·
              3 years ago

              Yeah it's not hard. I am a cis dude and I used to have long hair when I was like 12 or so and occasionally got called a girl by some people. Obviously it's not the same as trans experiences but it's not hard to not be a dick about it.

              • GreenTeaRedFlag [any]
                ·
                3 years ago

                people misgender me because I have long hair and let my voice go up and down when I talk. nothing outside the most bog[standard gender works for some people.

            • Neckbeard_Prime [they/them,he/him]
              ·
              3 years ago

              I pretty much had this conversation with my mother last month. Her tenant-boyfriend's college-aged kid who lives with them came out as transmasc, and my mother keeps deadnaming and misgendering the poor dude. I called her out on it, and she bleated out a complaint along the lines of, "why do I have to be responsible for remembering a new name and pronouns all the time? Why is it such a big deal to [him]? Can't [he] just grow some thicker skin already?" My response was, "I dunno, DAD, why would you hate being misgendered all the time in your own home?" She changed the subject after that, but not before I implored her to read some Leslie goddamned Feinberg.

              I might as well be pissing in the wind when trying to get anything to stick in her lead fume-addled neocortex, but yeah. :im-doing-my-part:, I guess. Fighting transphobic gaslighting one boomer family member at a time.

        • VernetheJules [they/them]
          ·
          3 years ago

          Same thing happens if the trans person isn't one they agree with or something, in which case they basically view pronouns as a privilege which they get to bestow and revoke on trans people

          Like fuck offfff with that "you don't deserve my respect"

          :meow-knife-trans:

        • Mike_Penis [any]
          ·
          3 years ago

          I think it's honestly whether they find them attractive or not. attractive women, and attractive people in general, are treated better than people deemed unattractive.

          • CrimsonSage [any]
            ·
            3 years ago

            This is literally true in a really sickening sense. Not even 20 years ago it wasn't an uncommon baseline psychiatric guideline to not provide medical transition related care to a trans woman unless the therapist felt that she would "pass" as cis with medical intervention. This is because it was basic treatment protocol that trans people, especially women, had to promise to go stealth, break off all contact with friends and family and abandon your old self completely, refusing this was grounds for denial of treatment. So yeah basically a trans woman had to pass a 'boner test' to get treatment. In the past 20 years a lot has changed and there are no longer barriers to treatment in most states, and therapy is considered an accompaniment to healthy treatment not a prerequisite. But yeah that's the world fascists want to push us back into at best.

    • Des [she/her, they/them]
      ·
      3 years ago

      feels. makes me want to crawl back deeply into the egg. pre-hrt too and want to be like "fuck it i'm too old it's too late"

      • Mardoniush [she/her]
        ·
        3 years ago

        A lot of older Gays went through the same thing. Look at Ian McKellan.

        Come out whenever you feel comfortable doing so and fuck the Chuds and TERFs.

        • LezGirl [she/her]
          ·
          3 years ago

          Older gays aren't fighting biology though. Older trans people are. Transitioning in an older body sucks.

          • Mardoniush [she/her]
            ·
            3 years ago

            Absolutely, I'm not trying to dismiss the additional issues adult trans people have.

            I'm just saying, it's ok to wait no matter the reason, and also you're never too old if it's what you need to do. You're not less Trans or less accepted by the LGBT community.

            There are plenty of trans people who've not realised until their 40s and 50s and later. I've never seen anyone regret transitioning regardless of age.

    • kristina [she/her]
      ·
      3 years ago

      :soviet-heart:

      i personally started to male fail around 2 yrs hrt. i had a similar sort of vibe, i was scared of inconveniencing people or being a target, so i didnt ask people to be careful with pronouns until i started passing even while not trying. then i just got annoyed at people cause like, every random person is on the memo at this point, why cant the fucks i know get it right?

      like i got a looker of a straight cis bf, like, a man's man straight guy, yet SOME assholes in my life still cant figure it out after 10 years. its just fucking inevitable unfortunately

    • GreenTeaRedFlag [any]
      ·
      3 years ago

      what's the reddit situation? I don't use the nazi site anymore and haven't been as online the last few days.

      • Nephron [he/him]
        ·
        3 years ago

        the anti work mod that went on Fox is a trans woman

        • GreenTeaRedFlag [any]
          ·
          3 years ago

          :lenin-confused: a reddit mod went on the news? fox news? what happened and why? critical support to the mod for being able to put up with everything it had to have taken to get there.