Hey this is for all you cis folks out there. Shits really bleak right now for trans people, and not just because of this whole reddit crap. Republicans are gearing up to pass some really heinous laws that do things like coercively de-transition trans kids, make being a trans teachers illegal, making it so that you cant legally change government docs documents, the list goes on and on. Things are really really really exhausting, and as much as many of us are big fighters, others of us are barely getting by both materially and emotionally. Like I am pretty materially comfortable and 2 years into my transition and even I am pretty worn out by the world, it is like 1000% worse for baby trans and trans people who aren't as lucky as me.
So I am asking you, if you yourselves have the mental and physical means, stand up for us in any way you can. Even if you cant do anything in the real world, if its just calling out shit and bullying transphobes online, every little bit helps make things easier. We need you comrades.
The whole reddit situation is reinforcement to me, a pre-hrt trans woman, that I must display extreme femininity - in physique, clothing, style, voice, etc. - at all times, or else I can't really expect people to gender me correctly or view me as a woman.
I can't tell you how many comments I've seen saying, in reference to that mod "that's a man. Why should I have to refer to them as a woman when they look nothing like one. I'm not pretending they're a woman."
I can’t tell you how many comments I’ve seen saying, in reference to that mod “that’s a man. Why should I have to refer to them as a woman when they look nothing like one. I’m not pretending they’re a woman.”
It fills me with an indescribable rage when shitlicking brainless fucking rightoid/liberaloid scum act as if the have more than 4 braincells and personally have a holistic understanding about the vast complexities of human gender/sexuality, better than that of modern science, just as an excuse to be a fucking bigoted loser to innocent people, there is really nothing more to it, they don't know shit.
It just seems a vast majority of cis people, even those that consider themselves open minded or accepting, are only willing to accept or correctly gender trans people if they are indistinguishable from cis people
if you misgender someone unintentionally then be like "oops sorry I'll do better in the future" and correctly address them next time not double down and get transphobic. Not hard to get
I tell cis boomers, "You ever forget someone's name? It's awkward. You apologize and move on. You've probably misgendered a cis person before by accident. You apologize and move on. Nice and quick. It doesn't have to be a huge deal."
Yeah it's not hard. I am a cis dude and I used to have long hair when I was like 12 or so and occasionally got called a girl by some people. Obviously it's not the same as trans experiences but it's not hard to not be a dick about it.
people misgender me because I have long hair and let my voice go up and down when I talk. nothing outside the most bog[standard gender works for some people.
I pretty much had this conversation with my mother last month. Her tenant-boyfriend's college-aged kid who lives with them came out as transmasc, and my mother keeps deadnaming and misgendering the poor dude. I called her out on it, and she bleated out a complaint along the lines of, "why do I have to be responsible for remembering a new name and pronouns all the time? Why is it such a big deal to [him]? Can't [he] just grow some thicker skin already?" My response was, "I dunno, DAD, why would you hate being misgendered all the time in your own home?" She changed the subject after that, but not before I implored her to read some Leslie goddamned Feinberg.
I might as well be pissing in the wind when trying to get anything to stick in her lead fume-addled neocortex, but yeah. :im-doing-my-part:, I guess. Fighting transphobic gaslighting one boomer family member at a time.
Same thing happens if the trans person isn't one they agree with or something, in which case they basically view pronouns as a privilege which they get to bestow and revoke on trans people
Like fuck offfff with that "you don't deserve my respect"
:meow-knife-trans:
I think it's honestly whether they find them attractive or not. attractive women, and attractive people in general, are treated better than people deemed unattractive.
This is literally true in a really sickening sense. Not even 20 years ago it wasn't an uncommon baseline psychiatric guideline to not provide medical transition related care to a trans woman unless the therapist felt that she would "pass" as cis with medical intervention. This is because it was basic treatment protocol that trans people, especially women, had to promise to go stealth, break off all contact with friends and family and abandon your old self completely, refusing this was grounds for denial of treatment. So yeah basically a trans woman had to pass a 'boner test' to get treatment. In the past 20 years a lot has changed and there are no longer barriers to treatment in most states, and therapy is considered an accompaniment to healthy treatment not a prerequisite. But yeah that's the world fascists want to push us back into at best.
feels. makes me want to crawl back deeply into the egg. pre-hrt too and want to be like "fuck it i'm too old it's too late"
A lot of older Gays went through the same thing. Look at Ian McKellan.
Come out whenever you feel comfortable doing so and fuck the Chuds and TERFs.
Older gays aren't fighting biology though. Older trans people are. Transitioning in an older body sucks.
Absolutely, I'm not trying to dismiss the additional issues adult trans people have.
I'm just saying, it's ok to wait no matter the reason, and also you're never too old if it's what you need to do. You're not less Trans or less accepted by the LGBT community.
There are plenty of trans people who've not realised until their 40s and 50s and later. I've never seen anyone regret transitioning regardless of age.
:soviet-heart:
i personally started to male fail around 2 yrs hrt. i had a similar sort of vibe, i was scared of inconveniencing people or being a target, so i didnt ask people to be careful with pronouns until i started passing even while not trying. then i just got annoyed at people cause like, every random person is on the memo at this point, why cant the fucks i know get it right?
like i got a looker of a straight cis bf, like, a man's man straight guy, yet SOME assholes in my life still cant figure it out after 10 years. its just fucking inevitable unfortunately
what's the reddit situation? I don't use the nazi site anymore and haven't been as online the last few days.
:lenin-confused: a reddit mod went on the news? fox news? what happened and why? critical support to the mod for being able to put up with everything it had to have taken to get there.
Transphobia just shows how bereft of any kind of real solutions the modern US right wing is. Trans people are a vanishingly small amount of the population, what is repressing them even meant to fucking solve :thinking-about-it:
I guess I just forget these people think that you can contract the Gay and that the Gay can be developed, which is....magical thinking I guess.
spoiler
protip if you got turned gay by da joooooooooz (:frothingfash:) you were already gay to begin with
Copying a comment I made a year back that was itself a copypaste from another comrade.
A trans comrade put it this way
homophobia and transphobia are both constructed on the foundation of misogyny;
homophobia: fucking men is a womanly activity, therefore men who fuck men are acting like women, and women are bad, therefore gay men are bad. |¦| fucking women is a manly activity, therefore women who fuck women are acting like men, therefore reaching above their station and usurping men as the ruling gender
Transphobia: the gender divide is to be seen as immutable law, else it cannot oppress. To seek escape from this arbitrary assignment (whether within or without the confines of the male/female dichotomy; see: binary trans men, binary trans women, or NB people) is to question its validity as a whole, and thus threatens its divisive power. These are also corollaries to the homophobia principles; since gender is to be seen as immutable, (men who would ask to be seen as women ¦ women who would ask to be seen as men) must be treated as exceptionally abhorrent
Its really about children. They view their children as property that belongs to them and should be as they want them to be. Happy and successful queer people in general threaten that because they give young queers among their children positive role models. The idea is to make being queer have such a high social stigma and cost that their children will stay good cis hets and have good white babies for their parents like they are supposed to as their property. For a lot of the law's focused on children the abuse is the point. They want these children to be abuse, and they want other children to abuse them to keep all the other kids in line. The abuse and violence is the point of all this, they know they really cant get rid of us we continue to keep existing in spite of oppression and violence throughout history, just like lynching wasn't about killing all black people it was keeping them all int heir place.
This is exactly how it is with my Dad. To him I will always be a disappointing son.
Actually I'm really enjoying the fact that I took his son away from him. I fucking killed him the poor bastard.
:meow-knife-trans:
I am sorry comrade. You are infinitely better being you for yourself than someone else for someone who never fully loved you. :cat-trans:
this really is it. its disgusting, truly so fucking disgusting....
we cant be allowing those evil transgenderites to force surgeries on our kids, only WE'RE able to do that with circumcision
and of course no trans person wants surgeries on kids. the whole thing is about choice and respecting your kids
And like if we're being bullied in public, even indirectly ffs say something
It's unacceptable how often I've been subjected to very obvious harassment and hostility from strangers in a public space only for bystanders to meekly turn their heads and pretend they didn't notice. That shouldn't be a norm in a community that claims to support me. That support apparently ends whenever it would involve actually personally doing something to prevent transphobia.
I wish I could do more tbh. The only trans person I even know of IRL is a lady who comes to the gym I work at. We've had to terminate at least one person's membership because they were upset she used the correct locker room. And like, it's cool we can do that and all, but it probably doesn't make the environment feel much less hostile. Cause, of course, it might just happen again. Difficult to imagine how I could help prevent that.
If workers had any sort of say over their workplaces, I'd say putting up a snarky sign would piss off the correct people and stop them from coming around, but if it's a chain I know that's not really in the cards
Yup, that's what I was thinking. If it were up to me there'd just be a sign that said "Transphobes, fuck off" but I don't think we'd get a lot of business in my area after that lol
Edit: of course that sign would be right next to the one that says "communism will win" and also the one that says "[redacted] the [redacted]"
Not letting transphobia slide is the very least we can do and I hope we're all together on this
I'll call it out wherever I see it :rosa-salute:
Honestly I'm frustrated by my inability to network. I spend a fair amount of time in trans spaces online and have put more time into de-worming my brain on this particular form of bigotry than any other. I'm decently close with nearly a dozen trans people irl, which given the population of my town makes me very unusual. I'm very passionate about supporting my trans comrades. But in terms of material support, I just don't always know what to do. I see y'all constantly keep tabs on who's got a hormone stockpile and who's willing to share them with someone whose insurance company is fucking with them yet again. I'm lucky to live in a state where medical transition isn't yet explicitly criminalized. I don't think it's a longshot to imagine a near future in which trans people are smuggled out of the United States as political refugees. I would be happy to lend a spare bedroom and put my body on the line to make that journey as safe as possible. I just don't have a clue how to offer that in any sort of reasonable manner.
imo if some trans people you know have it rough just let them know that if shit is fucked for them at some point, say youll let them crash on a couch or give them a really cheap room or something. i personally have helped a good number of people this way. i have like 3 couches with fold outs so people can take their pick. had one guy crash at our place for 2 months, was in a pseudo-homeless situation, and was able to afford top surgery from staying with us cause he had few expenses. dude sends me thank you boxes with cute little gifts in them like 5 times a year now that hes in a good spot
Recently I've been gaslighting my elderly co-workers when they misgender trans girl customers. Not that people such as that are capable of doubt.
I haven't confirmed, but I'm pretty sure my coworker and first real trans friend quit because some snotnosed kid in back of house constantly referred to her with masculine spanish articles. This was after multiple corrections & clearly making the feminine article distinction with cis women. She's in a much better job now and I think I understand why she didn't want to start shit, but I kind of want to talk to her about it since that kid still gets on my fucking nerves.
also, sounds dumb, but give your trans friends money.
either they need it, or they absolutely know someone who needs it.
hey it's me im trans friends
(no im not i'm a random person on the internet i could be a fucking fed for all you know)
You don't even have to tell me twice
Last person who tried to fuck with my buddy in town ended up losing his business
I can't take all the credit, but everyone seeing how much of a goddamn aggro-crag he was really did a number on his reputation
I dont know if that is in any planned laws, but I imagine many jurisdictions retain change records. What is in that I dont know. I know that, for example, in Tennessee you cant get your old info removed from your birth certificate, they just strike through the old info and write the correction next to it. One of my closest friends is trying to find her way around that bullshit right now.
