English Kings named Charles and dying due to their own stubbornness - name a better duo.

  • Parsani [love/loves, comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    11 months ago

    We're in fucking 1320 motherfucker.

    The King is ailing and needs herbs and potions to keep him alive. The taxes are going up and your children are being requisitioned by the Crown.

    But also critical support to the king and the pepto bismol he thinks will help.

  • footfaults
    ·
    edit-2
    30 days ago

    deleted by creator

  • Utter_Karate [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    11 months ago

    Would his majesty be interested in the traditional royal treatment of being fed a solution of powdered lead and mercury (the royal metal!) by some kind of court appointed alchemist/astrologer?

    • Dꫀꪑꪮꪀᥴ᥅ꪖᥴꪗ@lemmygrad.ml
      ·
      11 months ago

      royal treatment of being fed a solution of powdered lead and mercury

      I looked this up and

      In Chinese alchemy, elixir poisoning refers to the toxic effects from elixirs of immortality that contained metals and minerals such as mercury and arsenic. The official Twenty-Four Histories record numerous Chinese emperors, nobles, and officials who died from taking elixirs to prolong their lifespans. The first emperor to die from elixir poisoning was likely Qin Shi Huang (d. 210 BCE) and the last was the Yongzheng Emperor (d. 1735 CE). Despite common knowledge that immortality potions could be deadly, fangshi and Daoist alchemists continued the elixir-making practice for two millennia.

      Based alchemists disguising killing the parasiting ruling class as feeding into their fear of death.

    • ComradeChairmanKGB@lemmygrad.ml
      ·
      11 months ago

      Someone should inform him of the traditional guillotine treatment. Very effective for royals.

      If you separate the head then the ass cancer can't reach the brain 🤔

  • FumpyAer [any, comrade/them]
    ·
    11 months ago

    Critical support to the King in his desire to off himself by refusing the finest medical treatment in the world.

  • ButtBidet [he/him]
    ·
    11 months ago

    Wow so Charles banknotes are gonna be a rarity in a few years.

  • QuillcrestFalconer [he/him]
    ·
    11 months ago

    Chemotherapy is fucking awful and I understand why someone might not want to do it, and these days there might be alternatives, specially if you have the resources of the British monarchy.

    At any rate, I hope the cancer wins.

    • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
      ·
      11 months ago

      Norm MacDonald may be shitty but he did manage to be funny so to paraphrase 'really the best cancer can hope for is a draw '

    • hamid@startrek.website
      ·
      edit-2
      11 months ago

      It means at his age the only thing cancer treatment can do is prolong your 5 year survival without regard to quality of life. Nothing he will do at this point will really prolong his life further than it has gone and taking chemo will undoubtedly ruin the last few years and chances are chemo doesn't work and you die near-term anyway. Oncology has pitiful success rates.

      • Saeculum [he/him, comrade/them]
        ·
        11 months ago

        I have family that got cancer around 75, had chemo and lived another 15 years, and that was treatment on the NHS, not the best care money can buy.

        • hamid@startrek.website
          ·
          11 months ago

          Absolutely an edge case and not typical of anyone's experience. Several of my family members are dead after painful chemo in their 50s

          • Saeculum [he/him, comrade/them]
            ·
            11 months ago

            It's an outlier sure, but it's not tremendously unlikely. 61% of men diagnosed with cancer at 75 survive at least 5 years.

            • hamid@startrek.website
              ·
              11 months ago

              I simply do not believe that first statistic that you googled from a Finnish study. 80 is over the median age of most people. Now if you are King Charles and you are probably going to die in 5 - 10 years anyway do you want to spend your last 5 years extremely sick getting poisoned by chemo or do you want to spend it doped up on drugs having everything you can possibly want while you get to be the king you waited for 75 years to be then meet the inevitable anyway?

              • Saeculum [he/him, comrade/them]
                ·
                11 months ago

                80 is over the median age of most people

                Sure, but if you make it to 75, you are considerably more likely to make it to 80 than the median person.

                The median person also does not have parents that each made it to their late 90s, or access to the world's best medicine.

                • hamid@startrek.website
                  ·
                  10 months ago

                  And you really think someone who has the best medicine in the would choose to not treat because they are dumb dumbs or because they probably know its useless to treat? If I were him I wouldn't take chemo either after watching what it did to my sister in her 50s.

  • GenderIsOpSec [she/her]
    ·
    11 months ago

    the person playing Crusader Kings on this family clearly decided it was time to get a younger king on the throne

      • Tankiedesantski [he/him]
        ·
        11 months ago

        Last game I played I ended up creating a matriarchal queedom of amazonian geniuses out of Africa and invaded Europe.

        Good game, 10/10

        They probably patched whatever mechanism allowed me to get so many successive generations of superwomen though.

    • PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml
      ·
      11 months ago

      Imagine playing such plebeian triplebastardised branch of a branch of a cadet branch with name such as Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. It's almost as bad as Karlings.

      • Saeculum [he/him, comrade/them]
        ·
        11 months ago

        Worse than the Karlings, with Victoria's offspring, they got their claws into pretty much every monarchy on the continent .

        • PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml
          ·
          edit-2
          11 months ago

          Karlings at least had the decency to die off and this Saxony infestation is now officially worse than even Habsburgs. And imagine all the illegitimate kids they had, Augustus the Strong alone had something like 100 kids. Every German is probably now one of them.

  • Llituro [he/him, they/them]
    ·
    11 months ago

    idk, critical support to the king for slowly and painfully killing himself unnecessarily.

  • DyingOfDeBordom [none/use name]
    ·
    11 months ago

    isn't he like 98 years old or some shit, like at some point I feel like you gotta do the math and figure out if fucking up all the cellular replication in your body and all the consequent fun side effects of that is worth getting rid of a cancer that might not even kill you for another 5+ years

    anyway hope he does the chemo and dies anyway fuck im

      • mar_k [he/him]
        ·
        11 months ago

        Damn and Liz died at 96/ Phillip at 99, if he lives as long his parents (very doubtful) he'd be king til 2045-2050

  • axont [she/her, comrade/them]
    ·
    11 months ago

    Hear ye hear ye our King hath consul from the finest Apothecary in all the lands. A great many tinctures and potions shall restore our great monarch