This pandemic has really fucking sucked, man. I was starting to make plans to come out of my shell and be more social right before COVID hit, then immediately put off those plans once it had spread throughout the US.
For the last two years, I have been living with my family and being incredibly cautious, i.e. no traveling, no gathering in large crowds, no indoor dining, etc.--basically spending the overwhelming majority of my time at home. I still haven't gotten COVID (to my knowledge), but the pandemic has taken a toll on my mental health, pretty much from being so lonely and having a virtually non-existent social life. I mean I obviously saw my family every day and always appreciate their company, but save for seeing friends a few times, I have had almost no interaction otherwise, y'know?
Now that I'm finally moved out of my parents and living on my own, I feel comfortable enough to finally start thinking about dating for the first time in my life. I just started downloading some free dating apps (which, LOL, so much shit is behind a paywall, even basic features that should be free like filtering--yay, capitalism!). But like I can't imagine that most people would be willing to put up with me not wanting to eat indoors or go to a bar because of me not wanting to take my mask off (does anyone with lots of dating experience right now know if this caution about indoors stuff is common?). Taking your mask off indoors in a public place is probably the easiest way to get COVID, but I also feel like dining at a restaurant, getting a cup of coffee, seeing a movie, etc. are fundamental to the dating experience. Obviously outdoor dining options exist, but that might not always be the best option, weather permitting.
To this point, I've been taking all this precaution because I'm still afraid of COVID and long COVID in particular scares the shit out of me (as an aside, does anyone know if other diseases also exhibit/exhibited similar long-term effects?). I'm not even immunocompromised or anything, just sounds like some awful stuff to have to deal with.
But at the same time, I hate being so atomized and the toll it has on my mental health, largely as a result of all this caution. I'm certainly not getting any younger (27), our sociopathic leaders of the western world are clearly content to just let this shit rip and eschew even the most basic precautions, and the most :doomer: side of me thinks that things in America are going to get much, much worse in the not-so-distant future, maybe even before the end of the decade. For those reasons, I'm feeling like it's becoming increasingly useless to wrap myself in bubble wrap and watching my life pass by, and that I should just try to live a relatively normal life with what youth I have left, even if it significantly increases my chance of getting :covid-cool: and any nasty repercussions from that. And hell, who knows, maybe this virus will get even more ridiculously contagious that one-way mask wearing will become completely useless.
Anyone have any advice or been trying to come to terms with similar thoughts?
I spent the last 10 years too depressed and poor to do anything, and now that I can finally afford to be alive, the world has gone to shit, inflation is skyrocketing and I realized the damage is done and at best I feel nothing.
Hate seeing answers in this of all places that are indistinguishable from the fucking christian death cult grandma condescending in the middle of 2020 about how masks make you feel remote from others. "The damage to your mental health is worse" no you fucking fool. Dead is fucking dead. Being disabled for a lifetime isn't an abstract thing when it happens to you. See what your mental health is like once you realize you've been trying to tie your shoes for 15 minutes and still can't figure it out. Really grapple with what it must feel like to die putting all your strength into breathing and coming up short.
No. I'm not going to fucking go through that for a goddamned fucking treat.
Yeah that's true, obviously there's a lot about long COVID and cognitive impairment, and I'm sure a lot of other horrific shit we won't learn about for years. I think another commentator made a good point too about how anyone not respecting my aversion for high-risk areas/behavior isn't worth my time.
I bet there are other people who are also in a similar boat as me or they have high-risk family members. Might just have to look a little harder. In the meantime, I probably just need to get my ass out of the house more often and seek activities or groups that do shit outside.
Thanks for your perspective.
unless you got some higher end stuff, masks stop you infecting others not you being safe from them, still wear it because not infecting other people is good but yeah. p much anything you do is a disease vector when going outside, and nobody else seems to give much of a shit mitigating their own impact, so there's only so much you can do as an individual to keep yourself safe when others don't. I don't have an answer for you, I work and take public transport every day so it's kinda impossible to truly be safe, so I've kinda given less of a shit about me personally getting infected tbh, I think you just gotta make that assessment for yourself on the risks you're willing to take
Yeah, these are N95s/KN95s that I have been wearing, which should provide some protection from others even if they aren't masking, for a certain period of time anyways. And I feel ya on public transit, I use that to get around sometimes. And not so great with many of these public transit systems around the country lifting mask mandates recently.
Masks protect YOU from infecting others. They really don't stop you from getting the virus.
I understand how masks work. But some masks and respirators offer protection to AND from others. A cloth mask, yes, that's hardly going to do anything to protect oneself against Omicron, but higher-grade masks and respirators are absolutely better than not masking at all.
just wear a mask. anyone who insists that you not wear one or that you must dine inside when you disclose that you're not comfortable with it is not respecting your boundaries and isn't worth your time.
fwiw, this society can take my mask from my cold, dead body. I like not getting sick randomly and the intense migraines I get from covid exposure serve as plenty of warning to me to be careful.
Yeah you're right, for better or worse, I've kind of been using mask-wearing as a shortcut for whether or not someone is a compassionate person. I'm sure there are people out there who would understand my hesitation to take off a mask in an especially vulnerable setting, even if I might have to look a little harder for that kind of person. Thank you for your perspective.
I empathize big time. every few months, I find myself thinking, "I should probably try to go on a date", but end up not. I just can't seem to find any inspiration to justify all the rigamarole.
I try to put the leftover energy into maintaining and building my other relationships and/or interests.
maybe someday things will be different and I can re-enter dating society having developed an actual personality. or maybe it will be me, model sailing ships, and an old porch dog called The Commodore.
I can’t imagine that most people would be willing to put up with me not wanting to eat indoors or go to a bar because of me not wanting to take my mask off
View it as a filter that saves you from wasting time with people you just wouldn't click with anyway. I don't know how common this attitude is where you are, i'm under the impression that it varies a lot from place to place, so i can't say how strongly this will narrow things down - but if you're in the northern hemisphere, it's getting warmer outside and there's lots of things to do outside again. You can have coffee / dinner at a place with a nice outdoor terrace, you can go to some park or waterfront or w/e in your area and hang out there etc.
I know 27 is still young, but I guess I sometimes feel shitty to have never had a relationship into my late 20s, and it definitely causes a lot of self-doubt to set in. But realistically that's a bunch of claptrap, no need to dwell on the past, focus on the now, etc.
In my experience using the apps and going on dates for the past month I've been doing so, yeah a lot of people have completely moved on from taking covid seriously. Almost everyone has that "yeah I know I'm taking a risk but fuck it I've been locked up for 2 years and I'm going stir crazy" mindset which is kind of where I was at too. However there are definitely still people who are taking it very seriously, usually they will have an immunocompromised family member or something like that.
I think when the case numbers are low in your area, if you restrict yourself to wearing a mask and eating outdoors only, the chances of you catching it are pretty low. And if you do catch it, so long as you are vaxxed and boosted and relatively healthy, the odds of serious complications are pretty low too. I've come to view like I do driving a car, there's a chance I get into an accident and another chance I get permanently injured or killed from it, but the cost of not doing so (because I live in a hell country) is too great for me to stomach. It seems like we're going to be stuck with covid for an indeterminate, possibly indefinite amount of time because none of our leaders will do anything to solve the issue, and I personally am not willing to give up the rest of my twenties for that. Now that being said, when the inevitable next wave starts to ramp up (and it already looks like cases are ticking up again) I will absolutely be staying the fuck home.
Good to know you're still coming across a not-insignificant number of people who treat the pandemic as a pandemic, that gives me more hope.
Now that being said, when the inevitable next wave starts to ramp up (and it already looks like cases are ticking up again) I will absolutely be staying the fuck home.
Good thing this shithole country (for those of us in the US) basically doesn't even care about tracking cases anymore and we have to rely on literal shit to indicate when we're about to hit a wave.
I don't want to just say don't worry about it, but I do think you need to just live your life at this point, the cat is way out of the bag for collective action stopping any spread and without governmental mandate it's not going to matter. Just take reasonable precautions and avoid excessive exposure when able, and test if you are worried you have been exposed (eg. you went on a date to a restaurant and lots of people were coughing in there), if you are fully vaxed you are at incredibly low risk of any complications.
The impacts on your mental health from continuing to shield will far outweigh the risks from Covid.
Yeah agreed I just shelled out for a co2 monitor and will wear an n95 anywhere poorly ventilated I think that’s about all we can do now
Obviously outdoor dining options exist, but that might not always be the best option, weather permitting
Right now you're looking at upwards of 5 months of being able to eat at a table outside. I think it's a great time to take advantage of that. I've eaten inside and only taken my mask off to take a bite of food, but that can be annoying. Most people would probably be open to eating outside imo.
My advice is take the risks you're comfortable with taking. Personally speaking - I'm in a long distance relationship and we had to make the decision of do we keep waiting to meet irl or not, because when will there ever be a safe time again at this point. I flew out fully knowing the risks and was fine, but that won't be everyone's experiences. Accept whatever risks you take on, stay as safe as you can, and hope for the best. That's how I feel these days
The annoying thing is that some people just shed more, or somehow shed worse forms of the virus
I almost died in 2020, and the reinfection in 2021 was pretty horrible even though I was wearing a mask
however, when I contracted it from my family members (even though I'm around them 24/7 and breathing the same air maskless) it was just a mild malaise.
Been in a similar situation over lockdown. :meow-hug: Only advice I got that's worked for me is outdoor activity group, couple walks a month with a local walking group has been real good for meeting people without consuming their insidious germs. Would recommend to anyone honestly.
I will add, I'd argue there is some sort of balance to be struck with risk of COVID vs. not doing stuff. I fully appreciate and agree with being responsible as possible, but there is a point where the harms of doing nothing at all in fear of COVID is the more harmful approach.
I understand where you're coming from but if three shots and 2+ years of quarantine didn't make the world safe then nothing will. I've gotten COVID twice, once in the beginning while being crazy cautious and once while triple-vaxxed. There's just no avoiding the risk. I'm totally fine now and vaccines greatly reduce your risk of serious illness.
