Bodily autonomy is the biggest thing I see. We've been keen on asking our children before we do anything to them, and where it's something we have to do, we talk to them about why we have to do it. Even for toddlers that shit is important.
Corporal punishment is like an inflated version of that for me. Like kids have no ownership at all over their bodies and actions. It shows in heaps of forms - wrenching a child by the arms, twisting their ears, a snack on the butt for being naughty, locking them away during a tantrum. Full abuse is just a step away from any of these, but a lot of these are socially acceptable.
Basically, it's when a 'punishment' doesn't at all match the infraction. We'd call it unjust for an adult, but for kids it's seen as 'how they learn'
Even well meaning, nice, and educated people will be like “it’s okay to spank your kids”, or will give you these wild hypotheticals that, with proper proactive parenting, you’d have less chances of running into it.
I mean politically, the US refused to ratify corporal punishment as bad by the U.N a few years ago. Corporal punishment was still a thing in various school systems in the early aughts. Cops and School security will hurt children. The way we parent is often an expression of our economic background, with people that are better off, being able to have resources for therapy and counseling. Also with the way children were treated as “seen not heard” and discipline was so bad, when I was growing up. It’s pretty wild.
I was in elementary school back in 1980 and I remember our male gym "teacher" grabbing two boys each by their hair and knocking their heads together. Monstrous. Right before having 8 year olds pick teams, which was brutal for the kids picked last. This was in the US, public school in NY.
Can you elaborate on this? I'd love to here more about what you've picked up on.
Bodily autonomy is the biggest thing I see. We've been keen on asking our children before we do anything to them, and where it's something we have to do, we talk to them about why we have to do it. Even for toddlers that shit is important.
Corporal punishment is like an inflated version of that for me. Like kids have no ownership at all over their bodies and actions. It shows in heaps of forms - wrenching a child by the arms, twisting their ears, a snack on the butt for being naughty, locking them away during a tantrum. Full abuse is just a step away from any of these, but a lot of these are socially acceptable.
Basically, it's when a 'punishment' doesn't at all match the infraction. We'd call it unjust for an adult, but for kids it's seen as 'how they learn'
Also, sorry for the rambling post. Currently covered in toddlers.
Even well meaning, nice, and educated people will be like “it’s okay to spank your kids”, or will give you these wild hypotheticals that, with proper proactive parenting, you’d have less chances of running into it.
I mean politically, the US refused to ratify corporal punishment as bad by the U.N a few years ago. Corporal punishment was still a thing in various school systems in the early aughts. Cops and School security will hurt children. The way we parent is often an expression of our economic background, with people that are better off, being able to have resources for therapy and counseling. Also with the way children were treated as “seen not heard” and discipline was so bad, when I was growing up. It’s pretty wild.
I was in elementary school back in 1980 and I remember our male gym "teacher" grabbing two boys each by their hair and knocking their heads together. Monstrous. Right before having 8 year olds pick teams, which was brutal for the kids picked last. This was in the US, public school in NY.