Its so bad, its bad for movie standards, its bad for marvel standards. Its such a giant mess, almost every aspect of it just doesnt work.
To start you have every single character quipping like the producers watched it with a timer in one hand. Its like a mandated every 60 second quip break, and every single character needs to get in on it. Theres actually a couple funny lines but wow they would land a lot better if this wasnt so constant.
Then you have the weird meme masculinity with the three spider men? "Hey bro, I love you" "no bro, you have to value yourself bro" like just stop. Save it for one scene or something, read a book any book.
The CGI is bottom of the barrel, its really scraping it. Lighting problems, proportions being way off, cartoon trucks suddenly being in screen, whole thing just looks awful. You cant possibly exaggerate how bad this movie looks, it has no visual soul at all.
It also suffers from video game writing, which is something Ive been noticing more and more in modern movies. Spider man shows up at Dr Stranges and he says "heres your quest spidey! I made you a wrist thing to go collect 6 bad guys, good luck!" Later in the film spider man unpacks a machine in his apartment that "can basically just build anything" dang thats convenient. Build a script.
Anyways I hated it, anyone who feels the need to defend these movies is 12. Theres no other explanation, I cannot believe adults are paying for these movies. I cannot believe this is our art culture from now until climate change wipes us out. 6 years from now theres going to be 1 movie that gets made a year, and itll make 9 billion dollars and cost 12 million to make because theyll use slave cgi assistants on every shot and people on twitter will tell you to shut your brain off.
It was a terrible extruded pink goo of a movie but Willem Dafoe was great as the Goblin and we even got to see his face this time.
Norman's on sabbatical, honey.
Dafoe always delivers, its too bad every now and then he turns into a radically different looking cgi character. Dont get me started on how bad the lizard looked.
Don't forget CGI, voiceover recorded over Zoom, and recycled footage starring as Sandman!
I didnt notice the zoom thing, but that would explain some stuff. God, whole thing was just such a depressing disaster.
Instead of seeing Shang-chi last year I decided to binge a bunch of kung-fu movies. Definitely had more fun hooting and hollering everytime Jackie Chan would like dodge a fist and make a funny face.
kung Fu is so good. you know your in for a good time if you see Jackie Chan, Sammo Hung, and or Yuen Woo-Ping. Among others of course
i cant find those on streaming services, it feels like options are really limited now
yeah piracy is great but I have a big nice tv and a computer from work and it would be a lot more pleasant to be able to stream some of these movies instead whats happened which disney has both erased them from existence and also made them nostalgia vehicles??? wtf
It would be nice if random movies didn't just vanish which honestly is another reason to pirate. They don't get to decide when media is no longer available.
As others said there are solutions. As a weird nerd who loves fucking with servers and things I have a whole library set to automatically download anything I want and then stream it at whatever quality I downloaded it to any of my devices. Does take a good bit of setting up but it is very nice once it's going. Or as @Mao_Zedong said you can just download a file and plug in a laptop to a TV. Way easier to set up less convenient in the moment of watching though.
I want to do a mega thread/effort post explaining my whole setup sometime because surely it could be appreciated
You can watched pirated movies on a nice TV. I download untouched blurays and the quality is much better than streaming typically. It's actually kind of ruined streaming for me because I just can't deal with the noticeable compression artifacts now.
Oh that does sound really nice. Whats your process? I havent pirated in years
For piracy, use qBittorent, go to 1337x (dot) to , and/or check out r/piracy.
Easiest way to display stuff on TV is just downloading something on a laptop, and plugging an HDMI cable in. You could also get into jellyfin and the like, but that's a whole ordeal (which I'm not familiar with anyway)
I use Plex. You install it on your PC and make a free account. Then torrent your movie. Save it in folder selected for Plex. Refresh online Plex library so that it downloads metadata and subtitles. Move to couch. Pull up Plex app on TV or use Plex app on phone to cast to TV.
I set up a whole plex thing with a seedbox because of this comment and now im on the seven seas
Plex! You can stream your movies from a PC to a TV
but yeah maybe don't do that on the work PC
as someone who has watched every mcu movie (i will now face the wall), i think it has some of the most visually interesting action scenes in the entire franchise
if i’m being honest it’s probably one of my least favorites out of the mcu slop
Watch Tetsuo: The Iron Man. Excellent martial arts movie. Don't look up anything beforehand because you'll get spoiled on the first link
If you think that's bad there are at least 10 MCU films that are waaaaaay worse.
I dont watch all of these movies and hearing this saddens me.
If you wanna know true depravity watch the Falcon and the Winter Soldier show. Or Captain Marvel.
I actually enjoyed The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, although the part where the obnoxious lib trope of bringing on a character to call out the United States for its many sins and then shrugging and going "no but these people we made up are better and so we can root for them" was extremely grating.
Then you have the weird meme masculinity with the three spider men? “Hey bro, I love you” “no bro, you have to value yourself bro” like just stop. Save it for one scene or something, read a book any book.
??? this is a weird thing to complain about, probably the only natural dialogue in the movie
I just thought it was overdone? I was like 'we get it' one or two times. IDK maybe not the best example I accept counter critique
it was definitely overdone but I think that's kind of necessary given what it is. The amount of men I know who literally just don't support each other at all is through the roof. I can see them just pretending that healthy interaction between the 'different Spider-Men' didn't exist for the first couple times.
I don’t know. I understand what OP means by “meme masculinity.” Shit like “homiesexual” or “it’s not gay if you say no homo”. It’s not necessarily encouraging anyone to do anything other than pretending to be gay for laughs
But they don't do anything like that in the movie... It's just 'supportive bro' stuff.
There's definitely a meme aspect to how it's played, which is for laughs.
its insane how much money they spend on these movies for the CGI to be so bad
what are they doing with it all
I dont think they actually spend a ton. This movie would have actor salaries, but I think you could probably spend a lot more to do it better right? I dont know anything about hollywood accounting
They do the CGI for several movies several years in advance, so it probably costs like $300k per movie lol
The pacing was so dogshit. You can tell the writers had a checklist of things they needed to bring up (Gwen, organic webbing, etc.) but still ended up creating a bunch of plot holes
pacing in every blockbuster is dogshit, starting with the rise of skywalker.
It's literally just "Hey, remember all the other Spider Man movies?": The Movie.
Yeah I was only interested in it because of William Dafoe and Tobey.
Other than that, it's a dumpster fire take at the Spiderverse. The Spiderverse movie was so much better in every aspect.
The 3 Spider Men interacting should have been the highlight of the film but instead it was the worst part due to the absolutely atrocious dialogue. Felt more like the actors riffing than an actual script but who knows
Thats what it felt like! The movie desperately needed any weight, every single scene had to force itself into comedy. Even a little moment like the back crack is just begging for a chance to breathe but everyone has to be so smug the whole time. It doesnt help that a spider man cartoon movie did this whole plot way better.
If you've been paying attention to Hollywood, which I have been just out of scrapings on YouTube and West Wing Thing, the hot thing for all most movie comedies is 'allowing the actors to improvise' aka not writing a script. This can work if the actors are talented improvisers, but most actors are not because they subscribe to the SNL style of 'saying the obvious thing in a funny voice is riffing' or 'repeating things' as comedy, instead of the better standbys of yes-ands and reurrucing thematic bits. That being said, improv really works better as theatre of the mind, and the fact thay this doesn't happen in TV shows is evidence that these chuckle fucks are trying to save money on the script.
That being said, alot of Thor: Ragnarok was improv, but that worked because of the already established characters for those actors.
For how much this site shit all over this movie I thought it was going to be much worse. I'm not gonna die on a hill defending Disney's schlock but if you're a Spiderman fan it's a great time. It would be 1000% better without the annoying Marvel quippiness though.
Fight scenes in marvel movies can be weirdly dull too. Idk if it's the choreography or the way the CG is done, but they all feel really lifeless somehow. Like I thought the movie was fine overall, but I really hope blockbusters can move on from the Marvel house style soon.
Spider-Man is basically the prototype for quippy superheroes, so I don't really get the complaint here. The only time it stuck out was the kids poorly acting laughing at Otto Octavious being named Otto Octavious. And that was really just an acting problem. Probably the best single Spidey page of the modern era is about how fundamental quips are to his character.
I would go so far as to say that NWH is a fantastic Spidey movie in almost every respect.
Yeah that's what I meant to get at. Most MCU films are written like sitcoms with some action and CGI nonsense on the side. But that's because their biggest demographics are 1) children, and 2) the average adult American (many of whom are parents of young children). And the average adult American watches tons of cable TV and, by extension, tons of shitty sitcoms.
yes but have you considered the movies of this calibre are the top half of Marvel slop and no matter how annoying they are they're less bad than most the year's production s
damn it must be easy street when you're pumping out so many films you're basically making your own grading scale
Eh, the cgi only went full garbo with the lizard, and I assumed that was trying to emulate the early 2010's style. And green goblin with his awful new costume. Other than that, not too bad, although outclassed often by Sam Raimi spider-man. I also found it interesting the big fight on the statue of liberty was pretty similar to the last fight with sandman and venom from spider-man three. That plus the recycled villains kinda indicated Disney new Sam Raimi movies were better and they should just copy them. Also the idea of fixing the villains was very neoliberal. But I liked seeing the actors reprise their roles, so can't complain much.
Also bugged me that dr strange was like "this is all your fault" when he did not explain what the spell would do or how it worked, just went right into it and got mad peter didn't like it that way. It makes sense for his character, he's really bad at thinking things through(literally started his movie texting while driving going 100 mph on a winding road during a storm), but the fact no one else says "hey you aren't at fault this guy should have gotten informed consent" irked me.
The idea that they could only commit crimes because they were physically wrong, and their flaws were all external. Doc oc was already flawed before he fused with his arms, he was reckless and arrogant. Osborn was a ruthless business man, Eddie Brock was entitled and took advantage of others. Sandman was the only one you could really argue didn't have flaws exacerbated by his powers. His problem was that he was a convict, and he couldn't really get around that with or without powers. Other than that, the villains' flaws all predated their powers, and were just made more immediate by them. Doc oc giving up on his dream and seeing it wasn't going to work was impactful because he overcame his flaws. Osborne's last thoughts being off his son meant he was looking past himself. Brock never overcame his weakness and entitlement, and died with Venom. Yeah he's not breaking into banks as regulaf otto octavius, but just removing the arms takes away from his journey through the film.
Isn't it kind of a thing for Spiderman where the villains are redeemable?
Of his big three baddies (Green Goblin, Doc Ock, and Venom) all of them get redemption arcs in various stories, also Black Cat, The Lizard, Prowler, Kraven, Silver Sable, Rocket Racer, I'm pretty sure I read an Electro redemption arc, that weird doctor dude with the bo-staff, uhhhh I'm starting to run out of spiderman villains off the top of my head at this point but I'm pretty sure redeeming the villain is not new territory for spiderman and you could even see this as a return to form
It's not the redeeming, but that they are being forceably redeemed. For the Lizard that makes sense, in the comics he's mostly an animal when transformed so Peter has to decide for him. Electro, however, is just as sentient and in control of himself when electric as he was before. He was not evil because he had powers, he decided to cause chaos once he had them. So Spiderman just taking that away from him and they act their good is stupid. I also don't like how this externalizes all their issues. Like I said before, the Sam Raimi villains had their flaws already; ruthlessness, arrogance, entitlement. Their powers only made them more pronounced.
That's fair, and I haven't seen NWH so i can't make a full comparison anyways.
I just remember when I was much younger gravitating towards Spider-man because it seemed like one of the few major franchises where the bad guys didn't have to be bad guys as the meme goes.
Oh yeah that's totally fair. I don't mind redemption arcs, I just think the ones in NWH kinda suck. Because they aren't arcs, the villains are forcibly cured.
it seems like theres always really weak writing around dr strange, like he has too many possibilities to write any obstacles for.
I just wanted to watch Spooderman fight a bunch of dudes while I took a shitload of drugs. mission accomplished.
I didn't pay for it. I know you're not a cop, so that's cool, right?
Yep, you're 100% right. Thanks for making this post so I didn't have to.
