One of them is offering reciepts to people, but is this a trap/inappropriate to ask for if I just know them from the same spaces and aren't really friends with them?

I am bad at navigating these things, even outside the whole detecting DARVO thing

  • supergremlin [they/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I wouldn't get involved. No point in tangling yourself in other people's drama when you don't have any connection to them

  • DrHorrible [they/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Three most common options.

    1. Believe the person that accused first
    2. Believe the person that presents more femininely
    3. Believe the person with more social clout

    But seriously if you aren't really friends with these people you should do your best to ignore it and stay out of it. There's no way to really know the truth and in the case of accusations done over social media there are a ton of social reasons for either party to lie. I've found that plenty of people love attention, power and the ability to punish people they don't like. If you take part in a court of public opinion with relative strangers you will find yourself participating in mob justice.

    If this is a toxic community that demands you participate, then you can just wait for a majority of them to make a decision on who they believe and then just go along with the group

    • MeatfuckerDidNothing [they/them]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Sometimes they both talk about it at social events and Im not sure how I'm supposed to react to that in conversation

      • DrHorrible [they/them]
        ·
        2 years ago

        They're both going out of their way to tell specifically you about it? If so engage in a curious manner but try not to pry. If not ask people at these events that you're closer with what they think.

    • jkfjfhkdfgdfb [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      just read the shit and think about it

      also mob justice is not necessarily a bad thing

  • Owl [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Various cases:

    1. You're close enough to the involved to know who's the victim. You should've already sat them down and convinced them to get themselves out, and be helping them settle into a more healthy space.

    2. You're close enough to the involved to know who should be close enough for case 1. Find that person, double check that they're doing their part, and follow their lead.

    3. You're not close to any of these people. Organize two normal, healthy community events, and invite different sides to each. This is the most good you can do without knowing wtf is going on.

    4. You're not close enough to any of these people that you could invite them to things. Go outside.

    5. Case 3 or 4, but Kiwifarm or 4chan has picked a side. That side is in the wrong. Invite the other side to a quiet event with as little public internet exposure as possible.