i hope he's changed! and i'm glad people being shitty to trans women using femboys as a cudgel no longer have such a high profile tool to use! but i need people to understand this
i hope he's changed! and i'm glad people being shitty to trans women using femboys as a cudgel no longer have such a high profile tool to use! but i need people to understand this
Why do you think the public was entitled to know he was taking HRT? People come out when they want to come out. I think it's disgusting that you're criticizing a gender-fluid person for not coming out when YOU wanted them to. And he is well within his rights for expressing his feminine side while still calling himself a guy.
It's messed up in the same way that workout influencers deny being on steroids when they are. It gives people messed up body image issues because they are being told that they can achieve something that is actually impossible. This is a reaction that a lot of people in the thread are actually having.
There are differences of course:
A. There's more social pressure to hide being on HRT than steroids.
B. Not mentioning something is different than denying it.
So, I think we can acknowledge that he had reason to hide it and that he's not required to disclose it, but we can also acknowledge the harm it causes in the discourse when it comes from such a prominent person.
the reason is very clearly stated there, which is that the entire thing his channel was based on was that he was an ordinary cis guy who looked like that and it's now clear that was untrue. he was something used against trans women by transmisogynists regularly. either "why can't you just be a feminine man, like him" or saying he was prettier or some other similar bullshit
of course! i do not begrudge anyone who does that. however, in addition to the above, he on several occasions made videos* that heavily leaned on some super transphobic tropes, about the idea of an attractive women secretly turning out to be a man as this big twist. that shit gets people killed irl, so him doing it as a joke for content is both in poor taste and also perpetuating that idea that tricking men is what we do as trans women. and it's also his whole gimmick to begin with, and that was how i heard about him. he was the streamer/youtuber who looks like a girl but is a man, that was his thing. the fact that he was lying about that for months, maybe longer, is something that it's perfectly reasonable to be mad about for a whole host of reasons
*
I see those titles and I see someone attempting to explore their identity, albiet in a out-of-touch streamer way and with clickbaity headlines. Anyone who used him as ammunition against other trans people would've just clung onto something else as a weapon if he didn't make his content the way he did.
Stop sowing division in the trans community over something petty. I think the way he made content potentially had a positive impact on many gender-nonconforming people, because he showed that you don't have to identify as trans in order to explore your identity and how you express yourself.
You're upset that he "lied" about being on HRT? Did you tell everyone right away when you started HRT? I would imagine you told people when you were ready. Fin was still figuring out his flavor of gender-queerness and probably didn't want to be pigeon-holed into being called a transwoman by his community. He probably thought it was nessessary to reinforce the idea of "I'm a guy, but I look like a gal." through his videos so much to avoid that.
ok well this "petty" stuff causes real world harm and, i would like to say again, GETS PEOPLE KILLED. these ideas that he's leaning into and perpetuating get real trans women killed! that is by far the most important thing here, even if there's a bunch of other shitty things going on here. this is not sowing division, this is not petty, this is something that causes actual harm! like, in ways that aren't just a streamer feeling bad because all these trans women think he's one of them
the people using him as a cudgel against transfems would have found other ways to attack us, but having someone so high profile is a uniquely potent form of ammunition that i have the right to be bitter about! i am mad about this shit! i am not advocate we burn him at the stake, i am simply saying i haven't forgotten it and i'm still angry!
good for them! i'm happy for anyone who feels that way! there are some in the comments of this post, i'm glad they found that way of learning to express themselves. i take issue with the phrasing "you don't have to identify as trans to x" because as mentioned transphobes often make that argument using him as an example, and the idea that pressure exerted by people suggesting people questioning their identity identify as trans could be a real problem compared to the massive, overwhelming pressure exerted by our transphobic (and especially transmisogynistic) society is both patently ridiculous and a transphobic trope
but as mentioned i'm genuinely happy for anyone who felt like they understood themselves better thanks to his content
you're right, i didn't tell everyone right away! i bet you think you're real smart for that one! the difference between me and f1nn5ter is that i was not selling myself as a cisgender man who looked like that, dealing with all those other tropes i've discussed and also (as has been brought up by a bunch of other people here) giving people a lot of body image issues when they compare themselves to him because if a CIS DUDE looks like that why can't i look better when i'm on hrt
but that's hardly the most important point here. it sucks, but the important point is him repeating these deeply harmful tropes. i don't care if he had a hard time with people assuming he was a trans woman (as i mentioned earlier the idea that people pushing him in that way make a big impact comparatively is ridiculous, but i'll roll with it) the trap stuff is inexcusable to me. you cannot do that shit for so long without someone informing you why it's a problem, i refuse to believe no one told him to cut that specific shit out
and it doesn't matter anyway because there's no fucking way he was titling the videos like that to make himself feel better about his gender, that's bullshit and you know it. the videos were titled and thumbnailed like that because leaning into scandalous transphobic tropes gets clicks. and i am allowed to be angry at him for that! you're acting like i have any power over him when i'm a broke removed in a different country expressing my frustration over the shit he's done that's hurt me and my friends and those like us. fuck off
Thank you for speaking the words in my heart and for educating and shutting down the normalization of transphobia and the sexualization of trans women. It's so frustrating to see people try to shut down legitimate concerns by displaying their ignorance in the material conditions of trans women.