• Alaskaball [comrade/them]MA
    ·
    edit-2
    9 months ago

    can't really actually secede up here unless we get industrialized and developed enough to either produce the food we need to sustain ourselves or process our raw resources into commodities for sale, or else we're gonna either have an immediate famine or be turned into a resource colony that'll get absolutely pillaged by finance capital. Of course the third option is to secede then swear fealty to another country which would be interesting as long as it isn't canada

    • PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml
      ·
      edit-2
      9 months ago

      You think the crackers seeing seceding as remedy for all their problems know that? Their knowledge about economy is just "throw money until things magically improve" and it's hardly rare since if you look at entire Ukraine war and crisis handling, federal govt think the same.

      That said, pokes with stick do it, balkanize

      • Alaskaball [comrade/them]MA
        ·
        9 months ago

        Its even funnier to me because a whole lot of the dumbass hoity-toity moderately wealthier than average dipshits that live out in Eagle River, an outskirt community district to the municipality of Anchorage, are constantly bickering to secede from Anchorage and become their own independent town regardless of the fact that they literally share resource infrastructure with the Municipality.

        Here's an article from a few years back on it and heres an audio clip from Chapo Trap House that talks about another bunch of white dipshits trying to do the exact same thing a few years prior to that called - out of fucking everything possible - Eagles Landing! At least we have the fucking bird up here to justify naming shit after it.

    • MemesAreTheory [he/him, any]
      ·
      edit-2
      9 months ago

      The lathe is having a weird one.

      BREAKING NEWS: ALASKA HAS SECEDED FROM THE UNITED STATES "Local authorities are a pledging a union with the country of Nepal. They say say 'For too long have we suffered under the American yoke, and for too long has Nepal been a land-locked nation. We figured we'd solve two birds with one stone.' Canada is more than a little offended but courteously accepting of its new Nepalese neighbor."

      • Alaskaball [comrade/them]MA
        ·
        9 months ago

        ... I'll take this deal on the grounds we'll become invisible to the world as one of the few secretly yet not really a secret communist states

    • SpiderFarmer [he/him]
      ·
      9 months ago

      California could make it work, provided they embraced communism.

      • Alaskaball [comrade/them]MA
        ·
        9 months ago

        And have the people upstream of the Colorado River pour in vats of VX to own the commiefornians? Joking on that last bit, but the reliance on the Colorado River isn't.

        Cali nerds need to get their water situation under control if they really want to set themselves on the path to autarky

        • ShimmeringKoi [comrade/them]
          ·
          9 months ago

          I don't know where the upstream states get most of their food but surely that's something California could leverage

          • Alaskaball [comrade/them]MA
            ·
            9 months ago

            pretty much my thoughts on it, just gotta raze las vegas and phoenix, and you'll be set.

            • WashedAnus [he/him]
              ·
              9 months ago

              Replace them with solar farms and soil remediation fields. Nothing of value will be lost destroying those two monuments to settler-colonial hubris.

                • WashedAnus [he/him]
                  ·
                  9 months ago

                  Gotta get all the toxins out of the soil we put there somehow. Hemp works well at remediating and it'll grow well enough, considering you're not really worrying about the crop being desirable.

                  • Alaskaball [comrade/them]MA
                    ·
                    9 months ago

                    that's really neat actually. I have a vague interest, mainly watching a few scant videos every once in a while, in ecological restoration work and bio-rediversification, so hearing this kind of stuff's gives me the sort of positive brain tinglies.

                  • nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de
                    ·
                    9 months ago

                    What do you do with the resulting toxic hemp though? It’s just a repackaged heavy metal that’s going to get composted back into the dirt at some point.

                    • WashedAnus [he/him]
                      ·
                      9 months ago

                      That's a good question. I imagine sequestration, extracting the heavy metals and using it for industrial purposes, or extreme dilution (the old saying "The solution to pollution is dilution" is true, you just have to do it right. They're all naturally occurring elements, it's just the concentrations that are toxic.)

      • Egon
        ·
        edit-2
        3 months ago

        deleted by creator

        • SpiderFarmer [he/him]
          ·
          9 months ago

          Yes. That shit is fucked up. Mind you, if California operated desalinization plants and shut down all golf courses and fake-ass suburban lawns, it would be more viable.

          I should also add that as a Midwesterner, I am prepared to fight Californians to the death in the Water Wars. They can take Minnesota over my cold, dead body.

          • Bnova [he/him]
            ·
            9 months ago

            Minnesota will from henceforth be "Northern California". We will drain lake Superior for our lawns and carwashes.

  • itappearsthat
    ·
    9 months ago

    ok let's pump those hawaii numbers up

      • SSJ2Marx
        ·
        edit-2
        9 months ago

        Unfortunately Hawaii has been thoroughly colonized, with only 21% of the population being full or part Hawaiian native.

    • D61 [any]
      ·
      9 months ago

      Hawaii just sitting back being quiet, waiting for everybody to forget they exist while the mainland is on fire.

  • EmmaGoldman [she/her, comrade/them]
    ·
    9 months ago

    Smh Alaska should just be Canada. The Alexander archipelago should be part of BC, then the rest can be part of the Yukon territory.

    • SSJ2Marx
      ·
      9 months ago

      Alaska should have never stopped being Russian, and should therefore be a Soviet successor state, the Soviet Socialist Republic of Alaska.

    • Alaskaball [comrade/them]MA
      ·
      9 months ago

      How about no. i'll actually take up arms if anybody here tries to get us annexed by KKKanada

      • wopazoo [he/him]
        ·
        9 months ago

        you will have free healthcare, whether you want it or not.

        • Alaskaball [comrade/them]MA
          ·
          9 months ago

          I will unify the entire population of this state and organize warbands to kickstart the first North American continental war in centuries!

        • Alaskaball [comrade/them]MA
          ·
          9 months ago

          Because screw Canada, screw the british, screw their king and entire royal family, screw the quebec frogs, double screw all the United Empire loyalist crackers that fled the revolution and settled in Canada, and most importantly screw the canadian government.

          • TrudeauCastroson [he/him]
            ·
            9 months ago

            You will use the King Charles stamps.

            You will half-assedly learn French for several years in elementary and highschool, but not enough to even be conversational.

            You will learn who the real winners of the war of 1812 were.

            Get ready to learn the proper context in which to say eh, and start calling people bud/buddy, buddy.

            • Alaskaball [comrade/them]MA
              ·
              9 months ago

              WE WILL DUMP YOUR MAPLE SYRUP INTO THE OCEAN!

              GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH!

                    • Alaskaball [comrade/them]MA
                      ·
                      9 months ago

                      Why the bible though? Wouldn't it be better to talk about the Raven in one of the Alaskan languages?

                      • Lemmygradwontallowme [he/him, comrade/them]
                        ·
                        edit-2
                        9 months ago

                        Just speak that language anyhow or something else, you toton... OU JE VAIS DECALISSER TON YUEULE EN SAINT CIBOIRE, PUTAIN D'ALASKA DE MERDE.... J'EN MARRE!

                        Fine, the ultimatum:

                        If yes to being colonized by Canada and getting Poutine, breath...

                        If no, speak a different language associated with Alaska, like Russian or Aleut, and recite some sort of text, like the "Bible", "the Raven", or better, "387.44 million miles" speech by AM in "I have no mouth and I must scream"....

                        • Alaskaball [comrade/them]MA
                          ·
                          9 months ago

                          If no, speak a different language associated with Alaska, like Russian or Aleut, and recite some sort of text, like the "Bible", "the Raven", or better, "387.44 million miles" speech by AM in "I have no mouth and I must scream"....

                          Including the Russian colonizer language opens the door to other colonizer languages, you absolute ptarmigan, and English has longer ties to this land than Russian!


                          Once upon a time, long ago, there lived two girls who lived in a large tribal village. The two of them were cousins who loved the moon like no other but each other.

                          On the evenings when the moon touched the sky, the two girls would to go out to the beach and play the night away.

                          Each every night they played sang to each other claiming the moon as their husband.

                          And each every night they spent the the hours gazing and longing for the love of the man in the moon.

                          They sheltered themselves in a propped up a iqyax to protect themselves from the elements, and through out the night would change positions many times so they could always face the moon.

                          As morning dawned they would return home, which upon their return their parents always questioned them worryingly about their whereabouts.

                          The two girls told their parents how they had spent the whole night watching the moon walking across the night sky until it passed from sight.

                          They would tell all of their family often of how much they loved the moon, and how they themselves were always wishing they were moons as well.

                          One evening, the two girls went once more to the beach again, but with the other young people of their tribe. They played together until night came, then all the young people of the tribe returned home.

                          But the two girls remained.

                          As the moon vanished away out of their sight, one girl complained to the other,

                          "Why did the moon hide from us so suddenly? I like playing with him and enjoy his soft moonlight on my skin."

                          "I do, too," said the other girl to her dismay, for it was not yet middernight yet the moon was already hidden behind the clouds.

                          Until this moment they had not noticed how disheveled their appearance had become from playing earlier in the evening as their gazes fell from the moonless sky onto each other.

                          "You have been professing your love for me,"

                          They heard the voice of a young man, startling them as a beautiful man as silver as the full moon approached them from the darkness.

                          He said. "I have observed you every night from the sky and know your steadfast love for me, therefore, I have come for you to take as my bride. But since my work is very hard, I can only take one of you--the more patient one."

                          Both girls begged to be chosen by the moon for both love the moon greatly.

                          Finally he said, "I have decided to take both of you. Now close your eyes and keep them closed."

                          So he grabbed each by their long hair, and in the next moment they were rushing through the air for what seemed like an endless time.

                          The patience of one cousin slowly wore thin.

                          As she opened her eyes, she felt herself drop down, down, down, leaving her hair behind in his hands.

                          When she finally saw the world around her, she had found herself beside the iqyax where she and her cousin had left it.

                          The patient cousin kept her eyes closed the entire time and in the morning, as she felt the warmth of the sun, found herself in a comfortable ulaagamax, inside the home of the moon.

                          From then on she lived as the wife of the moon, happy loving him as he came and went from their home, where they slept during the day, as he worked all night.

                            • Alaskaball [comrade/them]MA
                              ·
                              9 months ago

                              I wouldve declared a maoist guerilla war that would've been waged from the pacific to the atlantic if you hadn't

            • itappearsthat
              ·
              edit-2
              9 months ago

              you will tolerate the court of queen's bench spending a zillion dollars rebranding to the court of king's bench for the two years that asshole is still alive

    • hexaflexagonbear [he/him]
      ·
      9 months ago

      I remember tge Alexander archipelago having some insanely silly history like the British representative for Canada not wanting to stay in the new world for too long and just voting to give it to the US.

  • Adkml [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    9 months ago

    If it weren't for all the abject human suffering it would be funny to see Texas Republicans act like they're Dam Houston for 12 hours until the entire state becam "Cartel-sylvania"

  • SSJ2Marx
    ·
    9 months ago

    As a Californian, I critically support all secession movements in the imperial core based on the assumption that they would further weaken US imperial hegemony.

  • axont [she/her, comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    9 months ago

    I know that the surveyors probably anticipate and account for this, but I always believe these surveys show the average American answers stuff randomly. I don't think the average person really understands what secession would entail nor would they want to try to achieve it.

    And this isn't something based on evidence I've done, this is more of a goosebumps feeling I get: I really think most Americans who promote secession want a white ethnostate and that's what they think secession means. That's definitely what most Texan secessionists I've met want. They think an independent Texas would immediately become entirely white. What it would actually become is a Saudi Arabian vassal state since the KSA would want to keep all their refineries, ports, and shipping lanes along the gulf coast

    the only Americans I believe when it comes to secession are indigenous people. I don't trust crackers for a second unless it's one of you people trying to balkanize the great satan

    • ☆ Yσɠƚԋσʂ ☆@lemmy.ml
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      9 months ago

      I very much agree with all that. I think another part of it is that a lot of people buy into the whole myth of rugged individualism that Americans are brought up into, and have deep mistrust for having a central government. As material conditions continue to decline, people are increasingly blaming the federal government for all their problems. They don't understand how a modern economy works, they don't know where the goods they consume come from. The have this romanticized frontier mindset that if their state splits off then they'll just be completely self sufficient.