Here's the text from the New International Version
The Test for an Unfaithful Wife
11 Then the LORD said to Moses,
12 “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘If a man’s wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him
13 so that another man has sexual relations with her, and this is hidden from her husband and her impurity is undetected (since there is no witness against her and she has not been caught in the act),
14 and if feelings of jealousy come over her husband and he suspects his wife and she is impure—or if he is jealous and suspects her even though she is not impure—
15 then he is to take his wife to the priest. He must also take an offering of a tenth of an ephah of barley flour on her behalf. He must not pour olive oil on it or put incense on it, because it is a grain offering for jealousy, a reminder-offering to draw attention to wrongdoing.
16 “ ‘The priest shall bring her and have her stand before the LORD.
17 Then he shall take some holy water in a clay jar and put some dust from the tabernacle floor into the water.
18 After the priest has had the woman stand before the LORD, he shall loosen her hair and place in her hands the reminder-offering, the grain offering for jealousy, while he himself holds the bitter water that brings a curse.
19 Then the priest shall put the woman under oath and say to her, “If no other man has had sexual relations with you and you have not gone astray and become impure while married to your husband, may this bitter water that brings a curse not harm you.
20 But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have made yourself impure by having sexual relations with a man other than your husband”—
21 here the priest is to put the woman under this curse—“may the LORD cause you to become a curse among your people when he makes your womb miscarry and your abdomen swell.
22 May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells or your womb miscarries.” “ ‘Then the woman is to say, “Amen. So be it.”
23 “ ‘The priest is to write these curses on a scroll and then wash them off into the bitter water.
24 He shall make the woman drink the bitter water that brings a curse, and this water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering will enter her.
25 The priest is to take from her hands the grain offering for jealousy, wave it before the LORD and bring it to the altar.
26 The priest is then to take a handful of the grain offering as a memorial offering and burn it on the altar; after that, he is to have the woman drink the water.
27 If she has made herself impure and been unfaithful to her husband, this will be the result: When she is made to drink the water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering, it will enter her, her abdomen will swell and her womb will miscarry, and she will become a curse.
28 If, however, the woman has not made herself impure, but is clean, she will be cleared of guilt and will be able to have children.
29 “ ‘This, then, is the law of jealousy when a woman goes astray and makes herself impure while married to her husband,
30 or when feelings of jealousy come over a man because he suspects his wife. The priest is to have her stand before the LORD and is to apply this entire law to her.
31 The husband will be innocent of any wrongdoing, but the woman will bear the consequences of her sin.’ ”
Assuming priests didn't used to have magic powers then this is basically just a guaranteed way to get the wife off the hook and the guy to shut the fuck up lmao
Wait so if a husband suspects cheating he has his wife drink miscarriage juice? Like a plan B that doesnt work until you're in the second trimester or showing or w/e? Thats fucking weiirrrddd my guy
It would be great if in a movie somebody quoted the book of Numbers...
" 'On the fifth day of the sixth month Zachariah had seen that 11 of his sheep were—' "
"Get to the fucking point. Oh my god."
Numbers was clearly written by accountants who had nothing to do because business accounting firms only existed thousands of years into the future. So they took up God fanfic.
Numbers 5:11-31
Here's the text from the New International Version
The Test for an Unfaithful Wife
11 Then the LORD said to Moses,
12 “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘If a man’s wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him
13 so that another man has sexual relations with her, and this is hidden from her husband and her impurity is undetected (since there is no witness against her and she has not been caught in the act),
14 and if feelings of jealousy come over her husband and he suspects his wife and she is impure—or if he is jealous and suspects her even though she is not impure—
15 then he is to take his wife to the priest. He must also take an offering of a tenth of an ephah of barley flour on her behalf. He must not pour olive oil on it or put incense on it, because it is a grain offering for jealousy, a reminder-offering to draw attention to wrongdoing.
16 “ ‘The priest shall bring her and have her stand before the LORD.
17 Then he shall take some holy water in a clay jar and put some dust from the tabernacle floor into the water.
18 After the priest has had the woman stand before the LORD, he shall loosen her hair and place in her hands the reminder-offering, the grain offering for jealousy, while he himself holds the bitter water that brings a curse.
19 Then the priest shall put the woman under oath and say to her, “If no other man has had sexual relations with you and you have not gone astray and become impure while married to your husband, may this bitter water that brings a curse not harm you.
20 But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have made yourself impure by having sexual relations with a man other than your husband”—
21 here the priest is to put the woman under this curse—“may the LORD cause you to become a curse among your people when he makes your womb miscarry and your abdomen swell.
22 May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells or your womb miscarries.” “ ‘Then the woman is to say, “Amen. So be it.”
23 “ ‘The priest is to write these curses on a scroll and then wash them off into the bitter water.
24 He shall make the woman drink the bitter water that brings a curse, and this water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering will enter her.
25 The priest is to take from her hands the grain offering for jealousy, wave it before the LORD and bring it to the altar.
26 The priest is then to take a handful of the grain offering as a memorial offering and burn it on the altar; after that, he is to have the woman drink the water.
27 If she has made herself impure and been unfaithful to her husband, this will be the result: When she is made to drink the water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering, it will enter her, her abdomen will swell and her womb will miscarry, and she will become a curse.
28 If, however, the woman has not made herself impure, but is clean, she will be cleared of guilt and will be able to have children.
29 “ ‘This, then, is the law of jealousy when a woman goes astray and makes herself impure while married to her husband,
30 or when feelings of jealousy come over a man because he suspects his wife. The priest is to have her stand before the LORD and is to apply this entire law to her.
31 The husband will be innocent of any wrongdoing, but the woman will bear the consequences of her sin.’ ”
It's... not great...
Assuming priests didn't used to have magic powers then this is basically just a guaranteed way to get the wife off the hook and the guy to shut the fuck up lmao
Wait so if a husband suspects cheating he has his wife drink miscarriage juice? Like a plan B that doesnt work until you're in the second trimester or showing or w/e? Thats fucking weiirrrddd my guy
What an odd comment to show up on my user page
deleted by creator
Ehhhh, that's pretty common throughout OT texts. That and parallelism are pretty common literary devices in the bible.
deleted by creator
It would be great if in a movie somebody quoted the book of Numbers...
" 'On the fifth day of the sixth month Zachariah had seen that 11 of his sheep were—' "
"Get to the fucking point. Oh my god."
Numbers was clearly written by accountants who had nothing to do because business accounting firms only existed thousands of years into the future. So they took up God fanfic.