That is NOT an easy decision to make. I genuinely hope you find a good solution in this to make yourself happy at the end of the day.

Your best bet is to probably have another sit down with her and explain how important this is to you. Long-term SOs tend to want to listen, but if she’s too old school, you’re going to have a major uphill battle. Either way, I wish you the best of luck.

Just wanted to say that you did not fuck this up. You haven't done anything wrong by being who you are and finding out at your own pace. It probably took a lot of bravery on your part to tell her & I'm sorry that she didn't react well, but that's far from being something you "fucked up".