If every investment banker in New York went on strike, nothing would much change in America. If every plumber decided to stop working, every electrician, the country comes to a halt. I mean, literally, not figuratively, literally, it comes to a damn halt.

Tonight I am calling on every American to commence an armed general strike effective immediately. All DNC donations will go directly to a general strike fund for workers, every cent will put food on a striking worker's table.

Every union in this nation has been supplied with military grade equipment and weaponry. If you’ve never heard of anacho syndicalism before… well you’re about to. You know, my mother had an old Irish proverb, she’d tell it to us when we were smuggling money to the IRA… crowned heads, wealth and privilege will tremble - Black and Red unite!

(applause, cheering)

“Hold for applause?” What does that mean? Oh, I get… yeah.

(applause recedes slowly, like Biden’s hairline)

In the months leading up to this speech, we have purged the military and state department of any lying dog faced pony soldier still loyal to capital and empire. Tonight before taking this-you know- this stage, our people’s military eradicated the last vestiges of the CIA and FBI. Not gonna make the same mistake both those Kennedys made. Purge and then announce it.

Every US military base on foreign soil has been turned over to socialist parties in their respective countries. We’re executing the Amerikan Empire like I executed that transphobe Gregg DeSantis, by slitting its throat with a rusty straight razor.

Tonight we have a single demand: complete worker ownership of every company. If this demand is not met, we will begin publicly executing CEOs starting at the top of the Fortune 500 and working our way down the list.

To show we mean business, here is Doug McMillon, the CEO of Walmart. Say goodbye to your shareholders Doug. (gunshot, mixture of cheers and screams). Holy Mary, that’s a lot of blood, should have used a smaller caliber handgun. Sorry to you folks in the front row, bring a poncho next time.

(brief pause)

Make no mistake: We will destroy the global economy with zero hesitation. You carpetbagging scumsuckers should have passed Build Back Better when that deal was on the texas hold ‘em table.

Your last chance for a peaceful transition of power has passed and let me tell you something, slick: you should have taken it. Because the next step? Well this next step is armed revolution and I'm strapped, Jack. I'm armed to the fucking teeth and my gums are bleeding.

I will make Hồ Chí Minh look like Rachel Fucking Maddow, I swear on the graves of my dead wife and children. Surrender the means of production or we will take it by force and leave your body rotting in the street like Doug here. No more bourgeoisie malarkey, Dark Brandon is a man of my word.

Folks, the rich only seem powerful because we are on our knees. Let us rise.

:amerikkka::biden-leftist: :hammer-sickle:

  • LeftistJoeBiden [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    It wouldn’t have hurt, that’s for damn sure. Those Kennedys were wealthy, horn dog opportunistic capitalists, but I’ve been told they were sympathetic to the USSR.

    Picking Lyndon Johnson as a VP was also a mistake, you always pick someone further left and crazier than you as your right hand. Kamala is a third world posadist, for example. She’ll nuke the imperial core first thing after being sworn in.

    :nuke::jokermala:

    • LeftistJoeBiden [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      That’s part of why we don’t ask Kamala to give a lot of speeches. Last time we did, she started yelling “another kkkrackkker down!!! unlimited genocide on the first world!!”

      took us weeks to scrub all the recordings of that, real pain in the keister. It downright ruined a press luncheon though, which was funny. thought Pelosi was going to pass out, but she was just tripping on quaaludes she bought from Hunter again

    • invo_rt [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      You got to pick Henry Wallace and not Harry Truman.

      • LeftistJoeBiden [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        You’re damn right, fats. Gotta have someone crazier than a shithouse rat in your corner. I’m a big admirer of Henry A Wallace, hell of a statesman. Here’s a quote from some writing he published back when he was the vice-president to Roosevelt:

        The American fascists are most easily recognized by their deliberate perversion of truth and fact. Their newspapers and propaganda carefully cultivate every fissure of disunity, every crack in the common front against fascism. They use every opportunity to impugn democracy. They use isolationism as a slogan to conceal their own selfish imperialism. They cultivate hate and distrust of both Britain and Russia.

        They claim to be super- patriots, but they would destroy every liberty guaranteed by the Constitution. They demand free enterprise, but are the spokesmen for monopoly and vested interest. Their final objective toward which all their deceit is directed is to capture political power so that, using the power of the state and the power of the market simultaneously, they may keep the common man in eternal subjection.

        - “The Danger of American Fascism,” Henry Wallace (1944)