The retro lights, the plate and the carpet should also count, and everything matches color, so that's a four in the Kinsey scale.
Hold up, is that a scenter? That's a Kinsey-6
fuck I was typing this and glanced down to see you already said it
I think his friends are just ribbing him, but I guess the advice stays the same.
Sorry my dude, you went with the rose gold, you have to suck my dong now. I don’t make the rules.
to be a true man all you can have is a mattress (no cover) and a thin mirror at eye level, so that you can stand there and look into your own eyes and nothing else
Mirrors are the bourgeois decadence that Lenin warned of
so that you can stand there and look into your own eyes and nothing else
The mirror can also be punched during a specific story beat before DudeBro McManPain gets revenge on them. :us-foreign-policy:
- unpolished, uneven concrete floors
- a faucet next to a wash tub (aka "Toilet Kitchen")
- a computer monitor on the floor next to a laptop
- mini-fridge full of lunchables and 5 hour energy
- sleeping bag, no pillow
- twin head 16,000 lumen work lights on adjustable tripod
You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like
No, everything has to be serious at all times and we cannot find any humor in the absurdity of hell world. The last time I smiled was on August 19th, 1991. I wear a dirty ushanka at all times, do not shave, and only take cold sponge baths because hot running water is bourgeoisie decadence.
Every day at exactly noon I have the same meal of an expired Maoist MRE I store in a pit covered in old issues of a revolutionary newspaper. I sleep in a bed made of flags from every failed revolution so that they are never forgotten. In the evenings I stare at a picture of vodka by candlelight, but I do not allow myself to drink because there is nothing to celebrate. Every local org has banned me after I attempted to split it by assassinating the leadership.
There is no plumbing in my house I shit in a brass bucket with a picture of Gonzalo and Deng french kissing in the bottom of it. My house is actually an overturned T34 in an abandoned junkyard in Wisconsin.
I have a single friend in this world and it is a tapeworm named Bordiga that I met after ingesting spoiled borscht on 9/11 in the ruins of building 7 (I blew it up after finding that a nominally leftist NGO inside of it wasn’t sufficiently anti-imperialist, the attacks on the world trade center were a perfect revolutionary moment for me to enact direct praxis against liberalism). My sole source of income is various MLM schemes in the former soviet bloc that have been running for so long no one remembers who I am, they just keep sending money.
I have not paid taxes since McGovern lost the Democratic nomination for president and my faith in electoralism died more brutally than my childhood dog after it got into an entire jar of tylenol.
I own 29 fully automatic rusted kalashnikovs and three crates of ammunition entirely incompatible with them or any other firearms I own. My double PHD in marxist economics and 18th century Swiss philosophy (required to understand Engels) sits over the fireplace of my home, my fireplace is a salvaged drum from a 1950s washing machine that was recalled for locking children inside of it. I chose that washing machine model on purpose because I am anti-natalist.
During the latest BLM protests I firebombed a Nikes outlet in the middle of a peaceful candlelit vigil. William F Buckley and I wrote hatemail to one another for 47 years until my final letter gave him an aneurysm. The only water I drink is from puddles. George Lucas and I dropped acid together during an MKULTRA southern baptist summer camp and he went on to write the movie Willow about our time together.
The best way to test whether an electrical wire is live is to drool on it and shrimp salad is racist. You can make an IED out of potassium and the instructions are online thanks to Timothy McVey, who was actually a committed antifascist communist slandered by the deep state as part of operation condor.
Every time a liberal files a restraining order against me, I carve a mark into the wall. I am running out of walls. When Amerika finally collapses I will be ready to lead the revolution. I am very smart and people like being around me.
I had this unironically happen watching tiktok after queen liz bit it. For a few hours i experienced actual joy for the first time since 2019.
I remember doing an edit which was better suited to drop when talking about
amenitiesburgeois decadences, since this version as is starts talking about being humorlessFor some reason I can't find it, maybe because of the archived comments thing?
oh fuck responded to the wrong thread thought it was a comment in copypasta post, sorry
tiny gold astronaut and ps5 being the only noteworthy things makes this very, very male
'What's with the orchid, bro? You some kind of lady botanist now?'
Orchids actually look like testicles, making them one of the manliest potted plants a bro can keep in his very masculine dude-lair. He should just make sure to put them in a manlier container properly reflecting the owner’s manpain, like an old ammunition tin, or the cracked skull of an enemy.
Nice try tricking this redditor into an orchidectomy, tho, i approve.
Tables are pretty gay.
Source: I'm a 100% straight, alpha man who eats on the carpet.
Bro you literally call yourself Bidet, the gayest house amenity, you have no choice but be my boyfriend
Femininity = adopting the color scheme of an Aperture Science office.
Portal has a female protagonist and a female villain, theory confirmed
interior design shit is still super gendered it's so bizzare. like this dude might just be using industry terms, but it sounds exactly like a chud bc of the fucked up way "leather and wood" is labeled masculine (????)
I had a former roommate who was a frat bro. He had a friend come over to our house one day and at some point I overhear the friend ask "why are the shower curtains in your bathrooms so girly?"
A) the shower curtains were literally abstract shapes and colors. SHAPES AND COLORS. B) the house we lived in was super old and I literally bought anything that fit, so the selection was limited C) it's amazing how fragile the masculinity of these people is D) I should have responded, "it's because I suck cock, bro"
Fake plants from IKEA, heavy metal coffee table, RBG lights galore, only featured items are a PS5 and an action figure, random orange soda sitting on a shelf, sectional with only 4 stock pillows
This decorating is giving me some real feminine vibes
And to be clear, I like the look of the room. It just couldn’t be clearer that his friends think putting any effort at all into the appearance of your room is somehow feminine
I'm going to have to disagree with you, light colors+that table+plant is kinda feminine. Insomuch as any interior design is gendered, I would expect this in the house/room of a young woman than a young man.
sorry I just find Ruth Bader Ginsburg incredibly funny
🎶 blue jean baby 🎶
