So I work at this warehouse that salvages old technology, like when a company gets rid of stuff they send it to us and we sort out what's scrap and what's valuable. Sometimes, we get random office supplies like stress balls or desk organizers or whatever, and generally we either throw them out or swipe them to have at our workstations.

Well, today I was going through a box and I found some weeb stuff, like anime posters and stuff. There was a big Monster Hunter: World book, a book about sushi, one about Edward Snowden, just random stuff. Then I see a book with Lelouch from Code Geass with his hand on Suzaku's chest, and at first I think it's just an art book because the official Code Geass art is super homoerotic, but nope. Turns out, I found someone's porn stash. And it's all in mint condition (thank god).

So like, rationally, I should just throw it away, right? But then goblin brain just starts screaming at me, "You have to save the yaois!" It's not even, like, if I just wanted that stuff I could buy it, but like, gay porn that I stole from work is like, that's a fucking magic item. It's like, the story, the bragging rights, it's just this impulse. Also I hate throwing stuff away especially when it's like brand new, and the (sfw) Monster Hunter book looks like I could sell it for like, $80 or something if I could get it out. So for now I just put it in an inconspicuous box.

Should I do gay crime??? I would have to get it past security, but they're mostly concerned about metal items. Should tell someone I found "some books" and see if I can get permission? Should I just forget about it because it's dumb and irresponsible??? Help.

  • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]
    ·
    2 years ago

    How many chances in your life do you get, to be able to tell the 6-word-story "I stole gay porn from work"?

  • edge [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    How is this even a question? Of course you should.

  • Dingdangdog [he/him,comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    The mh world book is a good find at the very least

    Also every single person at that job steals, guaranteed. Especially the ones that say not to.

    Just don't say anything.

  • Alaskaball [comrade/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Are there cameras? No? Then obviously you did your job properly and disposed of them and nobody's the wiser for it.

    Yes? Did you know cameras have blindspots? You should always pay attention to where those are so you can avoid looking like you're smuggling out someone's porn stash trash.

  • UlyssesT [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    What part of this don't you understand?

    https://i.etsystatic.com/18929231/r/il/cc17c2/1740315989/il_794xN.1740315989_kqva.jpg

  • ssjmarx [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I get the feeling your company mostly deals in scrap tech stuff, so if you don't have a policy for books and they're 100% trash then take them and don't say shit. If it's a grey area then ask, I would say be straight up though and tell your boss "I found gay porn" and they will be more likely to just let you take it than if you infer that you found something rare or valuable. If your work has a policy of destroying porn on sight then at least smuggle out the rarest ones.

    • Zuzak [fae/faer, she/her]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      I don't know the official policy, but generally everything that isn't an asset or at least metal recycling gets thrown out. We throw out a lot of laptop bags, for example, and even some stuff like graphics cards and drawing tablets are considered scrap, because we deal in bulk and I guess they're too much trouble to deal with, and the offices we resell to generally aren't interested.

      If graphics cards aren't worth the trouble, books definitely aren't, and porn books super extra definitely aren't. However, a lot of the time, when a company wants to get rid of something, they want it in the trash, and not going home with employees. Informally, we can keep stuff like office supplies or stress balls at our desks, but I don't know if that extends to leaving the building, and I've felt awkward about it in the past.

      It doesn't really make sense to me that I could take something like the MHW book and sell it online and make more money than I'd be making in the same time at my job, but instead they'll very likely tell me to just throw it in the garbage. But that's capitalism ig.

  • BabaIsPissed [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    please do, and then scan it and post on hexbear report it to the appropriate authorities :volcel-judge:

  • CommunistBear [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    If you can get away with it: absolutely.

    I'm stealing from work at this very moment by posting and by stealing product and I recommend it to all who aren't paid their fair share, which is everyone

    • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      one retail job I had a manager who thought wasting food was bad so I'd leave every day with a sack of unsold product and they were totally cool about that

      • imtired [none/use name]
        ·
        2 years ago

        I worked with a guy who had a second job at an Atlanta Bread Company, they let him take shit home until they found out he was giving it to homeless people then they fired him.

      • Des [she/her, they/them]
        ·
        2 years ago

        i'm one of those. either us or the food bank. and it sucks because the food bank tends to take the good stuff off the top for themselves. i get it, the volunteers need stuff too but they often grab the expensive items which never makes it to the people recieving. but also food banks are shit and need to be replaced with free grocery stores. also the fucking food bank means tests people. lib shit.
        i tell everyone best ways to get stuff out, but we all have to pretend like we're doing it on our own.

  • Parzivus [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    You gotta post the titles if you get the chance. It is vital to my enjoyment of this story that I can look it up on sadpanda

    • edge [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Based on the description of the cover, the closest thing I could find is 35861. Looks like it has a sequel too: 35860.

  • HornyOnMain
    ·
    2 years ago

    take the gay porn then upload images of it to hexbear