I went in my first date a few days ago and still bummed out because of how bad it was. Or at least how bad I think it was. I feel like I was too serious. Too “to the point.”

  • dualmindblade [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Not a date but once in goddamned high school I was on a school trip and while at lunch, seated across from my crush at the time, took a massive swig of milk, so large I couldn't have swallowed in one gulp, then before that swallow could even occur a quip from some comedy genius caused me to laugh/spit that milk all over them, like out of an old slapstick movie style. I'm like 40 or something now and that doesn't even make the top 20 most traumatic social experiences.

    • ObamaHamburger [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      Despite being depressive and grumpy, I find it that if something can make me laugh, it’ll likely make me laugh uncontrollably many months or years later even during the most inappropriate times.

      Shit this reminded me of a time in elementary school when I was trying to be a menace by flicking food with my spoon in the cafeteria. I mixed my milk with a bunch of diabolical shit like ranch and hot sauce and fruit, then I flicked it. Apparently I was Michael Jordan because it landed in someone’s milk carton across the room and all of a sudden I just hear a loud scream and “WHAT THE FUCK!” and the teachers all rushed to my crush and she said someone put hot sauce in her milk :alex-aware: im so sorry Amanda

      • dualmindblade [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        I apologized profusely right after the incident, and crush was as cool about it as possible and excused themselves immediately. There was a shock and awe component to all witnesses and participants I imagine, some of them longish term friends but I never spoke of it again to any of them lol. Still can't laugh about it personally but I'm happy it gives pleasure when I tell the story!

        Yours, agree it's not funny but lord does that rhyme with a bunch of things I remember doing when I was much younger, and that's among the stuff that occasionally haunts me and invades my internal dialog to this day, so.. empathy and solidarity right back atcha.

    • hahafuck [they/them]
      ·
      2 years ago

      This is reminding me, I had a 3 year long silent burning crush in secondary school, and we had a school trip that involved an altitude change. I got the worst nose bleed of my life which lasted hours and hours, a torrent. With various adults failing to staunch it I was late to lunch, but giving up they lead me into the lunch room. Only seat left was directly in front of them, and with some other sympathetics so I sat, eating nothing. Crush (ugh, how lovely can a person be. It hurts me still) ate while watching me spurt blood through wads of tissue, unable to talk without blood running into my mouth. Visibly disgusted and openly pitying, I have never seen them look so charming, I think one of the longest times we spent together until years later. Later I hocked up a large bloody mucus clump into the sink that made a different classmate run screaming to the others that I had lost an organ or segment of brain.

      I had forgotten that. Thank you