I went in my first date a few days ago and still bummed out because of how bad it was. Or at least how bad I think it was. I feel like I was too serious. Too “to the point.”
Not a date but once in goddamned high school I was on a school trip and while at lunch, seated across from my crush at the time, took a massive swig of milk, so large I couldn't have swallowed in one gulp, then before that swallow could even occur a quip from some comedy genius caused me to laugh/spit that milk all over them, like out of an old slapstick movie style. I'm like 40 or something now and that doesn't even make the top 20 most traumatic social experiences.
Despite being depressive and grumpy, I find it that if something can make me laugh, it’ll likely make me laugh uncontrollably many months or years later even during the most inappropriate times.
Shit this reminded me of a time in elementary school when I was trying to be a menace by flicking food with my spoon in the cafeteria. I mixed my milk with a bunch of diabolical shit like ranch and hot sauce and fruit, then I flicked it. Apparently I was Michael Jordan because it landed in someone’s milk carton across the room and all of a sudden I just hear a loud scream and “WHAT THE FUCK!” and the teachers all rushed to my crush and she said someone put hot sauce in her milk :alex-aware: im so sorry Amanda
I apologized profusely right after the incident, and crush was as cool about it as possible and excused themselves immediately. There was a shock and awe component to all witnesses and participants I imagine, some of them longish term friends but I never spoke of it again to any of them lol. Still can't laugh about it personally but I'm happy it gives pleasure when I tell the story!
Yours, agree it's not funny but lord does that rhyme with a bunch of things I remember doing when I was much younger, and that's among the stuff that occasionally haunts me and invades my internal dialog to this day, so.. empathy and solidarity right back atcha.
This is reminding me, I had a 3 year long silent burning crush in secondary school, and we had a school trip that involved an altitude change. I got the worst nose bleed of my life which lasted hours and hours, a torrent. With various adults failing to staunch it I was late to lunch, but giving up they lead me into the lunch room. Only seat left was directly in front of them, and with some other sympathetics so I sat, eating nothing. Crush (ugh, how lovely can a person be. It hurts me still) ate while watching me spurt blood through wads of tissue, unable to talk without blood running into my mouth. Visibly disgusted and openly pitying, I have never seen them look so charming, I think one of the longest times we spent together until years later. Later I hocked up a large bloody mucus clump into the sink that made a different classmate run screaming to the others that I had lost an organ or segment of brain.
I had forgotten that. Thank you
First date when I was 13 went pretty badly. I had nothing planned and we spent ten minutes sitting on a park bench saying nothing.
Another one was when I got sick and sharted. She had a good sense of humor about it but yeah.
Went on a date last month with a woman from Argentina and she said, "You're the first Guatemalan man I've met that isn't ugly and fat."
had a good sense of humor about it but yeah.
It was her. She was the keeper.
Had a date pull out Mein Kampf during dinner, we chatted, worst head ever.
grift idea: Journals with "Mein Kampf" printed on the cover for chuds who want to write about their personal problems
She referred to an ex-lover of hers with a racial slur. I waited til she used the washroom, settled my half of the bill, and dipped.
Sometimes a girl smiles at me and I get flustered and mumble “…youwannagooutorsomethingidontknow” and she says yes
Sometimes I say hi and smile at a girl sitting next to me and she’ll say hi and smile back. Sometimes we don’t really have a conversation initially, but I just keep saying hi and bye until I get enough confidence.
Maybe I need to come to grips with just how bad my social anxiety is. It got way, way, wayyyy worse during covid.
Worst date was when I didn't realize I was on a date until after the fact. I had been trying to rekindle a friendship but she thought it was more than that, and I actually really liked her so if I wasn't a total dunce maybe I wouldn't have completely fumbled that. I'll never live that one down.
I had a similar story, except I somehow managed to stumble into a relationship.
I wish that was my story, but I didn't realize til at least a week later :bern-disgust:
I managed to not realize it too, but still made a good enough impression to convince her to try again.
We went and watched The Room. It wasn't bad, I've just been on two dates and that was the worse one.
did you watch it on purpose or accidentally stumbled upon it thinking it was a good movie
It was at one of those screenings where people threw spoons and stuff. I'd been into the bad movie circuit before and had watched MST3K and rifftrax and stuff.
Mostly the bad dates I’ve been on have just been boring, felt like interviews.
I did have one particularly bad hookup though, she was absolutely wasted when I got there, and my arm snagged on the cord to her insulin pump 💀
CW: awkward sexual encounter
A first date where I made it clear that I wasn't looking for casual sex but got essentially tricked into going to their place instead of out for dinner, smoking a bunch of weed then going along as they proceeded to get all up on me. Realizing that I'm not comfortable at the point where we are in bed, naked and in the midst of foreplay and then just saying "i have to go" and leaving.
I still cringe because i can't help but imagine how they felt and i doubt i adequately explained myself afterward.
This has happened twice basically the exact same situation.
I'm demi but certainly not ace and it feels very awkward for me to decline sex because I've been conditioned to think that a girl being sexual to me is the same as her liking me romantically. I also really hate making people feel bad and i know that I would feel awful in their shoes.
I do not miss dating.
I can't forget the time I had this really intense date with this woman. She was pretty attractive and we hit it off well. We swapped FB profiles, as people did in the dark ages. I noticed in her profile that she's selling Amway. I'm sorry, but I won't get into a relationship with someone doing an MLM. I tell her this, we argue for a bit, then the whole thing falls apart.
I check her FB profile again next week. She unfriended me. That's cool. But there's lots of pics of a boyfriend that definitely wasn't there last week. They've been together since school. She must have taken a break with him and put all the pics of him on private. Man, how much time did you spend to remove traces of him from your account, only to make them public again.
Did you warn the boyfriend he was dating a Marxist Leninist Maoist ?
Most of the bad dates I've been on were bad in a totally uninteresting way. Just boredom and no chemistry. The closest to an interestingly bad date was when I met this guy for coffee in a Barnes and Noble and he talked SO LOUD. I couldn't think of a nice way to tell him he was too loud, so I just tried talking quieter and quieter, hoping that he would match my tone. Nope, guy is still loud as hell, social cues be damned. Eventually, just when we were about to leave, this older lady comes over to give him a talking to for being too loud in a public area where people are trying to read. We were in our late 20s and she's scolding him like he's a kid. He was really embarrassed and I felt guilty for not trying harder to get him to quiet down. I agreed to a 2nd date just so he wouldn't think I turned him down because of that, but it didn't get any farther than that. We had nothing in common really.
I picked up all the wrong signals from a straight guy and he brought his friends to what I thought was clearly going to be a date. It was a really boring event that I thought would give us downtime to talk, but instead it was like five vaguely bored people, a guy who still didn't realize I was into him, and me. I endured until the event ended (It was an outdoors thing) and we parted ways.
I texted him later and apologized for any misunderstandings, and to his credit, he was cool about everything. The most awkward thing though was that it was at a grocery store that I frequently visited because it was so convenient. And then I started going to the one on the other side of town after that. Like a grown up would do.
The dates went really well, although we were both very weary people, and tired by the end of them, so that just as we said goodnight both of our eyes would grow very heavy, although we would send sweet messages still all the way home and into the night. Best dates of my life but they slowly became less and less frequent. We are almost strangers now. It never got to the point where I felt I could say how I really felt without feeling like it was a manipulation. I still think about them every day for hours. Can't say a word. Its too late now. Its all too late. Also they're a brony lol
I read about half of Homestuck to impress them also. They loved both that and the ponies more than they could ever or ever will love me
