• InevitableSwing [none/use name]
      hexagon
      ·
      2 years ago

      That reminds me of the "new car smell" legal defense that was used effectively in 2010. The judge also agreed with the guilty shmuck's lawyer on another issue. The shmuck had a very high paying job so he shouldn't go to jail so he could more effectively play his victim's medical bills. I also quoted another item worthy of note. He did call somebody after the accident. So maybe he wasn't all bad.

      Legal Defense of the Day: New Car Smell Diminishes Your Capacity to Have A Soul - Above the LawAbove the Law

      Back in November, it was reported that last summer, Morgan Stanley financial adviser Martin Joel Erzinger… had driven over a doctor who was on his bike and then kept going, “until he reached a Pizza Hut parking lot, where he stopped and called Mercedes auto assistance to report the damage to his vehicle.”…

  • ElGosso [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Can't wait for our kids' location history to be leaked to a human trafficking ring because we had the audacity to try to stop them from being hit by a Ford

  • WoofWoof91 [comrade/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    if you drive without being able to see pedestrians near your multi-ton piece of machinery, you shouldn't be driving

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
      hexagon
      ·
      2 years ago

      "Your honor - how can I be legally responsible? I mean - I'm very sorry the guy on his bike died. That's too bad. But my car didn't see him 'cause his cell phone battery was very low. It was all his fault."

      "Excellent point - not guilty."

      • invo_rt [he/him]
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        I was looking at the cycling sub on :reddit-logo: and someone on there was talking about cycling on the street and cresting a hill facing the sun. Apparently, the guy got rear-ended by a car and woke up in the hospital all messed up. The cop at the scene let the driver just leave because they said "oh the sun was in my eyes and I couldn't see the bike."

        :guts-rage:

    • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
      ·
      2 years ago

      The average height of a ford f-150 hood is over six feet tall. I'm only partly joking as lifted trucks are now becoming the standard. So you better get the app on your phone or else that truck is never going to see you. And if you're poor and can't afford a smartphone with a plan then your death is welcome because you're one less mouth to means-test welfare to.

      • WoofWoof91 [comrade/them]
        ·
        2 years ago

        i'm lucky that those huge pickups aren't a thing here, i think they might not even be road legal

        • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
          ·
          2 years ago

          I got one in my town I see on the road every now and then, it's hood is well over the height of an average pedestrian. But then again people don't walk around here as there's no sidewalks (not joking) and no public transportation to speak of.

  • kristina [she/her]
    ·
    2 years ago

    phones put out all sorts of signals, wifi, mobile broadcasting... all the time

    how the hell is there not a sensor that can just detect that normally

    • VILenin [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      That sensor is called your fucking eyes and they'd work properly if motherfuckers didn't buy their Ford F-69420s that take up three lanes and have a 10 meter suspension.

    • FireworksAtTheVA [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      https://www.seattletimes.com/business/technology/a-man-walked-down-a-street-with-99-phones-in-a-wagon-google-maps-thought-it-was-a-traffic-jam/?amp=1

    • Sinonatrix [comrade/them]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Hijacking luxury cars while tech bros sleep in them is the cyberpunk future I want

      If they think catalytic converter theft is bad then wait until gangs find a five minute method to steal their precious battery packs

  • SoyViking [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    New rule: America can't issue driver's licences anymore. Burgerlanders who wants to drive will have to go to the Netherlands to learn and take the test there.

    Also, any Yankee who wants a car has to convince a panel of Dutch bicycle activists that the car they intend to buy is not too large for their needs.

    • hahafuck [they/them]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Americans start driving at 14 and get lisences at 15 or 16, so it would be a bad idea to send them to a country so full of pedophiles. Denmark maybe, good cycling there too

      • SoyViking [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        Danish car culture is more chuddy than the Dutch (but nowhere near as chuddy as American). A better solution to the Dutch nonce problem would be simply to wait to go there for your driver's license until your too old to be of relevance to the nonces. No 14 year old ought to be controlling a two ton death machine anyways.

      • jkfjfhkdfgdfb [she/her]
        ·
        2 years ago

        it would be a bad idea to send them to a country so full of pedophiles

        but aren't they already in one?

        • hahafuck [they/them]
          ·
          2 years ago

          America is very spread out so unless you go to one of the classic pedophile spots (PNW, Florida, Las Vegas, new england, etc) or have cousins you don't encounter them so much, the Netherlands is all very tightly bunched up, all the pedophiles are stacked on top of each other

  • fox [comrade/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Gonna put a bunch of sensor beacons into potholes and fill them so Ford cars slam the brakes when they get near

  • UlyssesT [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    In bad crumbling empire, people had to buy special fire department markers or else the private fire department would let their house burn down.

  • nat_turner_overdrive [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Offensive countermeasures are necessary. We need spoofers that can make cars slam on their brakes because of a radar or IR signature. I want to be able to force cars in the lanes on either side of me to give the most space possible via jammers and blinders mounted on my motorcycle.

  • Multihedra [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Yeah I’ll pirate these and throw them across various roadways nbd