Another important thing and why i wrote "passing and pretty" is that a lot of trans people, especially transfems, conflate passing and being conventionally attractive. Sure, both are nice, both are obvious goals, but these aren't the same. You can look like shit and still pass perfectly, you can be hot af and be immediately clockable. A lot of transfems don't get that. They don't just aim to look like a girl, they aim to look like some influencer. I don't go for that, i'm not a teenage girl, i'm a fat old lesbian and my goal is looking like a fat old lesbian, not only because that's easier to achieve than being mfing ContraPoints, but because a fat old lesbian is who i am and it's cool as hell. I don't have to be attractive to some cishet guy who is doing sexuality by the numbers and struggles with being horny for somebody his bros would consider to just be a 6/10, in fact it's a massive advantage for me when i am invisible to that person and am instead attractive in a way that mostly works on queer women with severe mommy issues.