but there's not fucking way my dorky ass is getting up on any podium. I don't even like giving presentations at college!
One of my quirks is that I have basically no issues with stage fright at all, despite having some pretty severe social anxiety otherwise. I think it's because the dynamics of giving a presentation are radically different compared to a one-on-one conversation or a group conversation: there's no turn-taking or backchanneling or eye contact or subtle body language to pay attention to, no chances of mishearing something because my ears couldn't filter the background noise from the interlocutor's speech, just me and my script and the knowledge that I have more or less full authority in that situation. Of course I know that there are things that one can and should do as a presenter, just as there are things that one can and should do as someone listening to a presentation, but following those norms and gauging audience attentiveness are nonetheless much easier than conversation, and so I guess a presentation simply feels less "risky".
That said, I personally know people who have 200x more Thomas Sankara Energy than me. So although I have no issues with getting up on a podium, and people do compliment me on my abilities as a writer and presenter... I still have neither the political knowledge nor the charisma nor the other essential skills to personally be the symbolic head of a revolution. The only way that could happen is if I delegated away every responsibility BUT the podium, not even writing my own speeches (probably editing or co-authoring them though); and even then I'd still only be something like the third choice at best and only out of the people I personally know in real life.
So I have no delusions of being Lenin 2.0, no, I'm the little enbitch who you see when Lenin 2.0 had to call in sick and couldn't give a speech for the opening of a refrigerator factory. And that's good enough for me: every position should be filled by the one best suited for it.
I'm now waiting tables, and I do a pretty good job of engaging people in witty banter and shit, despite the fact I'm an awkward mess in many social situations.
Why is that? Because I've been masking my neurodivergence for so long that I just treat it as a performance. I have an answer ready for most things, I can fake friendliness no problem. I put up a facade and go be charming for a few hours. It's exhausting at the end of the day, but it's the only way I know how.
Damn I’m jealous of people who can publicly speak well. I basically blackout, forget any preparation, and ramble. To me it’s like if everyone is paying attention to you, you better have something really important to say and you better say it well. I cannot handle that kind of social pressure
My weird quirk is that I absolutely love presenting, especially lecturing or teaching. But as soon as I see one person not paying attention I get totally taken out of it, and would rather be doing anything else. Like, I don’t think it’s rude, and I don’t take it personally, but it pulls me out of my flow state and kind of bums me out for the rest of the day.
That's why one of the tricks they teach you about public speaking is picking one person and talking to them specifically. It helps if the person is engaged, but it kind of diffused the need to control a whole crowd.
I think that trick is more to overcome the anxiety of speaking to a group. I’m constantly scanning the group to get an idea of what level engagement is at, and if I’m losing people or if my efforts to be at least a little more entertaining are working or I need to try something else.
It’s definitely not a control or anxiety thing, being ignored is a trigger probably from some childhood shit where I would info dump my latest interest and get ignored by my parents. Giving a training to people just to be ignored feels the exact same, even though rationally I know it isn’t.
I see, yeah. It sounds like you're a very competent speaker already, so I believe you can work on that issue! (hope this doesn't come off as condescending or anything, I'm tired and trying to be positive)
It’s such a weird thing, I have a hard time explaining it without just sounding like I’m an asshole, so most advice is like, don’t be an asshole.
I know it’s a me problem, if it ever gets bad I just take a break and refocus, and most of the time even a quick ten minutes gets everyone else reset and focusing again too. If there’s a really egregious individual I try and one on one with them during the break and ask what’s up, but ironically I have terrible one on one social anxiety.
I get the blackout part, I've played in numerous bands and can remember setting up for and breaking down live sets but can't recall any performances for the life of me, even ones I was sober enough to do so. Any time I've seen videos of sets I've played it's like other people do it. I don't fuck up or anything, I just enter a fugue state. Same happens for me with public speaking, I think doing school in French and doing a lot of presentations and stuff in a foreign language made me very relaxed when doing the same in English, cause if there's one thing I'm really confident with, it's the English language. I still feel like a bumbling doofus but once again, if I play a recording or whatever, I sound great, I'll be mad at myself for thinking of better ways to say stuff after, like how you only think of a good comeback hours after the insult, but as far as form goes it's fine. Ya might be better than you think
I still have neither the political knowledge nor the charisma nor the other essential skills to personally be the symbolic head of a revolution.
yeah, I could do like anything on a stage (dance, sing, act, etc.), except come across as a debate winner or good politician, IDK it just doesn't come out of me.
One of my quirks is that I have basically no issues with stage fright at all, despite having some pretty severe social anxiety otherwise. I think it's because the dynamics of giving a presentation are radically different compared to a one-on-one conversation or a group conversation: there's no turn-taking or backchanneling or eye contact or subtle body language to pay attention to, no chances of mishearing something because my ears couldn't filter the background noise from the interlocutor's speech, just me and my script and the knowledge that I have more or less full authority in that situation. Of course I know that there are things that one can and should do as a presenter, just as there are things that one can and should do as someone listening to a presentation, but following those norms and gauging audience attentiveness are nonetheless much easier than conversation, and so I guess a presentation simply feels less "risky".
That said, I personally know people who have 200x more Thomas Sankara Energy than me. So although I have no issues with getting up on a podium, and people do compliment me on my abilities as a writer and presenter... I still have neither the political knowledge nor the charisma nor the other essential skills to personally be the symbolic head of a revolution. The only way that could happen is if I delegated away every responsibility BUT the podium, not even writing my own speeches (probably editing or co-authoring them though); and even then I'd still only be something like the third choice at best and only out of the people I personally know in real life.
So I have no delusions of being Lenin 2.0, no, I'm the little enbitch who you see when Lenin 2.0 had to call in sick and couldn't give a speech for the opening of a refrigerator factory. And that's good enough for me: every position should be filled by the one best suited for it.
I'm now waiting tables, and I do a pretty good job of engaging people in witty banter and shit, despite the fact I'm an awkward mess in many social situations.
Why is that? Because I've been masking my neurodivergence for so long that I just treat it as a performance. I have an answer ready for most things, I can fake friendliness no problem. I put up a facade and go be charming for a few hours. It's exhausting at the end of the day, but it's the only way I know how.
sounds like me, but replace the witty banter with awkward silence
Damn I’m jealous of people who can publicly speak well. I basically blackout, forget any preparation, and ramble. To me it’s like if everyone is paying attention to you, you better have something really important to say and you better say it well. I cannot handle that kind of social pressure
My weird quirk is that I absolutely love presenting, especially lecturing or teaching. But as soon as I see one person not paying attention I get totally taken out of it, and would rather be doing anything else. Like, I don’t think it’s rude, and I don’t take it personally, but it pulls me out of my flow state and kind of bums me out for the rest of the day.
That's why one of the tricks they teach you about public speaking is picking one person and talking to them specifically. It helps if the person is engaged, but it kind of diffused the need to control a whole crowd.
oh no, now I can't listen to speeches, what if I'm the person the speaker chooses to specifically talk at???
I think that trick is more to overcome the anxiety of speaking to a group. I’m constantly scanning the group to get an idea of what level engagement is at, and if I’m losing people or if my efforts to be at least a little more entertaining are working or I need to try something else.
It’s definitely not a control or anxiety thing, being ignored is a trigger probably from some childhood shit where I would info dump my latest interest and get ignored by my parents. Giving a training to people just to be ignored feels the exact same, even though rationally I know it isn’t.
I see, yeah. It sounds like you're a very competent speaker already, so I believe you can work on that issue! (hope this doesn't come off as condescending or anything, I'm tired and trying to be positive)
Not at all, thank you!
It’s such a weird thing, I have a hard time explaining it without just sounding like I’m an asshole, so most advice is like, don’t be an asshole.
I know it’s a me problem, if it ever gets bad I just take a break and refocus, and most of the time even a quick ten minutes gets everyone else reset and focusing again too. If there’s a really egregious individual I try and one on one with them during the break and ask what’s up, but ironically I have terrible one on one social anxiety.
I get the blackout part, I've played in numerous bands and can remember setting up for and breaking down live sets but can't recall any performances for the life of me, even ones I was sober enough to do so. Any time I've seen videos of sets I've played it's like other people do it. I don't fuck up or anything, I just enter a fugue state. Same happens for me with public speaking, I think doing school in French and doing a lot of presentations and stuff in a foreign language made me very relaxed when doing the same in English, cause if there's one thing I'm really confident with, it's the English language. I still feel like a bumbling doofus but once again, if I play a recording or whatever, I sound great, I'll be mad at myself for thinking of better ways to say stuff after, like how you only think of a good comeback hours after the insult, but as far as form goes it's fine. Ya might be better than you think
yeah, I could do like anything on a stage (dance, sing, act, etc.), except come across as a debate winner or good politician, IDK it just doesn't come out of me.