Johnson, 45, is an ultrawealthy software entrepreneur who has more than 30 doctors and health experts monitoring his every bodily function. The team, led by 29-year-old regenerative medicine physician Oliver Zolman, has committed to help reverse the aging process in every one of Johnson’s organs....
This year, he’s on track to spend at least $2 million on his body. He wants to have the brain, heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, tendons, teeth, skin, hair, bladder, penis and rectum of an 18-year-old.
:libertarian-alert:
On the yuck side, I also had to eat a mound of vegetables that had been pureed into a gray-brown goop. Once upon a time, it consisted of black lentils, broccoli, cauliflower, mushrooms, garlic, ginger root, lime, cumin, apple cider vinegar, hemp seeds and olive oil, all of which sound fine on their own. But when put together and blended, it felt and tasted like dirt paste.
wtf just a eat a salad why blend this
After dinner, father and son watched as I inserted my arm into a cardiac health monitor on Johnson’s kitchen island. The machine buzzed and whirred for a few seconds, then reported back that my ticker—at least by one measure—wasn’t that far off Johnson’s. It felt like a small victory for paunchy 45-year-old Scotch lovers everywhere.
owned
The more popular this type of lifestyle becomes, the cheaper and more readily available some of the procedures Johnson tries might be. “If you say that you want to live forever or defeat aging, that’s bad—it’s a rich person thing,” Johnson says. “If it’s more akin to a professional sport, it’s entertainment. It has the virtues of establishing standards and protocols. It benefits everyone in a systemic way.”
:doubt:
Bloomberg previously wrote about this guy's brainwave helmet in 2021 https://archive.is/KVccl
an extremely efficient use of 30+ doctors and health experts' time and ability, to be sure. what a tremendous healthcare system capitalism has constructed.
What is with these freaks. Just be human what's the fuckin problem. Also your totally living with the body of an 18yr old when you need 30 drs to constantly test, operate, and monitor you.
Oh ya finally I can live forever as an 18 year old as long as I never detach myself from this byzantine mesh of sensors, tubes, and medicines. Cool dude.
We're gonna end up with a bunch of Mr. House guys
Just sealed up in pods like a bunch of mummies, still managing to ruin everyone else's lives with their robots and goons and shit
Each morning starting at 5 a.m., Johnson takes two dozen supplements and medicines. There’s lycopene for artery and skin health; metformin to prevent bowel polyps; turmeric, black pepper and ginger root for liver enzymes and to reduce inflammation; zinc to supplement his vegan diet; and a microdose of lithium for, he says, brain health.
ah yes. brain health. definitely unrelated to maintaining what appears to be a 10 year long manic episode:
He’s taken 33,537 images of his bowels
He blasts his pelvic floor with electromagnetic pulses to improve muscle tone in hard-to-reach places and has a device that counts the number of his nighttime erections.
To repair sun damage to his skin, Johnson applies seven daily creams and gets weekly acid peels and laser therapy, and he’s begun staying out of the sun.
he’s begun staying out of the sun.
Bruh I do that for free I don't need 20 doctors and 50 butt creames for that
has a device that counts the number of his nighttime erections
:what:
To repair sun damage to his skin, Johnson applies seven daily creams and gets weekly acid peels and laser therapy, and he’s begun staying out of the sun.
This guy is going to get a totally unique form of skin cancer in ten years, and everyone who told him to regularly hit himself with acid and lasers will :shocked-pikachu:
totally 100%. all i could think reading this is like, i get limiting your exposure to the sun and trying to take care of it as an organ by staying hydrated, doing a routine sweat, etc. but like all this other shit is experimental as hell.
like if he doesn't slip on the floor after one of his daily cream applications and and crack his dome, he's definitely going to get some kind of novel disorder from any number of these things.
like "oh, it turns out if you get MRI'd more than 10,000 times, the polarity of your neurons can flip and your brain, instead of generating thoughts, converts itself to a thick, salty foam over the course of 96 hours.
I also don't understand why these rich people go onto these weird ass diets only to supplement. Surely he can afford vegan whole foods rich in zinc? Some pumpkin seeds, cashews, or oats? But no he's grinding some weird ass smoothie. What's the point on going on such weird diets if it can't even provide all the nutrients your body needs?
he’s begun staying out of the sun.
Obviously sun damage is real, but you need vitamin D. Your skin needs to be exposed to some UV rays. Your eyes need to see actual sunlight so your sleep cycle stays in check.
Even then, this guy could just add foodstuffs that contain the nutrients to his soylent style smoothie cocktail! It's not like he'll notice an extra few seeds or nuts ground up in it lmao. I just don't understand it, especially these social media influencers that go on these diets and then have a wall of pills and supplements behind them. At that point surely it's more complex and less efficient than just eating.
And this is coming from me, a guy that chugs down a 1000 calorie concoction of meal replacement cereal, peanut butter, fruit and milk every morning!
a 1000 calorie concoction of meal replacement cereal, peanut butter, fruit and milk every morning!
damn, that sounds good!
QAnon poisoned the well when it comes to billionaires drinking baby blood to stay young in only accusing the democrats of doing it.
More accurate headline: Idiot moron squanders $2 million annually on bullshit health grift, doesn't even have anything to show for it
Jesus Christ there are days when I'm tempted to jump out of actual medicine and do these fucking grifts like selling dried tomato dust for your colon health or others BS
This shit don't work lmao, sleeping 8-9 hours a day, getting some sun, wearing sunscreen on exposed skin for the rest of the time, exercise, and maintaining a healthy weight and body fat percentage will give you better results than a billionaire grift.
And healthcare when something inevitably goes wrong, that's the big reason rich people live longer.
How can we reverse aging on organs when we can’t even repair organs?
The hexbear guide to beating aging;
- Apply lotion
- Brush your teeth with fluoride toothpaste, no rinse
- Eat vegetal :bean:
- Cardio exercise, don't sit too much if you can help it
- Watch your blood pressure and triglycerides
- Don't smoke
Am I missing anything?
I'm basically vegan now because I'm too anxious/stressed to make food. Complete nutrition vegan shakes are cheaper than non vegan ones so :shrug-outta-hecks: Used to be that I had to drink milk all the time cause of my stress issues but the shakes are nearing parity with milk when bought in bulk and accounting for inflation and frozen or stored air tight
As soon as good vegan options for fish are out I'd be 100% unironically vegan all the time. For now I eat some fish on special occasions with the bf for dinner. Though fabricated meat is making it look like low fat fabricated fish and chicken will be a reality in grocery stores soon
quick reminder that eating plant-based isn't the same as being vegan. Vegans reject all animal commodification such as pieces of corpses (leather, feathers), animal testing (impossible burgers, cosmetics brands that sell in China) and zoos/horse riding.
quick reminder that eating plant-based isn't the same as being vegan. Vegans reject all animal commodification such as pieces of corpses (leather, feathers), animal testing (impossible burgers, cosmetics brands that sell in China) and zoos/horse riding.
If your face is a little puffy you put on an ice mask as you do your morning praxis (you can do 1000 now :bateman-ontological: )
Watch your blood pressure
how? should I pay for a home monitor thingy?
It's supposed to be one of the top killers, so it might not be a bad idea :shrug-outta-hecks:
You could also check it at the doctor, or your local walmart if they have one of those stationary ones, or you might find an old style sphygmominometer at the thrift store really cheap.or your local walmart if they have one of those stationary ones
They used to, but it seems to have vanished since the covid revolution.
will look into home sphygmomanometers
It's worth it just so you can call it a "sphygmomanometer" If you're anything like me you will look for any opportunity to use the word.
I mean in theory I'm not against this. Like it sucks when a 19 year old can bounce back from a sports injury after like 3 months when it would take almost a year (plus many more months of daily physical therapy) for someone a little older. It also sucks that they can eat like shit and drink like all night and then get up the next day with barely any hangover and do shit the next day. Or how young people don't need tons of lotion to keep their skin nice.
I know ppl clown on the idea cuz it's always the rich and powerful silicon valley types that are into it, but sometimes biology just isn't fair. In some ways I consider it a form of discrimination: like why are some ppl tall and others short, why do some keep their hair and why do others lose it, etc. If there was a pill or injection (or series of pills/injections) that essentially "tricked" your genes into thinking they were always 25 (or 22, or whatever age) then it would be kinda nice. Not from a beauty standpoint but looking at overall health, since aging is also linked to things like cancer, heart disease, etc. I know it's cliche that "youth is wasted on the young," but it's kinda true. Like you have a much more sturdy body but not enough experience on how to best enjoy it.
I can't help but think that a lot of leftist pushback on this is simply contrarianism or a (rightful) critique of capitalist inequality in terms of health. But imagine if Cuba or China came up with youth extension and/or age reversal technologies that were simple and safe? What would the opinion be then?
Real age reversal in humans is probably going to show up in our lifetimes. There's experiments being done on mice that reverse DNA damage and restore actual physical youth.
I don't know how a communist world squares the circle of possible immortality but I know in a capitalist one it means the only way billionaires will die is by :gui-better:
The metaphorical blood sucking vampires are going to become actual blood sucking vampires (in that they will be immortal, they've already got blood boys)
I don't understand how rich people keep falling for this. History is littered with wealthy people who've spent (and, often, shortened) their lives on the quest for eternal youth.
But this blesses immortal who is definitely actually 300 years old has crafted me a suit of finest jade that will preserve my body
It benefits everyone in a systemic way.”
Ah yes... Trickle down immortality :thonk:
Critical support for grifting rich people out of their money with disgusting vegetable smoothies and tanning beds that don't actually tan your skin. Seriously this all seems about as scientifically sound as supplement culture - but it's for rich people so the big expensive machines are the point.
