After some recent bullshit they pulled in which they absolutely refused to even entertain a thought process of culpability, I realized that I couldn't remember an instance where they admitted they fucked up. I'm not talking about small little shit (even those apologies are super rare though), I mean important shit. Is this a boomer parent thing? A parent-child dynamic? Something else?
In my experience, :grillman: conveniently don't remember the fuck ups. Whether they choose not to remember or simply didn't care enough to file fuck ups in a recallable way is unknown to me.
Ohhh jeez yeah, that's a big one for me too - "I don't remember that."
My boomer father has moved past this and now just makes obvious lies up about his life and then gets angry if someone calls him out on it.
I was absolutely shocked when my mom apologized for some stuff that happened almost 20 years before (for context, I’m in my mid-30’s), but my partner’s mom never apologized for anything, even on her deathbed.
Ooof, well hope beyond hope I get some of those apologies before deathbed ... :-/
I think it's more common with conservative parents, think it's "beneath them" to apologize to their property aka child.
the most people usually get from their parents is "I did the best I could at the time"
Which is probably somewhat honest, their parents likely fucked them up even worse and their generation seemed to lack a language of self reflection
Never an admission of fuck ups, though they are willing to acknowledge some things were hard. Granted to be fair, a lot of the shit I carry really wasn't their fault (history, as Fred Jameson says, is what hurts). Instead, it's just having to live through the same shitty things they also had to deal with.
My mom sort of apologized once for things being hard which is honestly more than I've ever expected.
I think there's a generational resistance, but they can move towards it.
I hope you get some closure eventually comrade
I have basically zero relationship with my parents but I absolutely believe they did the best that they could. They weren't complete people, how can I hold anything against them?
lol you too? I don't even have a bad relationship with my parents, but I don't think my dad has ever apologized to me for anything, ever.
My reaction to this in 2 acts
:miyazaki-laugh:
:thinking-about-it:
Not only that, I can only remember a single time one of my parents apologized to me
