Ummmm... uhhhhh... Toasters!

That's right toasters are reactionary! Using energy to make your bread crispy, bourgeoise decadence! Really all forms of baking are counter revolutionary, communists should only eat oatmeal!

Okay, fight about it.

Edit: we'll now that enough people have commented, I want to make a snarky edit bemoaning the fact that anyone here would disagree with me. I'm really let down by this community for not validating ever take I have and will probably stop participating here for like two days before resuming posting as much as ever.

      • Pandantic@midwest.social
        ·
        1 month ago

        Hard agree, Vaporeon was one of my Elite 4 battle team and a long time favorite before anyone wanted to fuck it (back when literally 96% of pokemon were genderless). Now I can’t express that Vaporeon is a top 5 favorite without someone questioning my motives!

      • Elon_Musk [none/use name]
        ·
        1 month ago

        Do not click this link and do not scroll until you see Vaporeon https://twitter.com/AwfulButGreat

    • Diuretic_Materialism [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      1 month ago

      Pokémon is reactionary. Catching animals to make them fight for human entertainment? Wtf?

  • Xx_Aru_xX [she/her]
    ·
    1 month ago

    Nah toasters are fucking bullshit devices, you're telling me that you seriously need a device that burns a specific type of bread which is already cooked an wrapped in plastic? y'all couldn't fit this specific thing into a tool with multiple purposes? like I'm pretty sure you can toast toast bread using just a pan, extremely niche bullshit that until very recently I thought only existed in cartoons

    • ReadFanon [any, any]
      ·
      1 month ago

      For real tho, I have a toaster oven that has an air fryer (and dehydrator!) function. I don't have a toaster.

      I think watt for watt it probably uses up a bit more electricity, but I'm not a big bread or toast guy anyway and my kitchen is tiny so I'm happy with my choice.

      Let me tell you, though, buttering your bread before you toast it is one of life's little luxuries that most people are oblivious to (except for when they bake individual slices of garlic bread). Shit gets borderline croissant-esque and if you hit the correct temp, fan speed, and distance from the elements you can actually brown your butter while you toast your bread which elevates it to an entirely different level. It's the most gourmet toast ever.

      (I think I've just argued for why toasters are proletarian and whatever the hell I'm doing is bougie.)

      • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]
        ·
        edit-2
        1 month ago

        New struggle session: if food is tasty enough it becomes bourgeois

      • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
        ·
        1 month ago

        I have a cheap used toaster that I use on rare occasions I just wanna eat toast. It's faster and uses way less electricity but otherwise I'm using my oven.

      • ped_xing [he/him]
        ·
        1 month ago

        I had that idea when I was a kid and put buttered bread into our standard toaster resting on its side. I'm not 100% on what happened. There wasn't a fire but I also didn't keep doing that. Maybe the accumulated crumbs scattered on/next to the heating elements started smoking and I cut the experiment short? Maybe I'll try again with my toaster oven.

    • Dolores [love/loves]
      ·
      1 month ago

      a specific type of bread which is already cooked an wrapped in plastic

      the bread slicer has saved more proletarian labor-hours than the steam engine!

  • JayTwo [any]
    ·
    1 month ago

    If you don't make your morning toast over the flames of a burning cop car you're a liberal.
    No exceptions.

  • 2Password2Remember [he/him]
    ·
    1 month ago

    toaster ovens are superior to toasters in every way except for taking up more counter space

    Death to America

    • ReadFanon [any, any]
      ·
      edit-2
      1 month ago

      I'm already cluttering up this thread so I'll keep it brief but if you have the option, a toaster oven that has an air fryer function makes it 100% justifiable imo.

      • 2Password2Remember [he/him]
        ·
        edit-2
        1 month ago

        air frying is just convection fam, most toaster ovens are gonna have that

        Death to America

  • Big_Bob [any]
    ·
    1 month ago

    Tongue condoms are reactionary. A real revolutionary eats the pussy raw.

  • RNAi [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    1 month ago

    You made a solid point, oatmeal and cooked yeast should be the only allowed meal for subtropicaloids like most anglos

      • Pandantic@midwest.social
        ·
        1 month ago

        I'm just trying to stick it to the man by buying discount bread in bulk and freezing it to keep its freshness! They didn't expect me to do that, they thought I would buy one because it's expiring soon! Take that corporate pig dogs!

  • gaycomputeruser [she/her]
    ·
    1 month ago

    The word reactionary us reactionary because it was "created" in reaction to reactionaries.

  • theposterformerlyknownasgood
    ·
    1 month ago

    Oh yeah you want a hot take. You want to start shit? Rice cookers are bourgeois. Use a pot like Allah intended

    • Palacegalleryratio [he/him]
      cake
      ·
      1 month ago

      Get a load of this bourgeoisie fat cat, with the money to fire up his entire oven to make toast. Where’d you get that money? Stolen surplus value I’ll wager.

  • Zodiark [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    1 month ago

    I think we should discuss that the power dynamics of what makes the toaster possible to build, operate, and distribute itself.

    One could argue that the toaster, in its very function, represents a resistance to progress and a reversion to more primitive means of food preparation. For is not the act of slowly browning bread over an open flame a vestige of a bygone era, before the advent of advanced cooking technologies?

    Furthermore, the toaster's reliance on simplistic, mechanical controls could be seen as a rejection of the sophisticated, digital interfaces that have come to define modern appliances. This adherence to a more rudimentary design aesthetic may be interpreted as a reactionary stance against the relentless march of technological innovation.

    Additionally, the toaster's ubiquity in households across the societal spectrum could be viewed as a symbol of cultural stagnation - a stubborn refusal to embrace novel culinary methods or innovative food preparation appliances. In this light, the toaster becomes a bastion of the status quo, resisting the transformative forces of culinary progress.

    Yet, one might also contend that the toaster, in its humble efficiency and widespread acceptance, represents a pragmatic compromise between tradition and modernity. For is it not the role of the toaster to strike a balance, to provide a reliable and accessible means of transforming the humble slice of bread into a delectable, golden-hued delight?

    In the end, Toasters are reactionary only in the reactionary's hands.