Is it someone you see and immediately want to make out with/fuck? Because if I see someone who is aesthetically pleasing/interesting, I make the decision to try to get to know them as a person before I escalate things further. And I’m starting to think this is atypical because my track record isn’t great.
Is that just a long-winded way to describe an average crush? Does it vary from person to person?
Crushes kinda suck. Its very natural and human to fall into one but depending on the severity they can warp reality for you.
Unfortunately I have had a few severe crushes in life and I regret them all. But something that seems consistent (but not always) with them is youth and naivety. When you are really young its very easy to develop a crush but when you get older and have more experience (and less raging hormones) you identify the difference between a crush and genuine love. Though intense attraction still happens, you understand it and control it better so it doesn't take over all your thought and motivation.
To be honest though it could be just me having bad experience. I am a bit jealous of people who had a crazy intense crush in highschool/college and ended up with them as a life long romantic partner. Essentially they got to experience a movie romance but in real life. To have your intense feelings validated, forgiven, and loved is wonderful. But its also not something that I think you can will into existence. Some people just get lucky, otherwise crushes end up as a painful trap your brain puts itself in.
I would prefer to not have one ever again. But I know I don't need one if I am looking for love.
Most of my “crushes” as I get older stem from the fact that I meet someone in passing who seems cool, but then they just kinda disappear. I’m convinced this wouldn’t really happen if I had a social life offline