Is it someone you see and immediately want to make out with/fuck? Because if I see someone who is aesthetically pleasing/interesting, I make the decision to try to get to know them as a person before I escalate things further. And I’m starting to think this is atypical because my track record isn’t great.
Is that just a long-winded way to describe an average crush? Does it vary from person to person?
It's a broad term that encompasses a wide range of infatuation/intense attraction toward someone you aren't in a relationship with (yet). IMO they can be triggered by (the beginning of) a genuine connection, or can mostly be projection mixed with physical attraction (I imagine shit is kinda different for ace and/or aro people, that's pretty outside my experience range so I won't speak to that). When you're in the thick of one it can be hard to tell which is which, in my experience (and it can also be a mix of both, like you sense genuine potential there but also you are filling in the blanks with your own idealized shit).
Spoiler tag for boring personal details (and also low but non-zero chance people I know could find this account):
spoiler
My longest term relationship started as a crush but I kinda backburned it for a while because they were seeing someone when we met. Once that relationship ended we got together but by that point the attraction/connection had settled into something more level & realistic (not a bad thing at all). Also kinda in one rn with someone I befriended circumstantially in the last few months. Thought I maybe sensed reciprocity there for a second but lately been sensing distance so kinda trying to throw water on it a bit.
They can honestly be kinda unpleasant and can become unhealthy if you lack self awareness/self control. But they can also be the start of something really good and meaningful. They can also be hell if you get one while yr in a monogamous relationship and you and your partner aren't on the same page about the degree to which attraction outside the relaysh is normal/healthy/harmless.