I don't understand why people try to frame compliments in such a weird ass way. Just say "I like your hair, it's pretty 😁" that's it. BOOM! You have done it. You gave a normal regular compliment and probably made the other person feel good about how they look.
It's so weird people put needless (and most likely rude) qualifiers. Second option, just quietly appreciate the nuanced and unique beauty of another person, you don't need to say shit. You can just shut the fuck up. That's allowed.
It may not be conscious on the part of the white woman in this example, but this type of compliment is doubling as a way for her to give herself a healthy lib pat on the back compliment for being an ally or whatever
God those people are the WORST! It's using an opportunity to be nice and decent to another person but you find a way to actually make it about yourself (the rhetorical yourself, not you you the commenter). I hate that shit, cause decency is sadly rare these days, and finding a way to present it to someone and then take it away is just vile and scummy.
Going off a tangent but this arrogant self-centering and posturing is such a quintessentially westoid attitude
Will the west declining cure them of this poisonous chauvinism?
When the food runs short thore quintessential wertoids lack ability to share with others will likely cause some curing to happen.
Crackers attempting to say anything normal about black people challenge
I learned to do this while studying a second language. I had to rely on simple words and I've grown fond of them even in my mother tongue (USSR Russian).
Counterpoint to option 2: complimenting people is actually cool and good, so long as you're normal. Caveat: if you're cis-het-male presenting, maybe it won't be as well received. But above all, just be normal.
im a normal dude who gives compliments all the time. it literally is just as simple as be normal, in my experience. ive said "I love your hair!" to black women verbatim before (and also other women but just considering the context here), and they were like "thanks!" and we moved on with our lives.
One of my friends who is a person of Indian heritage born in the West told me about how his KKKraker job interviewer once said "you speak great English" and without missing a beat he replied "thanks, so do you."
He got the job.
This white lady definitely took down the "In this house, we believe:" placard from her lawn when she got home.
It's common for black women to wear wigs to have long, straight hair even if their natural hair is very curly and poofy, like an afro. This is the result of western beauty standards imposing themselves on people who aren't white.
The black woman is complimented by a white woman for daring to defy western beauty standards to wear her natural hair. The black woman then responds that it must take confidence for the white woman to wear her natural hair as well. Basically saying, "I'm not wearing a wig, but you should be." It's a good clap back.
The black woman is complimented by a white woman for daring to defy western beauty standards to wear her natural hair. The black woman then responds that it must take confidence for the white woman to wear her natural hair as well.
A great and straightforward explanation! 👍🏾
Also it's not just wigs.. Hair relaxers can be very harsh chemicals that can burn your scalp. So it's a lot to ask somebody or require that they straighten it. But some schools and work places still do.
some schools and work places still do.
My gut reaction to that was "WTF that's bullshit no way they could force people to straighten their hair!?" and then I thought about it for 0.00005 seconds and was like "Yeah of course they would."
The good news is that increasingly, those that do get roasted in the press and even protested. But yeah, 10+ years ago it was much more common.
The dems attempted to pass a law banning this in 2022, but they failed to pass it before midterms. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/CROWN_Act_of_2022
Creating a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair - CROWN
this one is just 5/10 honestly
Imagine being in 2024 and still doing performative hair discourse.
