Honestly, micro-aggressions are my main issue. Macro-aggressions? Certainly. But micro-aggressions accumulate. "Death by a thousand cuts" and all that. I've heard of NAMI. If they cater and affirm to Autistic as well as queer people, then I'll try them out.
Heard of Burning Man as well. I'll check 'em out too.
Thanks for the links, btw!
I will (edit: not "won't" but "will") do the heavy lifting of research, but if anyone has any pointers, that would be good to know.
Seriously, Google or Bing searches don't really cut it anymore; they barely show you the goddamn thing you need compared to previously where it was just kinda random.
searx given the instance can let you set what search engines you use.. it's also privacy focused
Yandex seems less manipulated than Google or Bing in my experience (but I'm also not in Russia) as in they don't hide links so much so you'll get a wider range of links but that goes for everything..
Yeah, the internet has gone to shit. The microaggressions from strangers don't bother me so much. People who said they love me that practically ignore me now that I'm out hurts :( But the ratio of support to hate has been way tilted towards support. Surrounding myself with queer joy and people who love seeing that joy has made it much easier.
And you're very welcome! I hope you find a space you can feel safe being you! And yes, NAMI is good with autism! Burners are good with all sorts of neurospiciness too! Though, the parties can be loud and it might not be your thing, (I skip a lot of the parties myself) the community still does a lot of fun stuff if you hook up with the local scene.
Frankly, when you get micro-aggressions daily, it accumulates, especially if you're going through a hard time.
And yeah, it feels like my biggest fear is that, when I'm out, even some trans folks won't love me. They'll always view me as what I am now, not what I could become, or not what I always was. You know how it is. Sometimes, I feel like I won't be accepted either way and then I despair, but lately, I've been meaning to at least push through, you know?
We've been gas lit by a lot of propaganda. Trans people have been incredibly inclusive. I've experienced no gatekeeping.
If your desire to transition is great enough that you're weighing it against microaggressions and all of that, you're trans. Cis people don't do that.
microaggression yesterday that hurt and how I cope
My favorite aunt vomited the family shame up on my facebook last night. It hurt. It still hurts. I made an initial defensive response, deleted it, and took the time to try to educate her (and anyone else reading). Pretending I don't prefer feminine things was literally killing me. I choose life, I told her. And I hope you prefer a joyful niece over a suicidal nephew.
But I wasn't alone in it. I messaged my baby brother who has been incredibly supportive, and vented to him as well as my girlfriend. And my sister-in-law posted supportive words on the same post. The post was me asking people to use my name rather than my dead name. Aunt's shame was triggered, unfortunately.
And I'm not trying to minimize your fears of microaggressions, they do hurt. And being a trans Latina, you will likely have a harder time than I am with this family stuff, being trans and white. But, to stay sane, I focus on the joyful parts. The people who do support me even when people are being hateful. And that brings me so much joy that I'm tearing up typing this.
I'm Latinx as well. Yeah, some Latinx families can be... quite conservative, especially when extended family or older members are concerned... I feel you, I do.
Honestly, micro-aggressions are my main issue. Macro-aggressions? Certainly. But micro-aggressions accumulate. "Death by a thousand cuts" and all that. I've heard of NAMI. If they cater and affirm to Autistic as well as queer people, then I'll try them out.
Heard of Burning Man as well. I'll check 'em out too.
Thanks for the links, btw!
I will (edit: not "won't" but "will") do the heavy lifting of research, but if anyone has any pointers, that would be good to know.
Seriously, Google or Bing searches don't really cut it anymore; they barely show you the goddamn thing you need compared to previously where it was just kinda random.
I've tried switching to alternative search engines like Searx unless I'm looking for something hyper specific
Is it... any good? I sometimes use Yandex, but it clearly has a right-wing bent, at least afaik.
Magi's comment covered how I would have responded honestly.
The only problem with using public Searx instances instead of hosting your own is the downtime
Downtime isn't the worst thing. Honestly, when it comes to browsers, I prefer what it can do than whether it's "fast."
searx given the instance can let you set what search engines you use.. it's also privacy focused
Yandex seems less manipulated than Google or Bing in my experience (but I'm also not in Russia) as in they don't hide links so much so you'll get a wider range of links but that goes for everything..
Yeah, with Google at least, you have to go to the back of the final page to click the button to stop it from omitting links.
Yeah, the internet has gone to shit. The microaggressions from strangers don't bother me so much. People who said they love me that practically ignore me now that I'm out hurts :( But the ratio of support to hate has been way tilted towards support. Surrounding myself with queer joy and people who love seeing that joy has made it much easier.
And you're very welcome! I hope you find a space you can feel safe being you! And yes, NAMI is good with autism! Burners are good with all sorts of neurospiciness too! Though, the parties can be loud and it might not be your thing, (I skip a lot of the parties myself) the community still does a lot of fun stuff if you hook up with the local scene.
Frankly, when you get micro-aggressions daily, it accumulates, especially if you're going through a hard time.
And yeah, it feels like my biggest fear is that, when I'm out, even some trans folks won't love me. They'll always view me as what I am now, not what I could become, or not what I always was. You know how it is. Sometimes, I feel like I won't be accepted either way and then I despair, but lately, I've been meaning to at least push through, you know?
I don't mind parties. I'll attend 'em
We've been gas lit by a lot of propaganda. Trans people have been incredibly inclusive. I've experienced no gatekeeping.
If your desire to transition is great enough that you're weighing it against microaggressions and all of that, you're trans. Cis people don't do that.
microaggression yesterday that hurt and how I cope
My favorite aunt vomited the family shame up on my facebook last night. It hurt. It still hurts. I made an initial defensive response, deleted it, and took the time to try to educate her (and anyone else reading). Pretending I don't prefer feminine things was literally killing me. I choose life, I told her. And I hope you prefer a joyful niece over a suicidal nephew.
But I wasn't alone in it. I messaged my baby brother who has been incredibly supportive, and vented to him as well as my girlfriend. And my sister-in-law posted supportive words on the same post. The post was me asking people to use my name rather than my dead name. Aunt's shame was triggered, unfortunately.
And I'm not trying to minimize your fears of microaggressions, they do hurt. And being a trans Latina, you will likely have a harder time than I am with this family stuff, being trans and white. But, to stay sane, I focus on the joyful parts. The people who do support me even when people are being hateful. And that brings me so much joy that I'm tearing up typing this.
I'm Latinx as well. Yeah, some Latinx families can be... quite conservative, especially when extended family or older members are concerned... I feel you, I do.
And thank you for not gate-keeping!