"Welcome to the Circus of Values!"
Previously, these vending machines likely sold more appropriate items for the public until the Civil War hit Rapture. Then, the inclusion of ammunition and healing materials would make them very convenient.
The real clown world. And can I comment on how much I hate that term? Clown World should be reserved for things like ammo vending machines. But instead chuds use it when people can get gender affirming care.
I legitimately can’t tell if this is the fucking onion or not
It's the AP. About as far from the onion as you can get.
Blue Stinger for the Dreamcast, a game that came out in 2001, had gun vending machines in a shopping mall that played Christmas music.
No shit i have that on my retroid and will fire it up right now since I don't think I've played it yet
Lovely little b-movie homage of a game. It tries to be Resident Evil but fails but still comes out ahead with it's charm.
Interior: non descript American grocery store
A huge line of various American citizen tropes, incl. cowboy, New England longshoremen, Hawaiian shirt tourist, old west prospector, Wall St stock broker, high school jock in letterman jacket, large woman in mobility scooter, hippie in tie dye shirt, biker, LA socialite with Chihuahua in a purse, Amish, etc etc all looking annoyed standing behind an old Abe Simpson-esque man holding up the line by paying for his daily $50 worth of ammo in dimes.
The company says that their vending machines have "built-in AI technology, card scanning capability and facial recognition software."
Lmao. By the way, the machines are only in a couple of deep red states right now. You know, states with virtually no gun control laws and you can buy ammo without any sort of hoops to jump through.
This machine basically exists solely as red meat for conservatives because it’s just a ridiculous concept, and they will defend it uncritically even if they’re being charged 5x than if they just bought a box at a gun store because it uses some LLM to talk to you
"Are you tired of arriving at a potential massacre site, ready to go, only to realize you left your ammo at home?! Hi, Billy Mays here..."
You know what washes out those tough set-in blood stains? OXI-CLEAN, WITH THE POWER OF OXYGEN! None of those harsh chemicals that will damage your fabrics!
Rolling up to the pre-k ready to put some toddlers in coffins for the good of the white race only to find someone beat you to the punch: The American way
Presumably you only need to buy ammo if you've used the ammo you already have... or am I missing something?
So what the fuck is going on in that stupid fucking country that members of the public are having to stop by a vending machine to 'top up' their ammo? The fuck is everyone shooting at?
Apart from schools. I know people shoot at schools but I'm given to understand that school shooters don't need to replenish spent ammo after shooting because they're either dead or in jail. Or are they?
The machine is only in the south right now. Stores there can and do carry normal weaponry, and gun stores are a short distance from wherever you stand. There’s no reason for this machine to exist outside of generating headlines and angry tweets from gun discourse so the company makes money because Americans are dumb.
Like any vending machine, the prices are likely all marked up, especially if there’s someone dumb enough to be buying 1-5 rounds individually lol. And if it breaks? Good luck getting any help. It’s the complete opposite of accessible because it preys on people who don’t know they’re being gouged.
School shooters aren’t gonna be using these and standing around tapping their foot while it verifies their card and dispensing 20 rounds. They buy in bulk and load up a ton of magazines to minimize idle time. And besides school shootings, we also have gang shootings. These days every banger is getting a Glock switch because it’s literally being sold on the first page of google search results. Those basically turn a Glock into auto fire which consumes 30+ rounds in mere seconds. But again, they’re likely not going to be using a vending machine to replenish anything during shooting because they would need go fill up their magazines again, or even during peace time because it’s way too slow and visible. If anything, the machines might end up being targets for theft because the ammo isn’t locked up behind counters and cases like normal shops, and instead behind a vending machine.
