Smart man: "of course babe"

Me: "wait in this hypothetical were you always a worm or like turned into a worm by a wizard or something? Cuz in the first scenario I doubt we'd ever meet, unless I was also a worm. In the second scenario, would you have the cognitive abilities of a worm or would you retain human sapience somehow, even though that's not physiologically possible as a worm. If the former, would you really still be you, materially speaking? You've been reduced to the brain function of a worm, I'd say as a human you're functionally dead."

Anyway I'm sleeping on the couch tonight.

  • booty [he/him]
    ·
    2 months ago

    I'd reach the same result much faster: "no, you'd be a worm" gigachad

  • SpiderFarmer [he/him]
    ·
    2 months ago

    I flubbed this one up yesterday, saying I'd water them from when they'd escape and almost turn into jerky. My partner, "Are you saying I'd be a dumb worm?"

    • Diuretic_Materialism [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      2 months ago

      "Are you saying I'd be a dumb worm?"

      "Well babe you'd literally have a worm's brain, so you'd be totally incapable of higher thought. You'd be a being of pure instinct not really capable of 'intelligence' as we humans conceptualize... why are you crying?"

  • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]
    ·
    2 months ago

    Someone told me "she's never going to be a worm, but she really will get her feelings hurt if you say no." I think of it like Games Done Quick charity marathons where you can either donate to save the animals in a speedrun of Metroid Fusion during the final sequence when the planet is blowing up or save the frames by ignoring the animals instead. In my head, you save the frames because they're real while the animals are not. Circling back, her feelings are real, the scenario is not, so it seems optimal to meta-scum the answers that maximize her happiness.

    • Azzu@lemm.ee
      ·
      2 months ago

      Seems like a good idea until you meet someone who's happier when they know the truth than some comfortable lie.

      • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]
        ·
        2 months ago

        A comfortable lie? About being a worm? What - are you going to go "so you'd love me if I were a worm but not if I'm a landlord? Woooooow..."

        Seems like a game of "first one to think deeply about this question loses."

  • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
    ·
    2 months ago

    Are you genuinely in trouble for this or are you doing a boomer joke? It's a boomer question anyway. It's the new 'does this make me look fat?' joke that tired ass comedians have been doing some version of since ww2 ended or earlier. It's not really an interesting question cause asking if you'd still love someone if they were entirely fundamentally different means they are not that person and in this case a worm so saying no doesn't mean you don't love them, it means you don't have feeling for worms.

      • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
        ·
        2 months ago

        How is being a different animal not a fundamental difference? That's about as fundamental as things get

        • ObamaSama [he/him]
          ·
          2 months ago

          I fully agree that it’s a dumb question that presupposes the existence of some ethereal “essence” for the question to not be completely preposterous. My ex did not see it that way and did legitimately get very upset with me for responding in a similar way to the OP.

          I think the anger was based on her concept of love being an idealized force that transcends the physical and can truly be “forever” which also would necessitate there being some lingering trace of a person remaining regardless of their physical form. Not sure though, she didn’t exactly elaborate and just screamed at me for a while

          • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
            ·
            2 months ago

            Well, that seems like a bummer. Asking this hypothetical as anything but a joke into any good for sure. The point of it is that it's a trap question. That's why it's just a boomer joke again but updated to not be fatphobic. Also as far as worm/human relations go, I'm holding my own. I save em from the sidewalk and put em in some dirt. Worms are cool. I like literally all animals and will help em out when I can. Doesn't mean I'm gonna be in a relationship with a worm.

        • AndJusticeForAll [none/use name]
          ·
          2 months ago

          Don't be upset when I poach your worm wife and show her what real love is amongst my greater harem of worm women who've been wasted by this worrisome world.

  • Formerlyfarman [none/use name]
    ·
    2 months ago

    The brain bug is a worm of sorts, in it's larval period it's indistinguishable from a caterpillar. And it's in many ways smarter than us.