Hi Chapos throwaway for obvious reasons.

I’ve managed to buy an apartment, two bedrooms. I live in it, but I rent the other room out. Is it unethical for me to hide that I’m the owner?

I don’t really lie-lie, like if I’m asked straight up I’ll answer, but I’ll avoid it if possible.

It’s mostly because it creates an odd power dynamic and I’d rather have a flatmate than a tenant if that makes sense.

Reason I bought is I don’t want to deal with landlords, obviously.

Do I get the wall?

  • Hexboare [they/them]
    ·
    2 days ago

    You're talking about lying to your tenants that you're the landlord?

    "Oh better pay your rent because the real estate company is chasing me" what a fucking thing to suggest

    You telling the truth or lying about being the landlord doesn't create the odd power dynamic - the power dynamic comes from them having to give you money in order to have shelter. You can't avoid it.

    First sign of landlord brain - I should lie to my tenants so I feel better about the power relationship

    • tocopherol [any]
      ·
      2 days ago

      I like what Hexboare said:

      First sign of landlord brain - I should lie to my tenants so I feel better about the power relationship

      Like others pointed out the power dynamic is there regardless. By obscuring the full details you are using the dynamic to your advantage, preventing the other tenant from making fully informed decisions about the situation.

    • GuiltyConscience [he/him]
      ·
      2 days ago

      I want to be able to ask my flatmate to not put dishes in the sink without it being a landlord/tenant dynamic.

      It’s not the money/shelter trade that bugs me. It’s the lick-my-ass/or-be-homeless setup that I don’t like.

      Also just to be clear I don’t outright lie, but I don’t tell unless I’m explicitly asked.

      • kivork [he/them]@lemmygrad.ml
        ·
        2 days ago

        If you don't like the "lick-my-ass/or-be-homeless setup", try not being a landlord.

        I'm such a smol bean landlord, pwease forgive me hexbear, I just have to exploit another human being for my own financial gain but it gives me a sad uwu

        • Hexboare [they/them]
          ·
          2 days ago

          I think it's worse because the landlord is going to be unwittingly surveilling the tenant whenever they're there. Like he can just boot them if they do something he doesn't enjoy, whereas there's a lot more leeway (rightly and wrongly) with a roommate that you can't just kick out.

          • GuiltyConscience [he/him]
            ·
            2 days ago

            Exactly. That’s not a good vibe, and no amount of ‘just trust me bro’ gets rid of it. (Especially if you proactively bring it up “just so you know, I can make you homeless but dw”.)

          • kivork [he/them]@lemmygrad.ml
            ·
            2 days ago

            I bought such a tiny eensy weensy property and now I have to use it to exploit someone. Otherwise someone will exploit me. I'm so tiny and smol I can't handle the exploitation that you all do, that's why I have to exploit you all. Pwease, no more bad feelings, thank you!

      • Hexboare [they/them]
        ·
        2 days ago

        Then you should communicate that with the people there, because surely the relationship is going to be pretty fucked if they find out you're the owner?

        I don't know the cohort of people renting the room but I would think I'd find out pretty quickly and I think it would be hard to not disclose without lying. However I do a title search before renting so maybe I'm not the best example.