It turns out that someone was illegally killing geese in Springfield, Ohio, but it wasn't a Haitian immigrant.Donald Trump and Sen. J.D. Vance (R-OH) spread baseless claims that the city's sizable Haitian immigrant population was stealing and eating other residents' pets, and police investigated rum...
"Mr. Comer advised that he was responsible for shooting the geese," police said. "Mr. Comer advised that he thought the golf course had a nuisance permit and that he could shoot the geese."
Canada geese are assholes, but so are golfers. I feel a little bad for this guy who is just trying to do his job and is caught in the middle and ends up fighting geese, and since he's the one doing the actual dirty work, he's the one who gets in trouble. he thought he was covered by a permit they didn't have – wonder where he got that idea?
it's easy to imagine golfers screaming at him about getting goose shit on their shoes – or being chased by vicious lil honkers away from a ball that landed too close to a nest, a mental image I find delightful – while he just wants to take care of the green and go home, and his boss says to just go kill the geese, it's fine, they do it all the time, the golf course has a nuisance permit that allows them to just murder wildlife willy-nilly when it gets in the way, nbd
and then JD Vance has to go run his fucking mouth and now suddenly the cops there care what happens to geese
it's easy to imagine golfers screaming at him about getting goose shit on their shoes – or being chased by vicious lil honkers away from a ball that landed too close to a nest, a mental image I find delightful
Canada geese are assholes, but so are golfers. I feel a little bad for this guy who is just trying to do his job and is caught in the middle and ends up fighting geese, and since he's the one doing the actual dirty work, he's the one who gets in trouble. he thought he was covered by a permit they didn't have – wonder where he got that idea?
it's easy to imagine golfers screaming at him about getting goose shit on their shoes – or being chased by vicious lil honkers
away from a ball that landed too close to a nest, a mental image I find delightful 
– while he just wants to take care of the green and go home, and his boss says to just go kill the geese, it's fine, they do it all the time, the golf course has a nuisance permit that allows them to just murder wildlife willy-nilly when it gets in the way, nbd
and then JD Vance has to go run his fucking mouth and now suddenly the cops there care what happens to geese
Are we sure this guy isn't just RFK using an alias?
How is his name Mr Coomer
Not all heroes wear capes
Arm the geese
but they need guns they can fire with their bills, or maybe we teach them how to pull the pins on grenades and air-drop them
missile launchers slung under the belly that the geese can activate by pooping