set your goddamn pronouns, i'm asking you as a trans person. Getting misgendered, even online, can be really painful to someone experiencing gender dysphoria. Help your comrades out by normalizing the act of publicly displaying your pronouns, it makes us feel like we don't stick out as TRANS for putting pronouns on display and makes us feel safer, you know, kinda like how a nice inclusive community should feel?

Don't care/worried it will compromise opsec somehow? Simply pick the "any" pronoun, comrade! There are dozens of us!

BTW there is no reasonable "other side" to this issue, you either are willing to spend 1 second setting your pronouns to help your marginalized comrades OR you're an asshole who is putting their own feelings first over others :)

Edit: sincere thank you to the people who listened and set their pronouns! It really does make us trans people who care about this sort of thing feel safer and more accepted :)

  • joseph [he/him, they/them]
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    4 years ago

    Is it possible to have the site set up to require pronouns during registration?

  • TalonOfAnathrax [none/use name,undecided]
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    4 years ago

    Ugh. I feel like I'm being bullied out of my nice, comfy anonymous online persona and into an actual human persona with a gndr. This feel like revealing personal information about myself, even if it's blatantly fake information (I absolutely wouldn't want to be called by any pronoun IRL, but fuck it it's the least bad option). At least on the discord I could pick every gender at once!

    But you know what they say, online bullying works wonders. Today you got me to change my pronoun settings, tomorrow you'll get boomers on Facebook to support communism.

  • Fakename_Bill [he/him]
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    4 years ago

    While I understand the sentiment, isn't it already true that the vast majority of posters on this site have their pronouns set? It would be nice if everyone did, but I don't think anyone assumes that other posters are trans because they have their pronouns set. Having your pronouns set on this site *is* the norm.

    • Gay_Wrath [fae/faer]
      hexagon
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      4 years ago

      Good, and it should stay that way. You have literally nothing to lose to set your pronouns and you help trans people so it's great it's the culture here.

  • MolotovHalfEmpty [he/him]
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    4 years ago

    :xi-clap: MORE :xi-clap: TRANS :xi-clap: WESTERNS :xi-clap:

    Also, set your pronouns folks, it's literally the least you can do.

  • Cowboyitis69 [he/him]
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    4 years ago

    I like this post because it offers a good reason and explanation as you why to do it, rather than just scolding people.

    • Cowboyitis69 [he/him]
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      4 years ago

      I set the pronouns before but for some reason they weren’t showing up

  • Zuzak [fae/faer, she/her]
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    4 years ago

    Why on earth would you stick out as trans for publically displaying your pronouns? Plenty of cis people list their pronouns, not out of a sign of solidarity, but because they don't want to be misgendered either. So I'm not going to assume anyone's trans because they list their pronouns in the first place.

    You are not an asshole if you put your own feelings before those of others when it comes to how you choose to identify yourself. And you are not transphobic just because you like they anonymity of the internet, where nobody knows anything about your gender and you don't have to worry about choosing how to present.

    That is the other side to this, and the reason why this struggle session sucks. It is not transphobic to not announce your pronouns to everyone you meet.

    • Gay_Wrath [fae/faer]
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      4 years ago

      Why on earth would you stick out as trans for publically displaying your pronouns? Plenty of cis people list their pronouns

      this wasn't originally the case :) especially for places like twitter where you have a profile pic

      You are not an asshole if you put your own feelings before those of others

      ?

      And you are not transphobic just because you like they anonymity of the internet

      that's what the any pronoun is for tho

      It is not transphobic to not announce your pronouns to everyone you meet.

      but that's not what this is or comparable to that at all. also if there is a norm of saying your pronouns while introducing yourself and you REFUSE, especially in a queer place, you ARE being transphobic

      • Zuzak [fae/faer, she/her]
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        4 years ago

        this wasn’t originally the case :) especially for places like twitter where you have a profile pic

        It was always the case here, because we don't have profile pics.

        You are not an asshole if you put your own feelings before those of others

        ?

        Yes? That shouldn't be a question. If I put other people's feelings before my own I'd identify as cis rather than NB, because oh no what if it makes them uncomfortable? When it comes to your own identity and presentation, you have every right to put yourself before others.

        that’s what the any pronoun is for tho

        I don't see how that's any different from just not listing it. What exactly does that accomplish?

        but that’s not what this is or comparable to that at all. also if there is a norm of saying your pronouns while introducing yourself and you REFUSE, especially in a queer place, you ARE being transphobic

        I don't really know how to respond to this. If saying, "Sorry, I haven't figured it out yet" or "I don't care, you can just call me whatever" is transphobic, then call me a transphobe, I guess. Personally, I think that's ridiculous. I think I should be able to present or not present how I choose and identify or not identify how i choose and that's none of your business. Am I mistaken?

  • EldritchMayo [he/him,comrade/them]
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    4 years ago

    Hmm. I suppose as a Cis male my opinion on this is not too important to the discourse. But I would agree with you. I think the main thing is, this is a forum form of social media. Nobody can see anyone's face. That means if someone has no pronouns I just refer to them in non gendered terms, which should be offensive to nobody. The fact that nobody will ever see you here means it's a lot harder to separate intentional and unintentional misuse or lack of pronoun flairs, and I don't think we should be coming down so hard just for people without a flair. Now, if this was a site with PFPs that had your face, I would say it would be a good idea, because then it's definitely a lot easier to separate people who are being intentionally transphobic and misgendering, for example. But for most people's usernames here I would never know what their preferred pronoun is, and I'd just refer to them as "they". And I don't think that's neccesarily something to have such a struggle session about, I'm fine with people not knowing my gender identity and only my name (which is ungendered) referring to me as "they" since of course they've never seen me.

  • p_sharikov [he/him]
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    4 years ago

    Is it possible to make it so people have to set pronouns to post?

  • PozzMaster [none/use name]
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    4 years ago

    being trans isn't leftist. idgaf about trans people's problems. just give me worker owned means of production pls