i was trying to be tactful, respectful, and understanding by posting this thread for ppl to ask questions abt our beautiful hexbear. i didnt get any questions.

it took 4 hours for Ada, their admin, to respond. she locked the thread shortly after responding

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her reply above was disheartening, as she seemed willing to work with us previously. equating ableism to a dunk tank post is just vile. and claiming the transphobia in 196 is “a specific event that occurred around a month ago” proves she didnt read any of our concerns. i didnt know abt that event, im sure most of us here dont. our concerns are rooted in the chasers of 196 (non-trans ppl who fetishize trans ppl). someone replied to her saying we were “concern-trolling”. is it that unbelievable that we care abt not having bigotry in the same space as us. i want to grab some of these users by the shoulders, shake them, and yell, “WE ARE BEING GENUINE. WE ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT PROVIDING A SAFE, SUPPORTIVE SPACE FOR ALL PEOPLE, AND YOUR COMMUNITY IS ALIENATING TRANS AND DISABLED PEOPLE!!”

responses were not very positive of us

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they think this is a bit! lol, lmao even! this whole thing has me jokerfication

this chain of comments particularly upset me

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“its a troll”. my pronouns are right next to my name, and “it” isnt one of them (even tho thats 100% a valid pronoun to prefer)

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this one had me fully jokerfied

and the cherry on top warranted its own post https://hexbear.net/post/373453

  • silent_water [she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    the point about the chaser shit was that a mod was defending it - and we know for certain chasers have made a home there because @HornyOnMain@hexbear.net got DMs from one / dogpiled for suggesting chaser shit is transphobic.

    purge your fucking chasers and purge 196 you fucking cowards

    • Finger [he/him]
      ·
      10 months ago

      no more half measures walter

  • Dirt_Owl [comrade/them, they/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    Yeah, if they can't even respect your pronouns then it's clear now that Blahaj.zone is a transphobic instance. Their projection seems to stem from their inability to keep their own trans and other marginalized groups safe from attack.

    • Black AOC@lemmygrad.ml
      ·
      10 months ago

      Y'know, blahaj really isn't doing shit to convince me it's not just a cesspit comprised near-entirely of the gold star/three no's gay community, especially not with their Vaush infection; and that's enough to make me want them defederated

        • Black AOC@lemmygrad.ml
          ·
          10 months ago

          Gold star lesbians ostracise other lesbians who've been with men before; want people to believe they just came out of the womb lesbian. Three no's, which i have more familiarity with, are the gays who have "No Blacks, no fats, no fems" either at the top or bottom of their grindr profiles. Usually white, moneyed up twinks, though before I pitched out my own profiles and became a bitter queer hermit, I was seeing that mindset metastasize to non-whites.

          • ZoomeristLeninist [comrade/them, she/her]
            hexagon
            ·
            10 months ago

            oof. yeah a lot of blahaj seem to embody that. but there are some of them who dont. those users should make accts here, but ive already said my piece to them

          • silent_water [she/her]
            ·
            10 months ago

            to be more specific, gold star is a TERF thing and it's meant to exclude lesbians who have sex with trans women. it's extremely gross.

            • Black AOC@lemmygrad.ml
              ·
              10 months ago

              Holy shit, it gets worse! So the one 'gold star' I had the immense displeasure and misfortune of knowing either didn't know what she was talking about, or had a whole lot worse personality traits that would have seen her clipped from the circle anywho. Lovely.

              • silent_water [she/her]
                ·
                10 months ago

                not everyone knows about it. my partner was calling a couple of zoomer trans kids that are staying with us gold stars without knowledge of how shitty it is (for context, we're both trans).

                • zan [she/her]
                  ·
                  10 months ago

                  I was giving them star stickers, I ain't callin nobody a gold star.

              • nocages [they/them]
                ·
                10 months ago

                It is definitely used by most people to mean that they've never been with a man. But of course, transphobes don't see trans women as women, so... 🤢

    • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.org
      ·
      10 months ago

      I feel like such a fogey. I'm assuming Vaush is some sort of internet personality? I get search hits for a YouTuber.

      • silent_water [she/her]
        ·
        edit-2
        10 months ago

        yeah, youtuber - "anarcho-Bidenist" with an extremely toxic fanbase and infamous for being a pedo, a chaser, and racist. straight up defends saying the n-word. we normally don't allow discussion of his stuff because giving him attention or brain space is a mistake but it's relevant in the context of the 196 community

        • Black AOC@lemmygrad.ml
          ·
          edit-2
          10 months ago

          straight up defends saying the n-word.

          Also chased a Black youtuber(Professor Flowers) off the platform by slandering her as a genocide apologist, and utterly refuses to differentiate between white nationalism, regressive Black nationalism(the kind of horseshit that say, the Black Hebrew Israelites peddle), and actually revolutionary Black nationalism.

            • GarbageShoot [he/him]
              ·
              10 months ago

              I think he also did actual sex pest stuff, but that was under his other name before he rebranded to escape the accusations.

              • ImOnADiet@lemmygrad.ml
                ·
                10 months ago

                from my understanding it was all online no? Not that it makes redeemable, but I don't think he's actually physically harassed anyone in person from what we know (wouldn't put it past him of course)

                • GarbageShoot [he/him]
                  ·
                  10 months ago

                  I thought the incident that made him rebrand was in real life, but I might be confusing him for someone else.

                  • ImOnADiet@lemmygrad.ml
                    ·
                    10 months ago

                    I think the person he harassed was Poppy, is that who you're thinking of?

                    • GarbageShoot [he/him]
                      ·
                      10 months ago

                      His fucking NATOpedia page never even mentions the incident or that he had any other pseudonym.

                      Looking at a few sources (including the Destiny sub, please forgive me), it appears that it wasn't in-person but it was multiple victims and he defends his actions

                      • ImOnADiet@lemmygrad.ml
                        ·
                        10 months ago

                        see I didn't even know there were multiple, but I did know the he never apologized to Poppy and even threatened her after he gave a non-apology

        • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.org
          ·
          edit-2
          10 months ago

          Eesh. It's so bizarre to me the online personalities, that people will then claim to be followers of, and even attach a cutesy name to. It's like saying, "Yeah, I'm Savillain. Yeah, I'm a Cosbologist."

          • silent_water [she/her]
            ·
            10 months ago

            it's the commoditization of identity - corporate brands wanted people to identify with them so there was a mass push towards that, especially with advertising. with social media, "influencers" began capitalizing on parasocial relationships with their fandom as well as cultivating brand identity. the post-structuralist critiques are fairly interesting on this front.

            • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.org
              ·
              10 months ago

              I just wanna go back to when it took reasonable technical investment to platform on the internet. I had such high hopes for accessibility.

              • silent_water [she/her]
                ·
                10 months ago

                capitalism, baybee. takes unmitigated goods and turns them into ash in our mouths.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      ·
      10 months ago

      Never trust a leftist who doesn't drop a few slurs per day.

      freeze-gamer is one of the slurs that I accept and it applies here.

      • sharedburdens [she/her, comrade/them]
        ·
        10 months ago

        I noticed that post was on a thread in the chapotraphouse comm, but not visible through hexbear at all, just very weird, I can only imagine how hard it would have been dunked on if it was visible before the whole thread got locked for vaushposting outside of the dunk tank

    • AssortedBiscuits [they/them]
      ·
      10 months ago

      Never trust a leftist who doesn't drop a few slurs per day.

      Cracker isn't a slur.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      ·
      10 months ago

      They don't condone the kiddie creeping chaser but they are fans of the kiddie creeping chaser morshupls

    • Tastysnack
      ·
      edit-2
      10 months ago

      deleted by creator

  • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.org
    ·
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    To be fair, as neither a local member or one of a blahaj, the post did read a little... off, for a lack of a better word. I didn't feel like it was made in bad faith, but it felt a little faux pas.

    • silent_water [she/her]
      ·
      10 months ago

      I wanted one of our admins or theirs to make it for exactly that reason. but the response is nonetheless funny.

    • ZoomeristLeninist [comrade/them, she/her]
      hexagon
      ·
      10 months ago

      i guess it would have been better coming from an admin, but it wasnt an announcement post, just an invitation to ask us questions abt hexbear

  • rjs001@lemmygrad.ml
    ·
    10 months ago

    What craziness. I wish Lemmygrad would defederate from them as it’s clearly used by a bunch of uber-conservative asses alone.

    • CriticalResist8@lemmygrad.ml
      ·
      edit-2
      10 months ago

      We don't need to, they already defederated from us without ever talking to us.

      If they think bearing with the hex was bad, wait until they get us if they ever decide to try again. We're not half as patient as hexbear is with liberals, though I appreciate their effort to make this federation work with blahaj

      • rjs001@lemmygrad.ml
        ·
        10 months ago

        Oh, I thought they were cause I saw comments from them on Hexbear and didn’t know I could see the comments like that if we had. Thanks for clearing that up

        • CriticalResist8@lemmygrad.ml
          ·
          10 months ago

          I'm not entirely sure how federation/defederation works since it's one way, from what I understand the posts that were federated remain, and one of the two parties can still comment and be seen, but the other can't? It's not super well documented yet

          • ImOnADiet@lemmygrad.ml
            ·
            10 months ago

            the way it works is that blahaj (or any other instance that's defederated lemmygrad) won't federate any of its posts/comments made on comms hosted on its instance to lemmygrad, so we won't see those, but if they comment or post on a comm that's hosted on an instance that still federates with lemmygrad (eg. hexbear), hexbear will take that post/comment and federate it to every instance it's federated with, it doesn't check to see if the instance of that post/comment defederates from of the instances it sends it out to, it sends them all out, and so we're able to see it, unless we also defederated the original instance.

          • rjs001@lemmygrad.ml
            ·
            10 months ago

            Ah, I see. It looks like I can comment on there so maybe the defederation is one sided?

            • CriticalResist8@lemmygrad.ml
              ·
              10 months ago

              we might still aggregate their posts since we don't block them but I think nobody but people browsing from lemmygrad can see those comments.

              • rjs001@lemmygrad.ml
                ·
                10 months ago

                Oh, that could be the case. Thanks for explaining

      • Twink
        ·
        edit-2
        9 months ago

        deleted by creator

    • stardust [she/her]
      ·
      10 months ago

      As someone that created an account here after the drama on blahaj, I'm disappointed to see so many sweeping generalizations of the people that used the instance

      • rjs001@lemmygrad.ml
        ·
        10 months ago

        I don’t think people would be doing if users of that instance weren’t upvoting reactionary conservative comments. Once Blahaj stops acting like a bunch of conservatives people will stop thinking it’s an alt-right instance

        • stardust [she/her]
          ·
          10 months ago

          Do you think every blahaj user upvoted those kinds of comments?

          • rjs001@lemmygrad.ml
            ·
            10 months ago

            I didn’t see many downvotes on any of them nor were they being removed by mods

            • stardust [she/her]
              ·
              edit-2
              10 months ago

              downvotes are disabled on blahaj (and on hexbear)

              • rjs001@lemmygrad.ml
                ·
                10 months ago

                Why aren’t comments going against them? The only thing I can think is that Blahaj is filled with reactionary alt-right

                • stardust [she/her]
                  ·
                  10 months ago

                  I don't know specifically what comments you're referring to. I can't reply to everything on blahaj. I don't think this conversation is going anywhere so I'm just going to block and move on. Take care

                  • ImOnADiet@lemmygrad.ml
                    ·
                    10 months ago

                    I’m just going to block and move on.

                    there was no need for this, just ask to disengage and report them if they don't respect it???

                    • rjs001@lemmygrad.ml
                      ·
                      10 months ago

                      Or, if disengagement is what is wanted, they could also just do that without a comment. Disengagement really only takes one person. It’s not like I was following them around commenting on every post or something like that

                      • ImOnADiet@lemmygrad.ml
                        ·
                        10 months ago

                        it's a thing on hexbear, you specifically need to comment and say you're disengaging

                        • silent_water [she/her]
                          ·
                          10 months ago

                          you don't have to but it helps if the topic is heated or if someone is replying to you from multiple places in the thread.

                        • rjs001@lemmygrad.ml
                          ·
                          10 months ago

                          Eh, even if you can disengage like that, I’d rather her block me. I don’t care to engage with someone who I will disagree with like that

                          • ImOnADiet@lemmygrad.ml
                            ·
                            10 months ago

                            I dunno that just seems a little harsh I don't think the argument was that bad

                    • stardust [she/her]
                      ·
                      10 months ago

                      Not sure why it matters, but sure I'll use that. Disengage please

                  • rjs001@lemmygrad.ml
                    ·
                    10 months ago

                    So you defend far-right instances, get called out and then just say you will block? lmao

                    • silent_water [she/her]
                      ·
                      10 months ago

                      no, she's saying there's still some good people there. it's not a defense of the instance, just some of the users. I know they exist because they were getting heated with the 196 mod in the "hexbear defederated" thread, forcing that mod to revise history and pretend they were a smolbean that did nothing wrong. I think they'll be driven off the instance, personally, as the mod/admin teams are at best enabling a cryptofash mod to go unchecked.

                    • kristina [she/her]
                      ·
                      edit-2
                      10 months ago

                      nah there were plenty of trans people on blahaj that are just looking for a nice place to be, but blahaj is very hostile due to the amount of chasers that got invited on. best to be understanding. regardless the majority of trans people are socialist, so please keep that in mind when interacting too

                      • rjs001@lemmygrad.ml
                        ·
                        10 months ago

                        I suppose. I’m still extremely suspicious of that instance due, especially, to this post as it doesn’t exactly seem like a non-reactionary instance

      • kristina [she/her]
        ·
        edit-2
        10 months ago

        meow-hug glad to see new people, hope you like the new /c/traa community :) will be putting some gas in the engine after i wake up from my next sleep

        • stardust [she/her]
          ·
          10 months ago

          Thanks, I checked it out a bit. Looking forward to seeing more posts populate.

          I'm still not sure if I'm going to stay, hexbear seems a little chaotic at best coming from blahaj, and a lot of the users are pretty aggressive. But I'm here for now

          • kristina [she/her]
            ·
            edit-2
            10 months ago

            35 posts, 200 comments in a day is pretty good, but those are rookie numbers 🤔 gonna be planning some coordinated campaigns to up the amount of trans people on this site.

          • ZoomeristLeninist [comrade/them, she/her]
            hexagon
            ·
            10 months ago

            we are aggressive against reactionary behavior. but typically we are polite and respectful when having conversations with leftists who are posting in good faith

            • stardust [she/her]
              ·
              edit-2
              10 months ago

              A lot of the aggressiveness I'm referring to is directed at blahaj users in general, not any specific users that have interacted in bad faith. Just people here calling all of blahaj conservatives or other badmouthing.

              I'm just saying as someone coming from blahaj I see a lot of hostility that feels directed at me

              • ZoomeristLeninist [comrade/them, she/her]
                hexagon
                ·
                edit-2
                10 months ago

                yeah that is unfair. but there is that old adage: if nine people are eating at a table, a nazi joins, and nobody leaves, then those are 10 nazis eating together

                i have only seen the behavior ur talking abt from lemmygrad users. they are sometimes harsher on liberals than us

                i can promise none of it is directed at you. you came over here so you obviously recognized how blahaj was problematic. any blahaj users who migrate here are welcome cat-trans

  • SuperNovaCouchGuy2 [any]
    ·
    10 months ago

    plays EVE online

    Huge fucking red flag if there ever was one

  • Twink
    ·
    edit-2
    9 months ago

    deleted by creator

  • DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml
    ·
    10 months ago

    "I haven't seen anything from Hexbear, but I know they are bad guys that force me to be homophobic!"