That’s like the one of the only ways I’ve managed to meet people (THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE LIFE) and it sucks so so fucking much because finding someone who is reciprocative to that type of shit is so damn hard-especially in the era of instagram reels and TikTok
Is there a way to learn to socialize “normally” I’ve learned that I’m going to be very lonely if I don’t figure out how especially with my current career (god this just reminds me of how soulless my current job is)
I’m really starting to learn how my brain chemistry almost lines up with my politics (as in how I am foolishly passionate about how I would prefer everyone be forced to live with the same amount of resources and be forced to understand how it’s not about the community.
But yeah sometimes that shit comes out at inopportune times and I have legit seen it make my friends lose their jobs
But yes this still explains why I need to learn better acceptable small talk and how to approach bringing up that small talk without seemingly coming out of nowhere
i'm so sick of having to pretend to be a dead boring normie just to be able to interact with people IRL
like nobody ever has any fucking spark of life or convictions, none of these worthless liberals believe in anything
They believe in a lot that doesn’t even touch a boundary tbh
It really is extremely soulless and forces you to step in line with all socially acceptable conversation pieces
I always get a “we’re all just trying to get by” thought terminating cliche whenever I say something implying that a minority group shouldn’t have to suffer
Personally, I'm pretty cagey about my politics until I've talked to someone a few separate times. The closest I'll get is complaining about rent and the price of groceries, but in a non-systemic way that allows people to air their own political dirty laundry.
I don't really have it in me to start arguments at the mo
What do you mean by "anything other than life things?"
A lot of "normal people" I've met for the first times love gossiping about their personal life, to the point I'm learning more about their extended family than my own in just 30 minutes
Usually what people do for work and their outlook on the sociopolitical landscape is about as far as it goes for me tbh
Ya low the more that I yap about this, the more I’m concerned that I’m just staying in my comfort zone and don’t know how to get out.
Reading the comments i gotta say y'all gotta feel free to be more weird. Be yourselves. You don't need to be anyone for anyone's approval unless you're living in their house.
If they don't like you, so what? You showed them who you were and if they didn't like it they saved you the trouble of figuring out if they're an asshole or not.
I am a very antisocial person, maybe my advice is bad, but in my experience people tend to appreciate authenticity in people most of all and most people will respond positively if you just be yourself, as long as you're not an asshole to them
but in my experience people tend to appreciate authenticity in people most of all
This heavily depends on what social circle you are existing in, largely just how secure those people are in themselves
Kinda depends on the weird. Weird politics (or politics in general really) aren't great party topics.
In the West**
The Latin Americans I've met casually talk about politics allll the time, even in my American workplace (which makes the Americans look soooo uncomfortable lmao)
It is really hard to meet people as an adult. Have you considered Meetup groups or something similar? If it's a hobby group, then at least when you go, you have a thing to talk about that's built in. That might be more promising than your current frustrating experience.
The only use of small talk is verging into something that's not small talk. Sometimes this is successful, sometimes not.
you get invited to parties?
I've never been invited to anything. I don't even know where I'd begin.
Hell if I know, doesn’t happen often
Like once every two years or something so I’m by no means a party person
befriend people who host them or go to them, tell them you're in a party mood
befriend people who host them or go to them
currently have no friends and nowhere I can go to make any, or I would. lol
well no offense but ye shouldnt live your whole life like you are
cut roots and move (if you can?)
well obviously I'd love to be able to do that, but I'd triple my rent at a minimum if I move out and I can't really afford it.
damn - yep, that's the way it is these days
it's tough making that step too because once you start renting you start treading water and pissing money into someone else's mortgage
I mean, you can kinda talk about whatever. Something you watched or read recently, something fun you did, a big event in your life, sports, or really anything you find interesting. A lot of the time you can just let the other person talk, most people like talking about themselves.
Important caveat is that work related parties are usually not real parties, they're for networking. If someone at the party can fire you or hire you, there's not much to talk about other than work. Sometimes it's okay if your coworkers are chill.
Find a group, do small talk, do the group activity, mention the stuff you're doing on the weekend, invite them in a low-pressure way.
If they go, you made a friend. If they say no but express polite interest, maybe offer once more next week. Otherwise, keep the small talk and move to the next person.
