Translation:
The Kremlin said so recently, right? Last week there were a bunch of warnings, that russia was going to target underseas cables to damage NATO-members specifically.
I thought so but was unable to find anything in 30 seconds of looking it up on the web.
The context is literally some internet cable between germany and finland being damaged.
Alternative Titles I came up with:
KREML KREML KREML KREML
IT APPEARED TO ME IN A DREAM
SOURCE? MY SOURCE IS THAT I MADE IT THE FUCK UP!
GERMANS ARE A SERIOUS PEOPLE AND A SERIOUS COUNTRY
Thank you. I'll be here all night and don’t forget to tip your bartender on the way out. 
The pre-1996 spelling here is the cherry on top. I'm logging on just to hear the political opinions of German techbro boomers
We should do a spelling reform in the deeply unserious spelling of English, just so you can distinguish boomers