Translation:
The Kremlin said so recently, right? Last week there were a bunch of warnings, that russia was going to target underseas cables to damage NATO-members specifically.
I thought so but was unable to find anything in 30 seconds of looking it up on the web.
The context is literally some internet cable between germany and finland being damaged.
Alternative Titles I came up with:
KREML KREML KREML KREML
IT APPEARED TO ME IN A DREAM
SOURCE? MY SOURCE IS THAT I MADE IT THE FUCK UP!
GERMANS ARE A SERIOUS PEOPLE AND A SERIOUS COUNTRY
Thank you. I'll be here all night and don’t forget to tip your bartender on the way out. 
Wild to complain after the amerikkkans set the level of permissible actions by blowing up a whole underwater pipeline.
No you see that was the russians as well.
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Ban Russian ships from the EU-area?
Blowing up Nordstream 2 would've been cause enough for it!
The pre-1996 spelling here is the cherry on top. I'm logging on just to hear the political opinions of German techbro boomers
We should do a spelling reform in the deeply unserious spelling of English, just so you can distinguish boomers
Why is there so much media hype over this when
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it doesn't really amount to anything since there are loads of alternative routes, unlike some areas of the world that have a bunch of cables going through one strip of ocean (🇾🇪)
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even if it did have some impact, what military goal was it accomplishing? Even the Nord Stream sabotage could have some argued benefit to Russia, but Finland isn't even collaborating with Ukraine beyond NATO; if Finland was at risk they'd have sent VDV over Helsinki by now.
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Even if it had an impact, and it had an actual military benefit to Russia, is there legitimately any evidence of sabotage? (genuinely asking) because I've seen opinions from "these things are basically constantly being eaten by everything in the ocean that has a mouth" and "fibre optic cables are invincible except when they ingest polonium-spiked black tea".
Probably because it's the one thing they can put out there that doesn't put 'the west' in a terrible light? Like what other news are there? Genocide in Gaza which USA, UK and Germany are helping so can't report on that. Climate disasters can't do that one. General impending right-wing shift in politics thanks to the failures of european governments and decreasing standards of living can't do that one either. Germany coalition collapsing.... protest actions all over, jailing pro-palestine protesters etc. etc.
There is no good news out there currently except this is the one where finally they get to point fingers at the perfidious slav.
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Leaked footage shows RuZZian SHARKS attacking internet cables!
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Gibt es etwas, dass schlimmer ist zu ertragen als deutsche mittelschicht Wichser? Moin bin der Torsten aus Kiel und bin der Meinung, dass wir die Ukraine mit Atomwaffen beliefern sollten, überhaupt sollten wir Deutschen auch Atomwaffen besitzen und diese gegen Muselmanen einsetzen. Was ich wähle? Natürlich die Grünen, Habeck ist mein Führer und Baerbock meine Königin.
You know the whole thingamabob about how everybody that reports cars parked on sidewalks and shit is basically a Stasi-Gestapo-Blockwart? At this point this seems like one of the more obvious projections
