Wild how basically every time I click on the Libiverse button to see what a thread looks like with the lemmy.world and similar posters 
in it it's sooooo uhhhh
If it's not outright reactionary stuff it's stuff like the attached image. I just don't even know what to say 
Idk if this is intentional behavior or the result of being massively out of touch but aaaa
Idk, if this person sees this post somehow and you rly didn't mean this in a transphobic way I rly don't wanna discourage you from trying to use more inclusive language. It's just that being so bad-"weird" (I wish I had a better word to describe this) about people's pronouns or gendered language has the same effect in the end of pushing trans people or women out of spaces as outright transphobia or misogyny :(
If someone you're speaking to on the internet doesn't have listed preferred pronouns, you should use the ungendered pronoun "they" or refer to them without using pronouns ("this person"), and only the latter one if completely necessary for some grammatical or contextual reason (people can perceive it as you not wanting to use their preferred pronouns, which is considered disrespectful if they think you know of them). It can get more complicated than that but like 95% of the time those are good guidelines and 99% of people are probably gonna be cool with you as long as it's obvious you're trying to be respectful. Idk, pronouns 101 but yeah, lol
I actually found the reply in the attached image (https://hexbear.net/comment/5418313) a couple of months ago but I was reminded of it by this:
There was this thread I posted in earlier about male friendships and how intimate men are with each other, it looked kinda empty from our end (cuz we're defedded with the worst of this internet hell-network called Lemmy) but I clicked on the Libiverse button (https://lemmy.ml/post/22904748) and I just see stuff like this inside:
Which is just.... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, IF SOMEONE SAID THAT TO ME, AT THE VERY LEAST I WOULD NEVER SPEAK TO THEM AGAIN AND YOU WOULD HAVE TO LITERALLY TORTURE ME TO GET ME TO MENTION IT IN A POSITIVE LIGHT
Yet this guy not only does that, but also makes sure that you know, in the context of that, he would definitely kill people "if anyone ever goes after" his friends 
Moving on to more benign Redditor behavior:
I also don't have a word for this weird type of Redditor metaphor where they have some kind of criticism for your post but it's substanceless (who was attacking the straight men lmao, like I guess you could read it as an overgeneralization but it's not entirely wrong lol) and probably ultimately rooted in some kind of bigotry so it has to be veiled in some strange physically-based analogy
I have more slop for you but I hit the image rate limit and I'm impatient so now I switch to direct transcriptions :3
Andy@slrpnk.net, 7 updoots, 4 downdoots, 12 hrs ago
I think it’s interesting that you are comparing “men” and “girls” as opposed to either boys and girls or men and women.
No judgement. Just thought that was interesting.
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, just be direct about your language-nitpicking or shut the fuck up lmao, insufferable annoying ass Redditors
Lumidaub@feddit.org, 1 updoot, 3 hours ago I say this in the gentlest way possible: you keep writing “there” when you mean “they’re” or “their” and it’s making it hard to read your posts.
Surprisingly there's only like 6 grammar correction replies in that thread, pretty low for Reddit
There's more but you get the idea lol. Such an offputting place lol, solidarity to all our non-Redditor friends who persist in using the Reddit Lemmies despite the best efforts of the cishet white techbros there to push them away, you're welcome here on 
anytime 
Ah yes but it's actually Hexbear who is secretly a hate website for self hating trans folks. It's definitely not the very inclusive hate free rest of Lemmy, clearly
Legit, like so strange that we have that reputation lol
Just one visit to the trans mega can shatter it hehe, everyone is so heart-meltingly nice and sweet
The rest of the site is like that too but tbf we also have struggle seshes and slop-fests like here lol
I credit the people on this site for preparing me to be a good cis-male ally to a young transmasc relative. When he told me he was trans when we were hanging out at Toronto pride (we knew each other were bi well before this) I could tell he was nervous bordering on scared. But thanks to getting to understand the trans perspective here we had a great conversation on it. We had a blast at pride that day.
Hey, can I please give you a gentle language nitpick? (Also, thanks for being cool with your trans relative, I know it feels like the absolute least you could do, but I'm sure it meant a lot to him.) Anyway, on with the language nitpick: I'd refer to your relative as transmasc rather than AFAB trans, the reason being that calling him transmasc gestures towards who he actually is rather than the anatomy he had at birth and the social role that was assigned to him based on that anatomy. But again, thanks for being a safe person for your young transmasc relative to be open with! That's awesome!
That is a point well taken! I'll keep that in mind in the future.
I'm perfectly okay with language nitpicks. I want to do right by my trans comrades.
I greatly regret bringing that word "nitpick" into this conversation, especially cuz the person who was "just asking questions" about the infantilization-loaded language of the OP has a good point
Cuz your language criticism isn't nitpicking to me. I guess my new definition would include the people saying over and over in that thread, to the benefit of no one but themselves (cuz it makes them feel good to say it probably), that the OP is using "there" instead of "they're" but would exclude what you said and what Andy@slrpnk.net said (even if the latter was phrased in an unhelpful way imo)
Am sorry, especially if it bothered you. I just got quite annoyed when reading that thread and ended up being reductive and dismissive
Idk, these are language crits instead perhaps
I should stop speaking, like entirely :3
Oh, you're good! I literally wasn't trying to comment on anything you said, I just saw a cis person who seemed willing to change their language and wanted to very gently suggest they do so. And then they did, immediately, leading me to believe they really are quite cool and a safe person for their young trans relative to be around.
I barely read the screenshots and your commentary on them, and I skipped most of the actual comments in the thread too.
I want to reiterate, from where I'm sitting, you're totally fine, I'm not a bit bothered by anything you've said in this thread (I didn't even read most of it). My comment had nothing to do with you or the larger context of the thread!
Ohh, okay, okay, am glad. Sorry, I have like... a hypervigilance thing or something :/ just worry a lot I offend people without realizing. Has been showing more lately for some reason
And yeah, "someone" is quite cool and your reply was good advice :3
The thing they said in the recent Trillbillies about how starting from colonization, being ready and willing to murder has become the ideological subjectivity of the average American. How do you know someone's a good friend? They'd murder for me, they'd help me murder, they'd help me hide a body. Sure my closest friend is an emotionally constipated robot-man who can't maintain a relationship and bought the Ryan Gosling jacket, but you should see the passion in his eyes when the subject of ending a life comes up.
We're so fuckin not okay over here dude
- Show
For these guys, their masculinity is tied completely to their willingness to perform violence. Not to sacrifice, not to die, not to suffer for others, only to kill and hurt.
How extraordinary, and what a tribute to ignorance and religious hypocrisy, is the fact that in the minds of most people, even those of liberals, only murder makes men. The slave pleaded; he was humble; he protected the women of the South, and the world ignored him. The slave killed white men; and behold, he was a man!
(I need a W.E.B. DuBois emote)I started looking for photos that would make a good emoji and I found this image of a dripped out young DuBois
Show
The logical conclusion of measuring by "importance" is that it's okay to kill every human to save one oxygen-producing algae, which I don't agree with but I don't think he does either
The ideology of dishing it out but not taking it
kill every human
Show
Hey baby, wanna kill all humans?
I so wanna believe this obsession those men have for showing their commitment to others through threats of violence and death is just like hero complex shit and not a reflection of how these people actually think.
Like it's more a "I'll die with my brothers, Spartans hurray!" or whatever.
Cos if it's not then there's a dangerous amount of men out there who think taking someone's life is an appropriate show of affection to a fellow bro in a time of need
and that's fucking daft.The thing about offering to help kill the guy's ex girlfriend was horrifying, because guys actually do that.
The person who mentioned that oop compared "men" and "girls" wasn't nitpicking, they were drawing attention to the sexist framing of the question. Adult women aren't children.
Good point tbh, I was probably too annoyed at the actual Reddit grammar nitpickers at the time I wrote that lol
It's a valid criticism but it should be made directly instead of doing the "just asking questions" thing, but idk maybe that's what you have to do on those Lemmies cuz being direct gets you banned lol
