Do you take them off in the shower???? When you have sex?????

  • cilantrofellow [any]
    ·
    edit-2
    4 years ago

    You never know when you need to react to an active shooter

    • crispyhexagon [none/use name]
      ·
      edit-2
      4 years ago

      i roll out of bed in the morning, already wearing full tactical gear, my kevlar cocoon has kept me safe for another night.

      making my way to the kitchen, i duck and weave from cover to cover, careful of the windows, as i clear the hallway and intervening guest bedroom.

      i crouch beneath the oak breakfast table as i eat my scambled eggs and toast, glaring balefully at the neighbors outside cat that has come to investigate my hummingbird feeder, hand on the pistol at my side.

      BBRRRZZTDINGdingDING

      i whip my gun around and unload six rounds through the front door before the bell finishes.

      ah shit. it was the mailman again. i put up a sign saying "please knock" but they never learn.

      • SteveHasBunker [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        glaring balefully at the neighbors outside cat that has come to investigate my hummingbird feeder, hand on the pistol at my side.

        Why’d you fucking hesitate you coward! Blast that diseased rodent away!