For a lot of incels, they basically need a female sex therapist, as in a therapist where sex is part of the therapy. They essentially need a female sex tutor who teaches them how to have sex. They are stuck in a vicious cycle of insecurity about sex due to inexperience in sex leading to further insecurity about sex, and for most of them, the hole they dug themselves in is deep enough that they can't get out without someone rescuing them.
We have dance classes to teach people how to dance so someone who might be insecure or shy about dancing can practice dancing in a relatively nonjudgmental environment and acquire enough dancing skill that the insecurity gets mitigated. Improv performances also fulfill a similar role with socialization. People are placed in an environment where they have to be extroverts, but it's a performance so whatever potential faux pas is written off as part of the act.
There's no equivalent for sex. We don't have blowjob classes where students practice oral sex by fellating a dildo. We don't have "how to eat out a chick" classes where the students practice eating out a ciswoman while the tutor is there coaching the students on what to do and what to not do. This is just not how our society is arranged.
Incels are of course vicious misogynists, and the misogyny is what caused them to begin digging the hole. But at a certain point, the hole keeps on getting dug because of their insecurity and even if they were radicalized away from reactionary politics, the insecurity still exists and the hole will still be dug. Reading Marx doesn't make some hangups about sex go away.
I would argue it's not the sex that is specifically the problem, sex is clumsy for everyone in first experiences. For the incels it's the part before the sex they are erring on. We don't have socialisation classes on what typically occurs before the sex, we only have movies for that and the movies are not actually a reflection of our current reality. They get taught the wrong thing, fail, build up insecurity about it, fail even harder, and then resent society for it. This resentment at society for this makes them uniquely susceptible to the deep hate that the community has now become a hotbed for, including the mass killings carried out by some of them.
If I wanted to turn this around I think my starting point would be movies. Specifically movies focused on inceldom and reforming from it but also followed by a change in the way movies currently teach people these relations in an out of date way that simply isn't reflecting current society.
That makes sense. At the end of the day, sex, flirting, how to hold a conversation, and other forms of socialization are just skills, and like all skills, they can be practiced and they can be taught. I think there's a massive societal failing where nobody is formally or even informally taught these skills. People are expected to just stumble upon acquiring these skills or try to fill in knowledge gaps with movies or porn.
We have classes for various life skills like cooking or how to drive a car. We have classes for otherwise trivial tasks like how to use a smartphone or how to use Excel. We even have classes for some socializing skills like how to give a speech or how to hone a radio voice. But for things like flirting or sex, forms of socialization that are essential parts of the human condition and that are absolutely harder than adding a new column in Excel, they are somehow unable to be taught.
This leads to massive mystification of sex, which ties back to what you've said. Societal mystification of sex will never compare to the reality on the ground, which leads to resentment and susceptibility to reactionary politics when their attempts inevitably fail. If the only thing they have are porn where none of the porn actors actually feel good in the sex positions they are in and movies that don't even resemble real life dating in the slightest, then they are pretty much set up for failure.
This is also where those pickup artists seep in. They push out various "how to flirt with chicks" and other "life hacks," essentially making the sex equivalent of a "how to do laundry" or "how to tie your shoe" instructional videos, which ropes people into becoming reactionary incels. I don't know how leftist orgs can offer socializing classes or if they are even capable of doing so. But preaching about how incels are misogynists hasn't gotten us anywhere. If anything, the problem is getting worse because I don't think any of the OG redpill pickup artists are as prominent as Andrew Tate. Obviously, what we are currently doing isn't working.
For a lot of incels, they basically need a female sex therapist, as in a therapist where sex is part of the therapy. They essentially need a female sex tutor who teaches them how to have sex. They are stuck in a vicious cycle of insecurity about sex due to inexperience in sex leading to further insecurity about sex, and for most of them, the hole they dug themselves in is deep enough that they can't get out without someone rescuing them.
We have dance classes to teach people how to dance so someone who might be insecure or shy about dancing can practice dancing in a relatively nonjudgmental environment and acquire enough dancing skill that the insecurity gets mitigated. Improv performances also fulfill a similar role with socialization. People are placed in an environment where they have to be extroverts, but it's a performance so whatever potential faux pas is written off as part of the act.
There's no equivalent for sex. We don't have blowjob classes where students practice oral sex by fellating a dildo. We don't have "how to eat out a chick" classes where the students practice eating out a ciswoman while the tutor is there coaching the students on what to do and what to not do. This is just not how our society is arranged.
Incels are of course vicious misogynists, and the misogyny is what caused them to begin digging the hole. But at a certain point, the hole keeps on getting dug because of their insecurity and even if they were radicalized away from reactionary politics, the insecurity still exists and the hole will still be dug. Reading Marx doesn't make some hangups about sex go away.
I would argue it's not the sex that is specifically the problem, sex is clumsy for everyone in first experiences. For the incels it's the part before the sex they are erring on. We don't have socialisation classes on what typically occurs before the sex, we only have movies for that and the movies are not actually a reflection of our current reality. They get taught the wrong thing, fail, build up insecurity about it, fail even harder, and then resent society for it. This resentment at society for this makes them uniquely susceptible to the deep hate that the community has now become a hotbed for, including the mass killings carried out by some of them.
If I wanted to turn this around I think my starting point would be movies. Specifically movies focused on inceldom and reforming from it but also followed by a change in the way movies currently teach people these relations in an out of date way that simply isn't reflecting current society.
That makes sense. At the end of the day, sex, flirting, how to hold a conversation, and other forms of socialization are just skills, and like all skills, they can be practiced and they can be taught. I think there's a massive societal failing where nobody is formally or even informally taught these skills. People are expected to just stumble upon acquiring these skills or try to fill in knowledge gaps with movies or porn.
We have classes for various life skills like cooking or how to drive a car. We have classes for otherwise trivial tasks like how to use a smartphone or how to use Excel. We even have classes for some socializing skills like how to give a speech or how to hone a radio voice. But for things like flirting or sex, forms of socialization that are essential parts of the human condition and that are absolutely harder than adding a new column in Excel, they are somehow unable to be taught.
This leads to massive mystification of sex, which ties back to what you've said. Societal mystification of sex will never compare to the reality on the ground, which leads to resentment and susceptibility to reactionary politics when their attempts inevitably fail. If the only thing they have are porn where none of the porn actors actually feel good in the sex positions they are in and movies that don't even resemble real life dating in the slightest, then they are pretty much set up for failure.
This is also where those pickup artists seep in. They push out various "how to flirt with chicks" and other "life hacks," essentially making the sex equivalent of a "how to do laundry" or "how to tie your shoe" instructional videos, which ropes people into becoming reactionary incels. I don't know how leftist orgs can offer socializing classes or if they are even capable of doing so. But preaching about how incels are misogynists hasn't gotten us anywhere. If anything, the problem is getting worse because I don't think any of the OG redpill pickup artists are as prominent as Andrew Tate. Obviously, what we are currently doing isn't working.