I can't start because i don't have any bad jokes cos I'm perfect
Edit: thanks for all your bad jokes but I'm now more unwell than i was yesterday so it didn't work
A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and asks "Didn't I see you in here with Descartes last weekend?"
The horse thinks for a moment and says, "I don't think so."
The horse vanishes.
You see, the joke is a reference to Descartes' philosophical work, specifically his oft-quoted Latin phrase "Cogito, ergo sum" which has often been overly simplified in western pop culture as "I think, therefore I am". There have been many pop-culture variations on this in varying degrees of seriousness, but more often it's used for comedic effect, such as imagining talking horses vanishing from bars. The actual philosophy is quite nuanced. Descartes even mused on the concept of thought itself, attempting to take nothing for granted.
I mean, I could have explained the philosophical background to the silly joke at the start. But that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
How do you titillate an ocelot
spoiler
You oscillate its tits a lot
A horse walks into the bar.
The bartender says "what is this, a set up to a joke?"
The horse goes neigh
Why didn’t the lifeguard at the beach save the hippy from drowning?
Cause he was too far out maaaan
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because even a chicken knows jaywalking shouldn't be a crime.
My dog doesn't have a nose. How does he smell?
spoiler
AWFUL
This animal joke brought to you by the people that steal bad jokes from reddit gang.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Incase he got a hole in one
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The neutron asks how much. The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
What did one Marxist-Leninist say to another?
Beanis cum piss shid fard beanis
Giraffe walks into a bar
Bartender says, "You want a longneck?"
Giraffe says, "I have a choice?"
Grasshopper hops into a bar
Bartender says, "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!"
Grasshopper says, "What, you've got a drink called Steve?"
What's the difference between a Hippo and Zippo?
spoiler
Ones big and heavy, and the other is a little lighter
What does a marxist and an anarchist have in common?
They're in the same polycule